Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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eileen12 04/02/2017

My husband of almost 40 years is a high functioning alcoholic. He was hospitalized 4 years ago with alcohol poisoning. Since then he has continued to drink. In the last several weeks he has developed an extended abdomen and an unnatural color. I confronted him last week (and other times) and since then he has cut down slowly in the past week. He went for a physical on Thursday and the blood results showed liver enzymes abnormal and a high white blood count, among other things. He has been sober one day and seems determined to quit. He has an abdominal ultrasound scheduled for Thursday. He's 61 years old. I would really like to hear from others in this situation. I'm so very sad- I did not expect our lives to turn out like this in the end.

jms7229 04/04/2017

My husband is 63. With type 2 diabetes, chronic kidney failure, anemia of a mysterious origin and has been drinking for the 41 years I've known him and has tried to quit several times over the last 10 years. Always half heartedly and always unsuccessful. Heartbreaking. I also never thought I'd end up here either. I have found that the only thing I can do Is detach and work on my self.
I sincerely hope your story has a happier ending than mine.

eileen12 04/04/2017

Thank you for responding. I'm just so worried about him! I think he is still drinking and hiding it from me, even though he says he's not. We still have some liquor in the house. I think it would probably be a good idea to get rid of it, but I think he would probably not react well. We've had a good life up until a few years ago. Four children and six grandchildren. Our kids all know what has been going on and have been very supportive but I only have one friend that I really talk to about it and then very rarely.
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I hope things get better for you. It's hard for me to detach. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes and everything in our lives is overshadowed by this.
Do you go to any kind of support group, like Alanon? I'm wondering if that might help me.

jms7229 04/05/2017

Alanon has certainly helped others but I never formally attended. I was lucky enough to have a friend who sponsored people in alanon and I would meet with her. What really helped me was one on one therapy. It took me three tries before I found the right therapist but it was so worth it. I also read many books on alcoholism, detachment, codependency, and treatment modalities. But, honestly, most days are a struggle.... even during his sober days.
If you like I'd be happy to give you a list of the books I liked best.

eileen12 04/05/2017

I would love it if you would send me your list of books. Thank you!

hrw1993 04/07/2017

It is difficult to think they can change , my hubbys health is terrible but he won't see a doctor or accept that his actions are the cause, I feel he just wants to self destruct.
I hope yours has seen the light.

eileen12 04/08/2017

I don't know what my husband wants. We were out last night and he had a glass of wine. He says he thinks it's ok if he has something to drink once in a while, but I can see this escalating to what it was before.

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