Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
My husband has a major drinking problem and I'm starting to think drugs are part of the problem. He refuses to get help so my option is to divorce him and let him be. We have 2 children, 11 year old and soon to be 2 year old. I can't do this anymore and keeping hoping he will change like he constantly says he will. Bad part of it all is he is now talking suicide, that's why I think drugs are involved. What am I supposed to do? My decision will effect everyone? I don't want to be responsible for our family breaking up and I dont want to be responsible for him hurting himself bc I left him. I also don't want to keep living this way and letting our children see this behavior and letting them think it's ok to be like that. He is currently passed out from drinking half of a half gallon by himself. He fell and busted his head open and all he keeps talking about is how I don't care. I do care but I'm exhausted! 14 years of my life have been put into this relationship only to be crapped on. He used to be abusive, not anymore. But I can't handle the drugs and alcohol. He was also unfaithful to me for almost 3 years. Why can't he understand the pain he has caused me and how he has pushed me away bc of his choices. I feel so lost and hopeless...
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Hi. This is my first post. I'm here because my husband is an addict and it's having a negative impact on our marriage and my emotional and mental well being. He's an alcoholic who is also addicted to pornography and video gaming. He spends every moment that he isn't at work or sleeping drinking beer, playing his video games, and looking at porn. He's completely pushed me out of his life. We don't...
Um, no.
I think the responsibility is pretty squarely on the your husband and his behavior and addiction(s).
If he sincerely denies there is a problem and refuses to seek help, then you and your kids are quite powerless. Maybe a separation will trigger the sort of self reflection he needs to do to arrive at a different conclusion.
Your 11 year old deserves to have teenage years ahead including an emotionally stable home life and a mom who is living an authentic life....far more than they need the "complete" family as you describe it. The 2 year old has far more to gain (or to lose).
may the force be with you
As for the pain that he has caused and put you through, the drugs and alcohol changed his thinking patterns and he has no thought or care for what he is doing to anything else, he is only thinking about himself and the using, that is it.