I'm having a huge Pity party here all by myself today. I remembered that last 4th was the last holiday Michael & I shared. And I have nowhere to go today & no one to do anything with.
Hope you have a good day with your family.
Hugs,
Nancy

I did, too, so don't feel bad. It's that old holidays-and-special-days thing popping up again. We used to do the parade every year - I used to make banners and floats and the whole nine yards. It was a big deal in the town where my kids were born. It's like another life to think back on that.

I hope all my friends in the USA will try to have a grand 4th of July - obviously they aren't celebrating it where I am! (England) So fire up the bbq, have a cold beer, say a prayer for all our friends, and ooh and aaahhh extra loud at the fireworks on my behalf - wish I could join you!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

My pity party started last night. Mu husband loved
to grill wonderful food and gather everyone for a party, I so miss those days. We didn't know how good we had it until it is gone. I am going to my brothers's house, my daughter and her family are coming in so I will put on the face too. My 16 month old grandson is the light of my life. We continue this journey of two steps forward, one back. Holidays are all such triggers.

My first 4th alone as well. Just me. I am sure we would have had the grill out and probably enjoyed just sitting outdoors. The weather here is so nice. So frustrating not to have her here to enjoy the day with. Peace to all of you.
Mark

Yeah, I'm trying to pretend it's just another day, too. A year ago yesterday an older (59) brother-in-law died, and today would be my husband's birthday (should be 57). We didn't celebrate last year because I sent him down to MD for final visit.

Not impressed with holidays any more.
-Judy

I have also been having a pity party today. Have spend the day alone with the 2 cats we adopted shortly before my husband Mark passed away. I think of past holidays with family, traveling, then his sickness making travel too hard, but at least we were together. Went to a movie so I'd be among people, but even that was sad. This dreary weather is not helping. We had no children and I have no family under 450 miles away. Who would have thought my life would be this way at 54?

I woke up at my RV that I have parked in Albuquerque and went for a bike ride but had to go back to have a good cry - I got a handout at bereavement group last night which said holidays are going to be hard. It just hit me that Rick would have been riding his bike with me, no more BBQ with him ever again, etc. I'm only at 2-1/2 mos. and the finality is hitting me. So I've been weepy all day to the point of wrapping myself in his bathrobe and taking a nap which I never do. I will go to girlfriend's 7:30PM for dinner and fireworks if the rain stops. This is tough, glad you're all there. Lesley

I got dressed this morning. Thought I might go out on errands. I haven't left the house. I've watched lots of tv and cried. Thinking last year my husband and I were together, sharing a very sad time with death of family member, but we were together facing it. My husband died only a little over a month ago. The on again off again crying - just wears you out. I miss him.

I have forced myself to clean house today (between crying and sobbing) trying to avoid the fact "we" won't be grilling steaks tonight and sitting on the back deck with a drink watching fireworks across the pasture. Thank you DS friends, at least I won't be at the Pity Party alone. Hugs and love to all-Jewley

Oh my Goodness, what is it about today?
I woke up knowing I'd be alone today. Thought about all the great
4ths we had with family, BBQ etc. Cried so much tonight.
I hate being alone and eating alone and putting on a happy face.
Just being alone together was great! This is so awful.
Most if the time I'm ok. I know tomorrow will be better.
But I hate my life today!
Sorry , u r the only people I can say that to.
Maureen

Me too. On our last 4th of July together we waited until nightfall then rode our bikes into the small town north of us. All along the bike path we saw fireworks going off on the farms in the country.. It was beautiful. I took the neighbor boy to the fireworks at the fairgrounds last night, did a little tutoring today, but otherwise I've been very blah all day like everyone else here. Oh well, at least I'm in good company.

July 4, 1981 33 years ago is when we moved into our house in the country that my husband always wanted. Having a large family and extended family and living in New Hampshire -snowstorms --so we always had a BIG family get together on the 4th to celebrate Christmas birthdays, like my Mom's June 27th and she passed May 29,2012 and then the 4th. The past few years weren't very big and then this year NOTHING!!!!! such a sad day full of tears from the sky. (aka hurricane Arthur-)-- My husband so loved being here and I just couldn't do anything.....

It sounds like my 4th of July pity party had lots of company. I thought it would be ok, because it's also my sister's birthday. But I was sad and quiet at the family party. Everyone's spouse was there except mine. For the last few years we went camping in our motorhome over the 4th of July weekend. How I miss that. Just looking at my big empty driveway(where the motorhome used to be) makes my heart ache.

Hey everyone. Yesterday was soooo hard for me too. I am so sorry for you all dear ones. I wondered how you all were doing yesterday.
I remembered the last 4th w my Frankie. Grilling out w friends talking about baseball and eating lots of food and just loving the day. We always ended every day ( even before cancer trust me, this is how I have so many kiddos lol) in one another's arms. It was tradition though to go to sleep on his chest listening to his heartbeat while he watched baseball. Listening to his precious heart beating faster as he got excited about a particular play during the game... Drifting in and out of sleep feeling the warmth of his skin and feeling safe, safe.... Only man in the world who ever made me feel safe. Not my Dad, certainly not him, not my x husband, not any other man... Ever.
Yesterday I was alone with four little ones determined to make the est of the day. I took them to Chick fil a we went in and sat down they were happy. I could barely smile. I couldn't eat my food. All I saw were Daddy's and Mommy's together with their families. My eyes filled with tears as I sat quietly listening to the little ones and trying not to cry.
We then went to a local farm for festivities, big jumpy water slides and lots of food and a band. They played and played. I manages two and a half hours there, I couldn't stand it anymore. Again there were Daddy's everywhere, we were alone. We all began to miss him. We left went to the store and bought cupcakes came home and I fed them and bathed them. We rested a bit then at 9 I decided that I would do what we would do if Daddy were here so we left to find fireworks and came home late, kids were excited and thrilled. I put them to bed and cried myself to sleep.
I am so sorry for us all, for our intense pain all the time every day
God Bless us all
Cindy

I too had a rough time this weekend. I would have liked to just stay home and cry, but then you have your family members who just don't understand why you don't want to picnic, & be with your family, etc. I also had a baby shower today for my niece. This will make me a first time Great Aunt. The shower was also hard, because this particular niece I know was sort of like my husband's favorite. If he were here, he would be joking with my niece & she would be laughing at all his jokes. He would be so happy to know she is having a baby. My family also went to a baseball game this evening. I wasn't going to go but I felt bad that my brother got all these tickets so I felt obligated. 1 of my 3 daughters went. My other 2 stayed home. I made it thru about an hour & then had to leave. I felt so bad but I could feel the tears coming. Sitting at a baseball game without my husband just wasn't much fun. I rushed out & once out side the gates of the ballpark, the tears poured out.

So that I went on & on (as I always seem to do) Didn't mean to get off track. Just trying to say that it sounds like a lot of us had pity parties. Lets see, the next holiday will be what? I know for me it will, or would have been, our 30th wedding anniversary in August. I can hardly wait. I think I will stay home that day.