Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

1,099 Members
2,716 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Wives of Alcoholics Support Group

can AA meetings help those who Refuse to stop dri

suemagoo
suemagoo

My Ah has been to 3 AA meeting the first poistive step he ever made ... but at the same time he hasn't quit the drinking or even cut down to drinking less , my question is are meetings a waste of time if the alcoholic is still drinking? My husband went to a shop while we were out shopping and I caught him put a small sized vodka in his pocket this was the day after a meeting and my huge problem was that he was driving with me , our 1 year old and 15 year old in the car lucky I had a feeling he might get alcohol even tho he told me he was only getting smokes and I got to take it off him before he put it to his lips I'm trying to stay strong but I'm soo sick of this he is a functioning alcoholic b     ut getting worse he drink drives everywhere I think it's only a matter of time before he loses his job , I was hoping theese meetings would help him but he doesn't even seem to be trying 

APieceOfMyHeart
APieceOfMyHeart
Well... I hate to say my answer is maybe, and then again, maybe not. On one hand, it gives him the opportunity to hear other people's progress, what they have been through and what sober life has brought to the table for them. However, it can also provide him with validation that he's "not that bad" he could also be, for lack of better terms, "going through the motions" by attending meetings without actually stopping drinking. Perhaps it will eventually "click," perhaps someone's story will inspire him, hit close to home, or something else will bring the situation to ahead. Shoplifting and drinking and driving? Yikes! Yes, it certainly sounds like things are really bad. Please protect your children, I'm sure you're wise enough to know that. Best to you *hug*
suemagoo
suemagoo
Thanks yes it is very hard situation , he didn't shop lift tho he bought the bottle I just caught him trying to sneak it past me , but sometimes I do feel like he's just going to the meetings to "keep everyone quiet" who has expressed their concern over his drinking the point of AA meetings are to help those willing to give up the drink but he hasn't even cut down so that's the worrying part and he just drink drives all the time so I dnt know what to do
pietro84
pietro84
AA is an amazing phenomena and millions of people have lived good lives because of the program. I owe my life to AA. That said, it is not a standalone solution to alcoholism.

For someone white knuckling their way through - the first handful of meetings CAN:

show that there is a path to be happier and healthier
show that there are tons of people who are in the same boat - or even been in a worse place
chip away at the fear and self loathing that are part of the disease
allow for a random person or testimonial to be "the one" that flips the switch for the alcoholic to say to themselves, "maybe I can do this" or, "maybe I should do this."
More generally - open up possibilities for a different way of thinking and living.

For AA to really do it's thing, there has to be a brutally honest admission of powerlessness over alcohol and an equally authentic craving to change that. Absent those, one might just as well go sit in the car for an hour.

So my answer to your question Sue is also - Maybe. Don't expect a miracle but then again miracles have been known to happen in church basements full of drunks for 80+ years.

may the force be with you
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • PrettyPoet

    Married to an Addict

    Posted by: PrettyPoet
    Last Reply: pearl78
    2
    Hi. This is my first post. I'm here because my husband is an addict and it's having a negative impact on our marriage and my emotional and mental well being. He's an alcoholic who is also addicted to pornography and video gaming. He spends every moment that he isn't at work or sleeping drinking beer, playing his video games, and looking at porn. He's completely pushed me out of his life. We don't...