Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
well-tonight (actually yesterday) I actually went out had some drinks, and some laughs...I went with my best friend since elementary school (who has been helping me thru these last 5 1/2 mths since Norm died, to a surprise 40th B-day party for a friend I knew since Jr high school...I seen a few friends I hadn't seen in 20 yrs...after the hugs (with the quiet "I'm sorry in my ear), I actually had a decent time...but I have to admit-I am really not much of a drinker, and they introduced me to something called "mini-beers", I am not sure what they were - or how many I had, but they were really good...I had some laughs with old friends...they want me to do a "girls" vacation with them next spring...I am not saying that I am up for all that, but tonight went way better than I expected...I was really nervous about it as it got closer,...but I survived it...we even closed the bar (only the second time in my life that I have ever done that!)
Yes - I wish Norm was here so I could have come home and told him about my night...this was the first time I was not on pins & needles since I left my house till I got home, thinking that I should not be out...
I am glad I have all of you to share this with!! You know that's huge!! really HUGE!! (even though I had so much anxiety inside of me before I left I thought I was gonna be sick)
I hope tonight was not a one of those "hills", and I don't wake up tomorrow in a "valley"....
Thank you for letting me share my news with you!!
Good Nite & peace to you all!!
Ann
Yes - I wish Norm was here so I could have come home and told him about my night...this was the first time I was not on pins & needles since I left my house till I got home, thinking that I should not be out...
I am glad I have all of you to share this with!! You know that's huge!! really HUGE!! (even though I had so much anxiety inside of me before I left I thought I was gonna be sick)
I hope tonight was not a one of those "hills", and I don't wake up tomorrow in a "valley"....
Thank you for letting me share my news with you!!
Good Nite & peace to you all!!
Ann
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
By springtime you may be up for the cruise. It would be great to get away from it all and let some one else make your bed and cook the meals. You could make that as one of your goals, to go on a cruise with friends and have some fun.
Russ
All the best.
I did o-kay yesterday, I stayed busy all day with laundry, and actually made a real dinner - the kind Norm used to make for me...Its never as good as what he made, but it kept my mind busy...It was lonely eating it with out him being there to give his opinion about it, telling me what he would have done differently...
Today I feel sad...maybe it is my Sunday sadness, coming a day later...maybe it is cuz it is rainy & gloomy out...maybe it is cuz I am at work (lol!)...at any rate I am really missing him today...
I knew it would hit again...I never expected 1 nite out to change anything, but it was a big step for me, and I survived it!! I think it is o-kay for me to go back in my caccoon for a while till I feel like I can venture out again...
but on a side note - (I have to tell someone) - there was a man who used to come into my prev office many yrs ago...he was there Saturday nite...he bought me a drink (I don't think I have ever had a man buy me a drink before), we talked a little bit - (I am SO NOT ready for anything in that kind of way - the thought does not even ever cross my mind)...anyway, he mentioned how great I looked, (I guess it was nice of him), and told me he was divorced, and no longer on drugs or drinking heavily (yet he was at the bar? but only had a couple beers), anyway, I asked about work (at least he does work-family seawall business), I told him where I work now...told me he has a 16 yr old son, blah, blah, blah...then he asked "the question"...do you have a boyfriend? - I really was not sure how to answer...I have not been asked that since Norm passed...I paused, and said, yes, but he died 5 1/2 mths ago, he asked if it was from drugs (the town I grew up in has recently had a lot of Drug overdoses, and heroin is apparently a big thing in that area-but since I don't hang out with those people, or really get out much for that matter, I don't encounter that type of thing)...I told him it was cancer, and he told me he was sorry to hear that, we talked a little more, and parted ways...soon after that he left...which was fine with me...Its not like I was there trying to pick up a man...But it has made me wonder...is that the reaction I will always get?? are we like "damaged goods"...it sorta made me feel like a leper (not to offend anyone who has leprosy)...but I wonder if we/I have that stigma now??? any thoughts??
I may have to pose this question again as a new topic, to see what others think...