Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Advice

Bk31
Bk31

My husband and I have been together for going on 3 years. I knew he always drank but I never really knew how much. We moved into our house a little over a year ago and it's been nothing but hell. He is now a very angry drinker, drunk every night. Has had at least 4 jobs in the past year and a half. The last straw was him treating my son ( thru a previous marriage) cussing at him, threading him just down right mean to him. He went to jail for domestic violence against my son recently and I have since moved in with my mom thinking things would change or hope they'd atleast get worked on. He has not stopped drinking lost another job and I'm looking my mind. I hate to walk away because I love him but I just can't deal with this anymore or have my son put thru much more. What should I Do? Please help me. 

WillowWanderer
WillowWanderer
I have dealt with toxic family and distancing myself from them while hard, was always better for my sanity. Why does it feel 100 times harder when it comes to our spouses? I have been with my husband for 8+ years. It wasn't always this bad. Lately, however I find myself questioning if this turmoil is worth it to salvage what is left. I understand the hopeful doubt of it. I wish I could give you a definitive answer, but I am still asking that same question myself.
eileen12
eileen12
I vote for leave- life shouldn't be so hard. No matter how much you love someone you can't change them. They have to want to change themselves. Please put your son- and yourself! first!! Life is long- don't waste your time. And I know this whole post sounds glib, and I don't know all the details- just realize YOU and your son are worth more than this.
Bk31
Bk31
I definitely appreciate all of your advice never think it sounds bad in any way. My family and friends I think are over heating about it and I'm literally at my end. My bp is high and my anxiety is worse. I want to leave but I fear the unknown. I don't want a failed marriage but I know my kids need to see what's right and what's wrong.
LA2017
LA2017
He does not deserve for you to worry about him. You come first and your child does to. If he cannot commit to making himself better then he is willing to lose you. I realized in my own experience, that I am the only parent and my children only have one childhood. I left because I did not want them to waste their childhood on this. Try not to worry about the future, take one step, one day, one moment at a time and the answers will come.