I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. I'm sure Norm would approve!
By springtime you may be up for the cruise. It would be great to get away from it all and let some one else make your bed and cook the meals. You could make that as one of your goals, to go on a cruise with friends and have some fun.

You MUST enjoy all that you can. There is no need to feel guilty - your love would be the first one to want to see you happy! If you can manage even one little smile a day, you will be helping yourself towards feeling better. And why should you not?? The sun still shines, puppies still play...Life will be full of little happinesses long after we have all moved on.Take those moments and joy in them!!

I'm at 6 months and I have had a few good outings. After some i cried on the way home and others I had bad follow up days. But either way we need to keep trying with the hope each time it gets better. None of us want to be doing this but it's all we have.
Russ

Glad you had a great time out and was able to relax. It's all one moment at a time. God Bless Susan

I am pleased you had a good time and a good few laughs, even though slightly alcohol fuelled. I am sure Norm would want to see you happy. It is good to have release from time to time.

All the best.

Thank you all...you've helped lessen my guilt of having some real laughs...many people were surprised to see me out...I have kept track of some of them thru Facebook over the years, but not had real interaction with them...
I did o-kay yesterday, I stayed busy all day with laundry, and actually made a real dinner - the kind Norm used to make for me...Its never as good as what he made, but it kept my mind busy...It was lonely eating it with out him being there to give his opinion about it, telling me what he would have done differently...
Today I feel sad...maybe it is my Sunday sadness, coming a day later...maybe it is cuz it is rainy & gloomy out...maybe it is cuz I am at work (lol!)...at any rate I am really missing him today...
I knew it would hit again...I never expected 1 nite out to change anything, but it was a big step for me, and I survived it!! I think it is o-kay for me to go back in my caccoon for a while till I feel like I can venture out again...
but on a side note - (I have to tell someone) - there was a man who used to come into my prev office many yrs ago...he was there Saturday nite...he bought me a drink (I don't think I have ever had a man buy me a drink before), we talked a little bit - (I am SO NOT ready for anything in that kind of way - the thought does not even ever cross my mind)...anyway, he mentioned how great I looked, (I guess it was nice of him), and told me he was divorced, and no longer on drugs or drinking heavily (yet he was at the bar? but only had a couple beers), anyway, I asked about work (at least he does work-family seawall business), I told him where I work now...told me he has a 16 yr old son, blah, blah, blah...then he asked "the question"...do you have a boyfriend? - I really was not sure how to answer...I have not been asked that since Norm passed...I paused, and said, yes, but he died 5 1/2 mths ago, he asked if it was from drugs (the town I grew up in has recently had a lot of Drug overdoses, and heroin is apparently a big thing in that area-but since I don't hang out with those people, or really get out much for that matter, I don't encounter that type of thing)...I told him it was cancer, and he told me he was sorry to hear that, we talked a little more, and parted ways...soon after that he left...which was fine with me...Its not like I was there trying to pick up a man...But it has made me wonder...is that the reaction I will always get?? are we like "damaged goods"...it sorta made me feel like a leper (not to offend anyone who has leprosy)...but I wonder if we/I have that stigma now??? any thoughts??
I may have to pose this question again as a new topic, to see what others think...