Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I attended another Al-Anon meeting last night. I had gone to one back in September and it just wasn't a good fit. All the people there were parents of alcoholics so I just couldn't relate. I emailed someone in town asking if there was a meeting for spouses of alcoholics. She suggested I go to that one. It was better and I will be going back next week. I really didn't catch everyone's situation in the group but after the meeting an older lady came and talked to me a bit. She told me that her husband has been sober for 43 years. She said they got lucky cuz he got sick with pancreatitis. Isn't that an odd thing to say "Got lucky that he got sick!" Isn't that the truth, though? I pray and pray that something will finally happen to my husband to make him realize his alcohol is killing him (and our family). Me leaving him is obviously not his rock bottom cuz he could care less that I am gone. I'm not very good telling a persons age but she was probably 70ish? Assuming her and her husband are close in age he was probably in his mid thirties when he got pancreatitis. My husband is 43. Hmmm.
I work with a lady who divorced her alcoholic husband when they were 43. He died at 46. He 'only drank beer,' One day I was talking to my AH and he said he has never heard of anyone who has died from BEER. I said "I DO!"
I work with a lady who divorced her alcoholic husband when they were 43. He died at 46. He 'only drank beer,' One day I was talking to my AH and he said he has never heard of anyone who has died from BEER. I said "I DO!"
@lmichels...I understand not fitting in with parents of alcoholics. That was how I was a few years ago when issue was just with my ex. Unfortunately I now have to face that my son is well on his way to being an alcoholic and he probably already is. So now I have to learn this detaching with my son. Because he is my son and always will be my son. I cannot walk away from him and at least i can with my ex.
With regard to "only beer" - once a few years back when my AH was "only" drinking 10-15 beers per night, he quit drinking for a few days and was having tactile hallucinations. So beer alone still caused pretty serious withdrawal symptoms. This surprised me too because I guess I believed him when he said "it's only beer". Since then he started drinking about 4 shots of vodka on top of the 10-15 beers. I wonder what withdrawal symptoms he would get if he quit now - maybe seizures?
Lori47 - I'm so sorry about your son. I worry about that with my own kids too since alcoholism runs on both sides of the family. I guess I will check out Al-Anon if that happens. Is there even a way to prevent it?
He is now 21 yrs old and been in the Navy 2 1/2 years. Legal to drink at 18 where he has been stationed. He is now a heavy drinker though this leave was not as bad as his last leave. As in peeing in the corner thinking it was the toilet then clearing my dining room table to go to bed because he thought that was his bunk.
What can I do? He does not want to talk about alcoholism. I love my son and he is such a sweet guy when he is straight. Very thoughtful and considerate. I do not know what the future holds.
BTW Alcoholism does not run in my family at all...not with my grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents or siblings. I came from a nondrinking family. My ex family has heavy drinking on both his moms and dads side of family so I know thats where my sons genes come from. What is a mom to do?
hugs, strength and peace to you…
But when he's withdrawing from beer he has to take Librium to stop the retching, stomach cramps and hallucinations. He can only stay off beer for a about 4 days a time. And because he hasn't had Pancreatitis again he thinks he'll be ok.
It's only a matter of time before it catches up with him again, he's only 48 but I have my doubts as to whether he will survive past 50 sometimes and sometimes I think I want him to become ill again now so it might make him come to his senses.