My dad. My mom and I never got along.

ALC67, what can I say? Somehow reading your posts makes me realise that even though my mom could be cruel there were a couple of times she said she loved me and I'm grateful for that. Lately I've become very alone and if it wasn't for DS I would be very lonely and depressed - DS is everything to me and especially this group where I can chat away to my hearts content - I so look forward to the comments on the post as it kind of makes me feel I'm part of a family. Hugs to you all..

I had the most wonderful father. He was the supporter and strength of our home... for all of us in the family until the day he passed (this Valentines Day). We have so many wonderful family memories of going to the Grand Canyon, SeaWorld, the beach, the mountains, to Disney Land, Petrified Forest, Painted Desert, Carlsbad Caverns, San Marcos, Knottsberry Farm, jeeping w/ cousins and in the mtns, camping, .... And that's just the first 18 years of my life.
Thru my adulthood he disagreed w/ the choice I made of where to attend church, but finally let it go and never spoke of it again and accepted it totally. He was luving towards ppl that were not to him.
He was fired from his job of 38 years within months of when he could file for retirement.... the very next week he called the man who fired him and told him he was driving out of town to pick up woodworking supplies... and asked him if he needed anything. He showed him who was the BIGGER man. He forgave me and my brother of anything w/ love and always worked to make our house a HOME by building, planting trees, making sidewalks, building a carport, building a shop, making my daughter a playhouse....! Their home and yard is beautiful b/c of his many talents. The neighbors across the street are in their 90s and he wld make them muffins and bake them cakes and take it to them b/c he wanted to take care of them.
He left a legacy of love. I am so thankful that this man was my father in this life. I was so blessed. I have always been closer to him than Mom, but now is my opportunity to become a friend to her that I have never been. We are very different... but I know I can learn many things from her.
xo

Sunvalley you are so very blessed and whatever happens to you in life those are precious memories to have and they will help you through the difficult times. It is also encouraging to know that not everyone has serious issues with their parents, I love my mum, she too taught me so much about helping others, she is the one who has always helped out the older people in her neighbourhood and taught me what it is to be a good person, even to the point that I am forever emptying rubbish from my pockets cos she taught me to always take my rubbish home with me. I try to treat people the way I would wish to be treated, she taught me this and sometimes it is hard to do and I don't always manage it but I try because it is a great lesson in life, just one of the many things I have learnt from her.
AL67 I can imagine the ride home you had and you know what it is time for you to find out who you are, you are a blessing to us here and that's a great place to start, I know because I told my counsellor the other day that I have no idea who I am as I went from one abusive relationship with my father into one with my soon to be ex so I lost my identity that's if I ever had it but today is the beginning of a new start.

U are right angelglory... every day is a new day to change the way we think about life. The way we think determines the way we feel. The way we feel determines the way we live and experience life. It all starts w/ our thoughts!.
xo

Wish your dad had been mine. I missed out on so many things that I THOUGH families were supposed to be about but mine never was.

Yeah that ride home was tense. Mom asked "Do you want to stop for pizza on the way home? My treat.' I said "No. I have to get to bed because I have to get up early and go to work.' (I was working 2 part time jobs which she repeatedly described at 'not REAL work'. I started at 4 am. Every day.). She asked me to drop her off in town and she'd walk home. I did that. Don't know what she did or what she thought about but I hope she thought REAL HARD about it. The subject was never mentioned again.

It's amazing that anyone considers me a 'blessing' since I seem to be a total failure in everything else. My cats think the world of me but they're cats. I've tried treating people the way I'd like to be treated but somehow it never works out.

" I Guess I Was Closer To Mom, We Were
So Much Alike !

Loved Dad, TOO !

They Have Both Gone To, HEAVEN...

AL67, you are precious, what people have done to you does not make you a failure, it is them that have the problem, it was not your fault. This is something I took years to come to terms with and still doubt myself occasionally but abuse of any kind makes us feel powerless in life but we don't have to be, it does however take time to trust people and even if for now you only have friends here while you heal it is a safe place to be and you can open your heart so we can help you heal.

Bgoodwin, I think that is why my mum and me get on cos we are so similar

Always was my mother.My dad passed in July, I sure miss him.I was very close with him as well, I did not realize just how close until he was gone.It is very hard to lose a parent.