Things have been ok the past month since I lost my fiance, until recently. I am so sad thinking about my future. About what I'm going to be doing, even a month from now. Each time I do, I break down and cry. I feel depressed because I feel I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Everything I had is now gone. I'm trying to be positive, and think that he wouldn't want to see me like this, but it's hard because I'm not supposed to be alone. I know I can't think like that, but it's hard not to. He was my whole life, my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my other half. I feel so incomplete without him. I wish I could get out of this rut, I have support but feel it's not enough to help. I don't want to do anything to myself, I just want to feel happy again, to be able to look towards the future again. I live day by day, not making plans, just taking the day as it comes. I miss him more than ever especially with the holidays coming up, and knowing I'm getting the autopsy results soon. I know that had to be a factor as to why I'm so down lately, I just need to really vent. I cam confide on people, but here I feel like I cam completely let it out without judgement, or think my family worries too much.