Like many of us, my sense is that you are starting to face the cold hard truth of alcoholism. I spent many years (even researched it) thinking he didn't really have a problem, that this was normal. I don't think passing out is normal. I also told myself, that it was better to stay with him than disrupt the kids, yet his nastiness (when he drank) hurt my kids and me. The fact you find yourself irritated when he drinks is also just like all of us. I have said in many posts that untreated addiction is not a good future. As they say in Al anon, you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. Reach out to others who are going thru this. I've finally had enough (25 years of it), I'm leaving. But every one has to figure out what works for them in their own time. Only took me 25 years (I spent to many of them begging him, pleading, crying, getting angry, snooping - to see how much and what he was drinking; I spent thousands on an intervention and assisted with treatment costs). I have done everything, now I need to do everything for me and my kids. Good luck.

You don't say how old your daughter is but I have a daughter too (she was 14 at the time), and I will say that being around my husband in a drunken passed out state, did damage to her that I just did not recognize. She started spending quite a bit of time in her room, to avoid him and began to go to a pretty dark place and even attempted suicide. I found this out about two weeks after it happened by reading some of her texts. I almost died right there on the spot. I had no idea how badly it was affecting her, and I almost lost her. I never would have been able to forgive myself had she succeeded. I will tell you that after that I went to court for a motion to vacate to get my husband out of the house immediately. I was already in the process of divorce, but this just expedited things. Teens are so impulsive, and they can't see much past today. I got her into see a therapist, got her involved in team sports, and without my husband living here she is doing 1000% better. Please don't think that you're better off staying there and that you can all ignore his bad behavior. It is only going to get worse. These days my daughter isn't afraid to invite her friends over to the house, for fear that her father will be drunk. My house is now so peaceful and stress-free it is truly a new life for me! With every day that passes I feel stronger and stronger.

My daughter is 6. I know she can be frustrating as she is starting to exert her independence, which is normal. I feel as though his tolerance for her behavior is very low and he is quick to get mad. She has made statements that have me concerned such as "I don't like daddy" " he is being mean" She is my first and only child so I am not sure if these are just her way of showing her displeasure when she is in trouble for misbehaving or if it is more. I am also worried about the example he is setting, I do not want her growing up thinking drinking a 6 pack a night, or more, is ok, or that driving while drinking a beer is ok. But I have some control right now, I can drive or limit the times he has to take her places. I can't cover them all, I work as well. If I leave what can I do to protect her. I also do not want to take him away from het, but worry so much I am making the wrong choice to protect her. It would be easier if his drinking and its effects were more obvious, but I am always second guessing myself

If his drinking bothers you and alters his personality, you are not overreacting. Maybe therapy for you as a sounding board? Problem drinkers are experts at making you think you are overreacting. I get it though, I've stayed for over 20 years for my kids. When AH is good, he's a great husband and dad. When he's bad he's horrifying. Now the kids are older and I still worry I made the wrong choice. I wonder if you've ever talked with him about this, I know that's easier said than done. I wish you strength while you work through what you need to do.