Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Hi. I am reaching out for support so this is my first time on a message board. I have been married for almost 14 years and together we have 4 children. My husband completely sober is awesome but in the evenings things change. He is a creature of habit and the habit for the last decade is drinking every night. He likes to debate naturally as he is an intellectual but in the after drinking He is just confrontational with no filter. He argues most nights with me unless I avoid him, but then only get harassed by him that I don't spend anytime with him. Life is just Very exhausting some times. Now that the kids are getting older I worry about the influence he could have and for my 14 year she already knows what is going on and makes comments to me. Anyway. Really I am just trying to figure out how to navigate through it all. When he's sober he admits it is an issue and has talked about quoting at least 50 times. But there is always an excuse or a better time to do so.
I'm so sorry for what brings you here, but glad that you now have support, here.
I struggle with how much to talk to my kids about their dad. I have 3 kids, all young adults, but all living at home. I don't want to always make their dad's drinking an issue, but I also don't want to feel like we're ignoring the elephant in the room. And sometimes my kids don't want to upset me, by talking about his drinking. It's a tough one to figure out. We all went to family nights at my AH's IOP rehab. That gave us the opportunity to talk some about addiction/alcoholism in general terms. Have you been able to talk very much with your 14 year old about her dad's drinking? It might be a comfort to her to have some honest discussion about what alcoholism is and isn't.
Keep posting here. Life with an alcoholic is really hard, and having a place to vent, ask questions, get feedback is sanity-saving. Sending hugs and prayers.