I was always closer to my mom than my dad. He wasn't home much ( he worked a lot) and when he was we were scared of him. Mom raised me to be her best friend. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I could go on but I won't.

I have always been closer to my dad. He passed away 2 weeks ago. My mom and I are very different and she is difficult to communicate w/ (to me)... we've always had a hard time understanding one another.

My dad and I could read each other's mind. My mom admitted to me while dad was in the hospital during January (2x she admitted it)that when I was born it was my DAD who bonded w/ me... not her.

I was able to hold conversation w/ my dad that I never have been able to with my mom. My mom is close to my brother. They are very much alike. Now that Dad is gone... I fear the unsteadiness of the relationship I have w/ Mom... but I am having to give it over to the Lord and pray and BELIEVE that He will heal some wounds that need mended now that Dad is no longer here to be the buffer....

xo

My mum as I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by me father. God has healed me from much of this abuse so am able to now at least talk to him and be around him. I am very much like my mum and that's why we get on so well. Families are so hard, I remember being really sad for a long time when my Father in Law died, at the time I realised I missed him more than I would have missed my dad if he had died and I found that strange at the time but he was really nice and treated me and the kids with respect and cared.

Both my dad and mom, I miss my dad as he passed away 5 years ago. We used to always sit and watch tv together and have a chat, My mom has really being fantastic she has helped me grow and achieve things.

I miss my dad so much - not my mother cos she changed when my dad died and I think she became the person she always was however my dad obviously wouldn't tolerate any nonsense and so she reflected him whilst he was alive. My dad was a man of honesty and integrity, not perfect but I could always trust him.

Neither

Both of my parents are gone. My dad and I didn't speak the last 6 months of his life. I was going through a rough time and wrote to him about it. He replied that if I didn't like my life I should kill myself. When he died I didn't really care. I never cried for him or anything.

Both have gone home to Jesus But I was closer to my mom

Gosh ALC67, thats so awful of your dad to say that..So sorry anyone would say that to you....I dont have a bad relationship with my Dad, we just have nothing in common, he doesn't get me.. He has shirked responsibility of fatherhood all my life, and has not really been there for me.. I try to just roll with it.. talk when I see him, be pleasant when I go see him, whihc isn't all that often.. i suppose he is just disinterested.. he has never gone out of his way to cause me harm or be intentionally mean, which is good, he just doesn't make any effort.........My Mum am I are like twins.. I love her so much, and she has been both Mum and Dad to me.. I have a great step dad too.. So things work out in the end.. Great topic Barb. XXXXX

AL67, how on earth did you cope with that, why do people have children if they aren't willing to love them and care for them, it confuses me. When my son was born, I said to my husband isn't he beautiful and he said I would have preferred a girl. His daughter was his favourite until about her mid teens when he basically gave up on both his kids because his needs came first.

Neither. My dad abused me and my mother just it go on til I moved out.When my father died, I never even went to his funeral. Howver, I have forgiven him and moved on. I see my mother once a week, but we aren't close.

I understand how you feel Lovedbeyond, my dad is still around, my mum knew eventually what was happening but sadly my dad by this time had her under his thumb so she was as much a victim as I was. I too have forgiven my dad and moved on. I does no good to hang onto those awful feelings it is so freeing when you can let go.

ALC67 I so understand how that has hurt and stayed with you because after my dad died and my mom showed herself for what she really was she told me her children were a disappointment to her and my dad - I told her that was nonsense as her children weren't alcoholics, drug addicts or criminals, and that she and my dad never had to worry bailing us out of a bad situation. I also told her my dad would never have said that to her or his chldren and she shouldn't put words into his mouth that were not his. My mom started crying and hugged me asking for forgiveness - the forgiving was easy but its I can never erase the memory of what she said even though I know my dad loved me and cared about me and I knew how my much of a liar my mom was.

neither one of them..... ZERO contact with the man who should have been my dad but never was.... he tortured me (literally) for 14 years. my mother enabled him and turned a blind eye. i can remember her beating me when i was 7 years old claiming that i 'stole her husband' away. i still talk to her, to pacify her. don't even know why i do that. oh well................

My dad wasn't home much because he was usually working. He did work a lot. He also cheated a lot. When he was home I just stayed in my room mostly. After he died I was talking to my stepsister (from his first marraige) and she told me that hey had it much worse than I did from him. But she just LOVED him anyway. I told her what he said and she didn't blame me for not talking to him but because she never had him in the house growing up that she just loved spending time with him at the hospital and so on. Said she wouldn't have missed it for the world. Well good for her. The rest of us wanted very little or nothing to do with him.
As for my mom, well I always was a disappointment to her and knew it. But as I said she raised me to be her best friend. Discouraged me from having outside friends (told me they would never accept me as I am and that I have to cut off my hair, lose 30 pounds and get contacts, and dress differently). Told a psychologist (right in front of me) that she needed to use me to get her social status because she didn't have any of her own. THAT was a quiet ride home let me tell you.....But basically she was saying what I'd already suspected.
I never really forgave her for that or the other things she did, but now she's gone and what's become of me? I was raised to be her best friend (because she didn't have any) and now she's gone and what happens to me? Obviously SHE doesn't need me any more.