Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
To all the young women out there who have a boyfriend who drinks too much but you love him anyway, LISTEN UP!!!!
I am a seasoned 52 year old wife of a major alchoholic and some day your young and handsome prince's booze will attack his body, mind, health, and mental health. After all the years you sweated out his drunkenness and unfair treatment, some day their bodies are going to give out completely. Mine just got on the list for a liver transplant. After years of being ignored and chosen second to Captain Morgan, I am now expected to be Nurse Fucking Ratchet.
Then, my dearies, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF THEM WHILE THEY WAIT FOR A LIVER TRANSPLANT. It is your job to nurse them, feed them, help them walk, take them to the ER (7 times this year alone) and you get nothing from it. Once you hit this point of AH emotional abuse, the loves goes away, FOR SELF PROTECTION. Now I am being called on to be his nurse and wait on him. I fell out of love with him 10 years ago when he started drinking at home and treating me like shit that whole time.
Please don't let it get this far as I have come. If any of you newlywed type couples want to ask questions about what your golden years will look like if he never stops drinking? Hit me up, I got some truth for you that will hurt at first, but it might save your sanity.
Incredibly painful and sad. My AH is still drinking but functioning at his job so thinks he does not have a problem. He came home intoxicated last night after a night out with friends. When drunk which he calls a "buzz" he talks non stop and no one else can get a word in edge wise, That is of course until it is time for him to pass out and then goes to bed reeking of alcohol all night long. I sleep in the other room because I can't stand the smell and the snoring. I have seen him staggering drunk in the last month, slurring his words and he still denies he has a problem, I just feel dead inside because he has chosen alcohol over me time and again. He loves alcohol more than he loves me. I have tried to talk to him about it, yelled at him. threatened him with leaving, begged him to stop but he is committed to his death spiral and there is nothing I can do about it. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that it is a hopeless situation and need to plan my exit strategy.
The women I worry for the most are the ones who have kids with their AH. I never wanted kids, never liked kids, in fact, I am on the witch's side in Hansel and Gretel! The most important thing is to realize YOU are enough for you. Putting your hopes and dreams upon another person is deadly and you will lose every time. People will call you SELFISH and a BAD WIFE and REMEMBER YOUR VOWS, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. No one seems to notice the spouse of a drunk's mental/physical health.
Recently, I cut ties with my toxic family and have no one in my corner except my best friend from 2nd grade. She has witnessed my abuse as a child and my abuse as an adult. What about the people who have no support system? Do they become homeless when their AH dies? I still don't know the answer to that one.
Take more time to focus on YOU and what you like to do. The things I am passionate about no one in my life understands them nor even tries. I have 3 large talking parrots that I would LOVE to have out with me all day, but they are in a room of their own because my house is small. I have two wonderful rescue dogs who cuddle with me at night since I moved into the guest room. I have my death/black metal which I blast on 11 and AH knows NEVER to tell me to turn it down.
Recently I started putting my designs on t-shirt sites and have been making some decent money. Anyone can do it and if any of you ladies are artistic in any way and know your way around photoshop, illustrator, and dots per inch, you can sell your stuff too!
Hit me up if anyone wants to start selling their designs on websites. It makes me feel less worthless and I enjoy it so much.
If anyone wants to talk privately with me and become internet BFFs, I am all about it since I am lonely but have tons of things to talk about. My email is: crazy_bird_lady@yahoo.com. I am here for you my sisters in pain.