Hi Edith: I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my love Nov 21, 2010 so we are both around the same timeline. Also, I live in the north - Southern Ontario so can and do experience the long long dark months of winter. Last year when this journey was all so new - I was able to visit a sister in Florida twice - January and March which helped with the cold and dark and loneliness. But the other strategy which I employed was I went to the gym 2 - 3 times / week. Please don't think I am a thin, fit person - I AM NOT - I am overweight, arthritic knees etc however my doctor stressed that going would help with my "seratonin levels" which I must say it did. I made an apptmt with a trainer and that was sometimes the only thing I did during the week but it really helped. If I stopped exercising - I found that I was much more depressed. I also did try to see people who understood (family members and close friends).

I don't have any real hobbies which I realize I must try and find because I am alone a lot since my part time job ended.

The important thing is to get out and try walking when the sun shines etc. and being around people usually helps.

I hope some of the other members have some other ideas for coping during the winter.

Thinking of you. Take care, emily

Hi, last year I went through that winter alone for the first time also. Melvin died in late September but I stayed with my daughter and her family until after Thanksgiving. I remember going home was almost like reliving everything all over again. I worried about everything. I worried about getting someone responsible to plow my drive. I worried what if this and what if that. It was very hard. As you know last years winter in Ohio was awful. I pray and hope this year is not as bad. It was indeed lonely as you well know. I was so new to the grief journey that most of the time I spent just sitting and not engaging in much of anything. I returned to work after Thanksgiving so that filled my days during the week. The evenings were the worse. I plan to read a lot and I have my little puppy to keep me busy. I am not as afraid as last year but not quite comfortable with the thought yet. I have promised myself I will do all I can to get out when I can and try living again. Its a scary thought but I owe it to his memory as well as myself to give it a try.

Prayers for comfort for you and sending a big hug
Anne

So sorry for your loss. I made it through two bad winters here in Wisconsin. With the help of my neighbors I made it through. I also had no electricity for 26 hours n the middle of a blizzard. If I can get through that I can get through anything, A new snowfall is peaceful to me. I actually like winter except for the driving.

I am one of the few who enjoys winter! I lov the snow and hearing the words "Snow Days" since I am a teacher! Nothing like staying warm and snuyggloy in the bed and then getting up andmaking soup or chili!

As for keeping busy: I do watch tv. There are lots of shows wihout the things you mentioned. You can also rent movies. And read or work on a project. My mother enjoys putting together huge puzzles. (i don;t have the patience for that!)

Brian passed away on January 25, 2011 and I spent my first weeks in the dead of winter, but I don't remember how I managed. This year, I've bought a new TV (Love reality TV) and I got a new DVR for HDTV and an internet box to download on Demand movies/shows. I do cross stitch and I'm hoping to get back into that this winter as I stitch more in the winter than in the summer.

I've always enjoyed winter because I can work from home if I want to or just take the day off. I haven't taken much leave this year and plan on those snowy days to just stay home and relax. Now whether this will work, only time will tell.

Nessie from KY

KyNessie; I love reality tv also! I am excited that Top Chef returns this week! One of the chefs is from Louisville and is an excellent chef! I hope he goes far!

I also admit to a weakness for Survivor and Amazing Race! OUr favorite show was Amazing Race and we watched it each week! It was fun to see the places they went. A few times it was to places we had toured!

And the guilty pleasure....All of the Housewives! Frank hated them...but it's an addiction once you start watching them!

First I am sorry for your loss.

I came through last winter in the mountainous area of PNW alone for first time. I have to admit I hibernated alot. I like the snow (coming from rural Montana) but alone not so much.

1) I started my scrapbooking again alittle at a time tried doing children but got into doing one in memory of my husband - kept at it it made me feel good - he passed away unexpectedly July 31, 2010.
2) I did turn tv on (radio does not do good up here) but mostly for the noise. Had my news/and couple favorite shows but I did read alot something I had never had time for before my loss
3) I also put away things that needed attending to but not just his things- things in our home that needed downsizing those things you were always gonna do I DID
It was hard for me to go places being alone at that time made me more lonelier going out to places with lots of people. ITs easier now but still has its moments.
4) I normally did not cook but decided to try recipes out - threw alot out not because it was bad tasting just did not eat much - deer loved it the most....
5) I put photo albums together (still working on that) so when I leave this earth each kid gets his photos.....
I had things laid all over of scrap/photo stuff during that time

I wish you the best - its tough I know so hugs

All i can say is find your favorite music, turn in on full blast and clean your house. invite friends over for soup lunch. Go for a ride at the first snowfall. Make a family cookbook and include who gave you the recipes and ad a little note about that family member. Those are some of the best gifts I have. Just get the mind set that WInter, your not gonna get me down! I'm only 5 months into the loss of my best friend and lover of 35 years, but I'm a fighter and I'm not gonna let winter win Look at this that it's your fight and your gonna come out Number One.l!!! I know you can do it! Hugs to you.

The first year after Cliff died, I couldn't watch any regular television. It was all painful - either too gorey and violent or involved love stories, which I found very hard to get through. Also, Cliff died in November, and all those "heart-warming specials" they show during the holidays just made me that more anguished at my loss - the holidays would never be the same without Cliff. My kids felt the same way.

So, instead, we started taking DVDs out from the library. That way we had control over what we watched and we could pick and choose. I introduced my kids to the original Star Trek and we watched all the episodes of that. We also watched probably every action-adventure movie (like Indiana Jones, James Bond, Bourne Identity) and every World War II movie ever made. I have to admit that sometimes I would fall asleep on the couch when me and my sons did that, but that was the only real relaxed sleep I got at times. So check out the DVD collection at your library. At our library, taking out DVDs and music CDs were FREE. (So the price was right!)

I have a lot of craft hobbies -always have - all the girls in my family were raised that way. I have done a lot of sewing and a lot of beadwork. That helps. If you like doing needlework, you might check out Project Linus - volunteers make blankets and quilts for ill children. It's a good charity, and you might enjoy that kind of volunteer work. Here is their website:

http://www.projectlinus.org/

JoAnn's and Michael's have one day craft classes, too, which aren't real pricey, and you can learn a new hobby or brush up on an old one.

Hope this helps. Love and Hugs, Martha

P.S. - There is also a website for Project Linus in the UK:

http://projectlinusuk.org.uk/

Hugs.....

Thanks to all of you! I just might make it. Now, just a warning, but I'll probably be on DS a lot too....

I dont have advice, but thinking about winter reminds me of my cold bed, and driving alone on the ice, that scares me stupid - even just having to scrape my windshield! G-

There are lots of good ideas here. I thought of good movies. You can buy movies pretty cheap now if they've been out for a couple years or more. I stock up on them so I always have one available when I go camping alone. There is NOTHING to do after dark when you are camping, so watching a good movie is something I prepare for with a portable DVD player. I always pick a GOOD movie, a feel good movie, like Forrest Gump, to watch. Even though I've seen it many times, I get sucked right back into it like it's brand new every time I watch it. Other good movies I like are Pretty Woman, Speed, Dances With Wolves, Angels With Us, Where the Heart Is, Places in the Heart, Cast Away, Airport, Born Free, etc.

Like I need to be reminded winter is coming...time to get the snow blower checked out. Winter means snow days. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. Good that I don't have to drive kids to school and bad that there are three more home that day. I also have my dad's dog, Lela at my house for a while. Dogs need to be walked...even in the snow and I am not a dog person or an outdoor person. This will be fun. Let it snow!

Maggie