Whether or not you take antidepressants is a choice that you alone along with your doctor must make. No one but you know how deep your panic or depression or grief may be. One thing for certain is, it would be good to let your doctor know just how the pills he put you on effect you. Between you and your doctor you can decide if another type of antidepressant will work for you without all of the bad side effects. It also may be that you will not need something on a steady basis. It may be that he can help you with something to ease the panic attacks that you could take just when you feel one coming on. Once again, YOU need to judge how serious these are and your DOCTOR can help you know what is safe for you.
I am on a daily antidepressant that does not give me any side effects. I still cry. Sometimes I break down into real sobbing. I still have all the feelings that I had before but they are not so intense that I still want to end my own life. If I were in your position I would have a real honest consult with my doctor to determine what I should do in this area.
In addition to the daily antidepressants my doctor also gave me a stronger medication to take when I feel like things are still getting beyond my control. I use these very very very sparingly. I have not even finished the 1st 15 day prescription he gave me back in May. However, there have been a few times they were most certainly needed.
Warm hugs and warm wishes to you. Darlene

I think that if you are fortunate enough to have a doctor, then go back - and make them listen!
You might be taking a wrong class of meds altogether - MD`s seem to lump all things together. You just might have anxiety (reasonable) and not dep. so he needs to really hear you. Make a list before you go in, about what you want to say ect. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with needing some chemical assistance - the effects of high stress, insomnia, ect. can do much more damage to your body, then a xanax or ? G-

Hi every one thank you all for your replys. i guess from reading some of them i should have discussed it with my doctor. I think i just needed to know if this is something that can happen- from you guys who are also going through this terrible grief journy.
because i have so much sadness and confusion in my life at the moment i think i got depression and anxiaty mixed up thinking its the same thing but i know now its diffrent. i'm expiriencing both sometimes.
I will definatly go and have a long chat with my doctor.
Thank you all so much, warm hugs to you all

Only you can decide. I decided not to take medication. I already have enough problems giving up my food addiction. I don't need another addiction.

I'm not the only one to think that way. The Lancet, a prestigious medical journal, disagrees with medications routinely being prescribed for the natural process of grief. Here's the link:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dsm5-in-distress/201202/lancet-rejects-grief-mental-disorder

When my doctor offered meds to me, I asked would it bring my husband back. Then I told her that if it couldn't, I need to learn to deal with my grief.

Sleepy and zoombie like is what a friend of mine said the pills made her feel like. Here's another link about possible effects of antianxiety medications:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/02/13/whitney-houstons-death-sparks-questions-about-over-prescription-of-sedatives/

Good luck in your decision.

Meds have helped me a lot. Like many on here I'm not just dealing with grief. I'm also dealing with loss of income, potential loss of house, children who have difficulty adjusting, job losses, loss of friends who I thought would be there, and no family around. So - the question of whether meds will help with grief?? - unfortunately for many of us we are dealing with other problems added to the grief. I wish now I had used meds even before my husband had died - perhaps I would have made better choices.

I would definitely talk to the doc about an alternative. I too lost my husband a little over 4 months ago but I'm also a pharmacist. I know exactly where you are coming from about not knowing whether or not to take medicine. I wanted to start an SSRI (a type of antidepressant) but I don't want stay on it forever and they can be a little difficult to stop for some people once you've been on them a while. I thought about trying a benzodiazepine but they make you feel loopy and tired. I barely get anything done as it is (hearing the dryer right now makes me feel like I have conquered the world today). I was avoiding them because I think you have to deal with your grief not numb it out with drugs. I didn't want to get on medicine, feel better and think I was through the tough part, get off them and have a nervous break down because I never dealt with anything. The only problem is now I am having what I think is the beginnings of panic attacks. Right now I am able to calm myself down if I am able to get away from people. I usually find something like a closet or bathroom where I can just close my eyes and try to control my breathing. It's starting to win though. I spend most of my days gritting my teeth because I feel panicky and taking deep breaths because I feel like I can't breath. Now I grind my teeth at night and wake up in deep sweats. Obviously I don't have a handle on it. Make sure you are going to counseling. I didn't think it would help but have found out otherwise. It's the one place I allow myself to lose my shit! It has to be someone who is a good fit for you though. If after the very first visit you don't feel like it helped, try someone new. The guy I see now made me feel better the very first time I went. It's not about them saying something genius that takes away grief but more about making you feel comfortable enough to spill your guts and making you feel like you are normal.

I take a very low dose of xanex, it helps me sleep and reduces my anxiety- I lost my husband only 5 wks. Ago and the med's just help me to calm down which I very much need at this time.
Christine

I have tried them all and finally told the doctor after he was getting fustraded with me not improving that i finally realized that there is no pill that he could give me for a broken heart,,,He didnt like my accesment to much and so i never went back...i do take a very low dose of xanax and it helps when i have anxiety...For me the one thing that worked the best is excerise and music,,those things got my mind off my sadness most of the time and just having someone in the house with me also helped...when i did take the antidepressants they only worked for a lttle while but they never helped me to learn how to deal with my grief , they just numbed it for awhile so i stopped them and started with excerise and joining this group helps in the fact that you can relate to people here going thru the same thing as you are and they can comfort you like no one else. can...its a long hard journey but with God.s help and good friends you will make it thru, there are no shortcuts though...
God,s Blessing to you....Diann

This is all so interesting. My husband died almost 4 months ago and I'm on Remeron for depression and (this would be laughable to hard core Xanax users) 1/4th of .25 mg. Xanax. I disagree that the antidepressants will mask the grief. Not true at least with me. I spent all weekend crying and I still can't walk past his pictures so tell me my grief is being masked. I take the Remeron for help with sleeping. I cannot sleep. It's that simple. I tried everything and I mean everything and Remeron is the only thing that has helped. The Xanax I take if I get panicky which I do on occasion. I am most definitely dealing with my grief, it is with me every waking moment and sometimes even sleeping moments. I'm not a zombie nor am I sleepy during the day. I see a psychiatrist for issues other than my husband's death and she has been very helpful. Your doctor is the only one who can evaluate your condition but please don't think that antidepressants and anxiety meds are all bad. The misuse of them is bad but they don't have to be misused.

I did take and antidepressant for 2 months after my husband died 14 months ago. It helped me get moving but it really didn't make me feel any better. I agree with those who say that it's between you and your M.D.

I am fully aware that any medicaction will not take the pain away. nor is it masking my grief i still cry every day. i felt i needed to take something as i couldn't keep going to work crying my eyes out and feeling the lowest of the low i couldn't even get out of bed most days. i plan to only take them for a short while as they have helped me in some way, not to help me with my broken heart but just so i can face the day and maybe actually attend a full day at work. i have now seen my doctor and she has lowered my dose and made me a chart for when i ease myself off them. and thankfully for the moment i have not had any more panic attacks.
Thanks all 4 your comments, warm hugs

I have to agree with work with your docotor. These threads on meds always make me start questioning mine and cause me even more anxiety. I have been on xanax half my life due to vestibular damage. Without them I cannot stand up straight at all, my world just spins.

When I read these threads I get worried about taking medication again and start questioning my doctors who reassure me once again the disease I have.

People really do have health issues that need medication and panic attacks is a realy issue. Even with my medication I have had them now with the death of my spouse which xanax is not helping. I was told I had a nervous breakdown last week and I need to sleep to recover. Please listen to your doctor and just tell him yoru tired (I was when I first started my medicaiton also) but felt better after two weeks. Your doc might lower the dose if it continues.

Do what you need to do. it is a very personal experience for all of us and some of us are stronger, or have other issues. God bless