Hi! This is my first post but am glad I came across this, I have just felt like I need to talk to someone because I really have not talked to any friends or family about my situation. I grew up with an alcoholic mother that still struggles, and always told myself I would never be with someone that is the same way. My boyfriend of 5 years has always never had great social cues and maybe overdrank around friends and stuff, but never to what I would consider a problem up until about a year ago. He has very extreme anxiety and started to drink to help with that, and now has found himself hooked on it. He drinks about every other day, at least to the point of being mildly drunk. There's some things I definitely resonate with people on here, he constantly goes back on goals and promises. On an almost daily basis tells me he is only going to have a few, then will come back upstairs and tell me he needs more and it never ends. After he has a big drinking day, he will feel really bad and say he's never going to do it again, and low and behold a few days later back to the same habits. One thing I've noticed that seems a bit unusual is he absolutely does not try to hide it at all, in fact, 99% of our arguments is him saying he wants to drink and me getting mad and us fighting about it. Maybe that is something that would change if he continues this. He also has been very upfront with knowing he has a problem pretty much ever since I noticed it, and has been actively seeking help. He has a therapist and is starting addiction therapy. When is not drinking or having cravings, we talk for hours about how he wants to change and setting goals and coming up with ideas how to get through this, but as soon as a craving hits, all bets are off. I think the biggest emotional damage is every time he drinks very inappropriately (got drunk on my birthday so we sat at home while he kept walking to the gas station to get more and more, drinking to excess at family gatherings, etc) and says he isn't going to anymore, and then does. Also a big problem is sometimes when he is drunk he will feel suicidal, and last week he called police because I wasn't here and he was suicidal. He ended up getting taken to detox in handcuffs (just for his own protection, but neighbors don't know that), and I was fearful of our lease if our landlord knew. Now I am afraid for my own housing, so I tried to set boundaries that he could not drink here in the house, which he agreed to for a day and then changed his mind when he started getting cravings again, "my name is on the lease, I can drink where I want." I read a bit and decided I can't change his behavior (for a long time I tried shielding him and sheltering him from potential consequences) , now I really don't care. But I do not think my own housing should be in jeopardy. How do I set boundaries for myself? I am afraid to leave the house because of what happened last week when I was gone. I don't want him here potentially getting police involved, so I don't want to leave, but he refuses to go anywhere else. I just keep hoping and praying he will get better with therapy, but I don't know how to protect myself in the meantime. Anything we mutually agree on when he's sober just gets thrown in the garbage when he wants to drink. Any advice would be welcomed, but also just wanted to throw this out there, like I said I have just felt pretty alone in it. Oh, and no kids by the way!