I came home from work on Saturday at 5 to a dunk husband of course. I was already expecting it. I've had a long week dealing with his drunkenness every single day. The kids went to the park and he said to me what if I told you you are so hot, I want to pleasure you? I wanted to roll my eyes and say what if I told you that you are such an ass, that's the last thing I need right now. And what if I told him, he wants nothing to do with me unless it's in bed? He doesn't want to hear anything I have to say to the point where I can't talk to him about anything anymore. If I start talking he will go to bathroom or even flat out tell me he doesn't care. We can't talk about politics or news or family or nothing.he's always making me feel as if I'm stupid all the time and I think he's jealous of my work success. He doesn't want me to be successful or happy or excited about anything. But I told him I would meet him in the bedroom. When he got there, he says this feels weird and I ask why? He says there's no way you want to do this and I answer what makes you think that? Even though I want to cry and scream to just get it over with. I'm sure he expected me to say no and then he would be angry all night telling me he never gets any and we've had this fight so many times, I lost count. I can't talk to him about my feelings because he always turns it around on me or he ignores me for days afterwards. I'm so angry at everything he does and try to hold it all in and I'm seriously sick and depressed. He's drinking 18 tall beers a day at least. He's short tempered with the kids and I get scared. He thinks it's perfectly fine to have our 6 yr. Old daughter hold wood while he cuts it with a skillsaw While drunk until I convince her to go to the mall with my other daughter and I. He tried to get her to stay with him instead and cry no one ever helps him. He wants all the attention all the time and we have 3 kids I'd rather be paying attention to. Anyway that's my rant for the day. I try to post but my mind is so jumbled all time and I never have enough time to even think straight. I've been reading about narcissist this week and thinking that must be part of the problem. It's was eye opening and now I'm just trying to not let him do this to me. I'm feeling very bad and confused and like a different person from one day to next....like the bittersweet symphony song. Anyway, I'm going to try and have a good day no matter his behavior. Thanks for reading.