So sorry for what you're going through! Hopefully in court you can relay that you'll gladly stay as far from his family as possible. He was your blessing and his family had nothing to do with that. Let them go.

Take care of yourself, and as others tell me, take a step at a time. After all, that's all anyone can do.

Best wishes.

Thank you 4dis for your support and wishes. I do not even want to go to court. I am hoping that I won't have to, I so hate drama and I certainly don't need more stress. God bless...

Grief makes for craziness. It's not you who is crazy, it is the total lack of any control over your life that does it. I am so sorry for all you've had to deal with in such a short time. Take a deep breath and go on being there for your mother if you have the strength to do it. Right now you really need to take care of you. That has to be your priority. I would sit back and just relax. Do you have to respond to the restraining order? A lawyer could answer that.
Are you able to care for your mom? Would there be another way that would take the strain off you?
Does your surgery have to be right now? I know that there are recovery issues after surgery that include lifting restraints because I have had back surgery. I also know the pain in needing the surgery immediately when you can't wait. It's hard to do, but you can only do so much and you put yourself at risk. Hard decisions! I know!,

As for your husband's choice of religious affiliations. That is for him to decide and we find our peace in faith. No one can know the mind of God. Those who profess to know and hurt others with their tongue are sadly lost for God is love. I have encountered people like you refer to. Remember who your Lord is and measure others words accordingly. I'm here, my friend, if you need. Sharon

Mary, you need a lawyer to respond to the restraining order. Restraining orders are issued based on some evidence (false or true) that is presented to the court, and the person seeking a restraining order against you has to show that they served papers on you so that you knew there was a hearing, thereby giving you an opportunity to respond. Given your situation, the order should be thrown out because it was obtained falsely. A lawyer could also pursue a counter-restraining order and possible other legal actions against your in-laws on your behalf.

You can't fix crazy, but you can stop them. I'm sorry this complication has been added to an already full plate. I know this must be terribly hard for you all the way around. That's why God made lawyers, too. Please do get legal advice, and challenge the nonsense. You will probably need to submit some kind of sworn statement about where you have been, etc., but this should not be overly complicated to get thrown out.

One definition of hell is "remoteness from God." I'd say your in-laws were pretty remote at this point....

Hang in there. Keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Martha gives exactly the right advice regarding legal issues. As for hell for the Catholics - I hope you know that is the crazy you can't fix. I suggest you distance yourself from your husbands family hereafter. Have just read the book "GOD IS NOT A CHRISTIAN" By Archbishop Tutu which is pure sanity. He is a wonderful man and a breath of fresh air. He was the driving force behind the truth and reconcilliation commission that led this country through troubled waters where there could so easily been bloodshed.Take care of yourself. This too, will pass.

Mary, everybody is right on. This sounds to like just plain bullying. I wish I was there to help you as I've hated and taken on bullies all my life. It's always been my nature, but it has sometimes gotten me into trouble. Don't your dare take any of this nonsense from them. It's unfortunate but get a lawyer and clear this up and get a restraining order against them. Since you've been gone for 2 months it should be pretty simple. Be sure to tell the judge what you have stated here, about the catholic part ( their own words). Judges are not dumb, he or she should be able to see through this quite easily.

Best Regards, George

OMG...I am so sorry, why can't people just leave each other alone, stop causing more pain?....My God is non-denominational he looks on the heart, Make sure you take your ticket stubs before the court, then sue them for making false reports

Yes, yes, yes ... get an attorney to get you through this. Your 2-month absence proves you have been nowhere near your in-laws; however, do not proceed without legal assistance.

I really do think that you husbands family sound like the crazy ones. Who would do such a thing to a person who has went what you have. I think you got more handed on your plate than what some one should. Will be thinking of you and just take one day at a time. Right know that is all you can do and most likely handle. Good luck

Mary, I have been thinking about you. Your life has been turned upside down and inside out. For your in laws to be so insensitive is just plain hateful. As the others have said, you have not been around them for two months and you have not contacted them by phone. They do not have grounds for a restraining order. You know there is a saying "God don't like ugly". Speak with an attorney, and file a counter restraining order and send them on there merry way. You don't need negative people in your life. God Bless Susan

Hi Mary.

I have had the exact same issues with a SIL who is bat crazy about Catholicism (despite the fact that I sat and read the Bible to her dying father (my husband's Dad) during his last hour on earth. My husband practiced Catholicism since he had NO formal religious upbringing. She and her father declared themselves as born again Christians. She has harassed me every since my husband (her brother) died in December 2012. What worked the best for me was to ignore her. I sent back all her certified letters as "refused". If this goes to court, tell the judge you would gladly comply as long as the restraining order was reciprocated and they could NOT harass you. Please do not let their craziness become your problem. If you have to go to court. just do it and make sure they are required to stay away from you. What they really want to do is fight. And your, refusal to do so, will put you back in the driver's seat and the one with power. They can't stand that! You will get what you want (peace of mind) and they will lose what they want (the power to make you feel even worse during your time of grief.
Hang in there, my friend. You are STRONG even though you hurt!!!!

Just hugs Mary,
Like you need all this . Get the lawyer to send a rep, and get the judge pissed at them. For trivial proceedings. This is emotional harassment for you.

I am sorry too that our weather here was not hospitable for your stay. Since it was so horrendous on you family wise as well.
You were here for the snow dump and ice freeze...Michigan at it's craziest.

J.

Mary I thinks most everybody has it right here. Get an attorney to help you with this, these people are the crazy ones and you don't need the extra stress. As far as the Catholic aspect thats just plain nuts. Christians are supposed to love their neighbors and that includes ones that don't believe exactly the way they do.
Best to you
Jeff