Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband Ray: He was a breath of fresh air to me. I value his mind, intelligence, and his passionate interest in history.
He was very lucky to have a father that he spoke of often, who instilled qualities that today, many negelct.
Yes, he had opinions and strong positions on almost everything, but that also gave him a presence that made me think. I didn't always agree with him, but that didn't matter to me.
I hope that he is up in heaven sorting other people out.
As you start to reflect on what the relationship was and wasn't, take it with a post it. It doesn't mean any more or any less, but you will start to look at some things with a new set of eyes. Those kind of eye openers or (more) consious realizations will smooth out with time, but might be ups and downs right now.
Fortunately you often have the "it is what it is" approach to life, which I think will help keep your feet moving in a new direction. But it will be like a stroke victim for a while, 2 steps forward 1 step back-not in a straight line...
Which is normal!
The very hardest part to my mind is getting use to the physical absence. Too bad that you can't wire the hosue with speakers, or Ray making pronouncements!
Try to remind yourself what you are good at, what the good parts of the relationship were, what he gave to you that makes you who you are today. Most importnatly, think of yourself in an almost selfish way. You are the survivor, and do whatever you have to do to survive. He was probley more dependenet upon you than you realize.
These words were written to me from my dear friend Cindy who is also a Mensa Memeber like my husband. They liked to discuss on deep levels! A few phrases will connect with others and I wanted to share..
He was very lucky to have a father that he spoke of often, who instilled qualities that today, many negelct.
Yes, he had opinions and strong positions on almost everything, but that also gave him a presence that made me think. I didn't always agree with him, but that didn't matter to me.
I hope that he is up in heaven sorting other people out.
As you start to reflect on what the relationship was and wasn't, take it with a post it. It doesn't mean any more or any less, but you will start to look at some things with a new set of eyes. Those kind of eye openers or (more) consious realizations will smooth out with time, but might be ups and downs right now.
Fortunately you often have the "it is what it is" approach to life, which I think will help keep your feet moving in a new direction. But it will be like a stroke victim for a while, 2 steps forward 1 step back-not in a straight line...
Which is normal!
The very hardest part to my mind is getting use to the physical absence. Too bad that you can't wire the hosue with speakers, or Ray making pronouncements!
Try to remind yourself what you are good at, what the good parts of the relationship were, what he gave to you that makes you who you are today. Most importnatly, think of yourself in an almost selfish way. You are the survivor, and do whatever you have to do to survive. He was probley more dependenet upon you than you realize.
These words were written to me from my dear friend Cindy who is also a Mensa Memeber like my husband. They liked to discuss on deep levels! A few phrases will connect with others and I wanted to share..
Take care! And be good to yourself!
It's not re-incarnation because that would imply that we may come back as a lesser being [i.e. plant/animal], we come back as another human being To do it all over again in a different way.
Ray is living on as another person. I'm sure you've met someone in your life and said to yourself, "I've met you before, I just know it!" Well, you probably have, in another life!
Ray and you may meet again or maybe not.
I know, for sure, that Morey is on a farm in the South, doing what he always wanted to do; have lots of land, lots of animals and go fishing down by the pond whenever the urge hit him. I'm happy for him.
Bad people may get a chance to come back and do it over again but I do believe that the misery they created on earth will be punished in the next life.
Good people like Morey and Ray will have a chance to live out their fondest dreams.
So, go, enjoy the life you were given and make the very most of it!!!!
Roz