I figure that God needed him more than me. My Jim was here for a reason and he left for a reason. It's the only way I can look at it. I am sorry you are having a hard time with this. It's so early in your grief.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't try to understand it, its God's way not ours. I have never been mad at God for taking my husband. I'm not happy about it........ but he was his before he was mine. He created him and he knows best. Just do the best you can living day by day until it gets easier. It will never be the same but you will learn to live with it.
My husband was only 66, we were married 40 yrs. I miss him everyday.
Hugs,
JoAnn

Your question is a fair one and one many of us ask. When my wife was rushed to the hospital Christmas day 2013 by ambulance I put her in Gods hands not expecting she would pass 9 days later. I was so angry and hurt that she endured 6 months of cancer, radiation, surgery etc only to pass at 56. After many many months of heated conversations with God about how hurt and disappointed I was did I finally realize I either have to walk with God and trust him or turn my back on him. The day I decided to surrender myself to him was the day peace gradually started to fill my heart. I still have rough days and periods but walking with him makes the road so much easier. Will we ever know why? Only God has that answer. I can only answer one thing for sure. I have been challenged in many ways in the last 2 years and it is only through God that I am still standing. Wishing you only the best. Gerry

I am so very sorry for your loss.
You are not alone. We all understand your pain. You are very early in your grief.

I believe God has a plan for each of us, and I have to trust Him.
One day we'll have our questions answered, and we'll understand.
But right now we need to have faith.

Hugs,
Janie

At the stage of loss you are at struggling with this is common. It's hard to understand the death of people we love. For me, now with years to come to terms with the loss of my husband I realize that the strength of our faith lies in the trust we have in our Lord to always have our best interests, even when we are praying for something else. One of the difficult parts of faith is not when we are receiving His blessings, but when we are hurt and fallen into painful situations. I constantly remind myself that I work for the glory of God. He isn't here to fulfill our desires, we are to fulfill His.

One of the ways your friends can see what God has done is in your trust in His power to carry you through these difficult days ahead. Will you ever know why? Perhaps, it may be revealed to you, but not always. Kinda like the old hymn, "Trust and Obey.". Sharon

I'm new at this as well. I really don't ask why God took him. I already know that answer. Because God needed him more than I did. God blessed us with the time that we had together and I'm grateful for that even though I do get mad the past few days. I'm not mad at God at all. I am a firm believer that God has a plan even if we don't understand it and I just have to accept that. (((HUGS)))

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had an answer to your question but I dont.
Here is how I have come to believe.
When we pray for God to heal a loved one, it is the timing of events that we are asking to be changed. Not now Lord, please not now. We understand that we are all going to die someday, but yet we still pray for events to change. God hears our prayers and provides everything we need. We live in a linear world that is defined by the passage of time. God is the beginning and the end all at the same time. He is the same today as He ever was and He will always be. In that way the first prayer you ever said is just as fresh as your most recent prayer. It is only natural that we cannot understand Gods ways.
Isaiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As a student of Buddhist philosophy, I have always found the Buddha's last words to be a simple explanation. Simply stated: "All things must pass,"

We will all pass away eventually as part of the natural process of birth, growth, and death, and we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life.
To a Buddhist, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life. Our spirit will remain, and seek out a new body and new life. And the process will begin once again.

My wife of 50 years died 22 months ago after a 12-year struggle with cancer. It is painful to not have her here with me, and I do not understand the 'why' of it all. Personally, I'm not certain that the 'why' is really that important.
Her physical body has gone the way of all things, but I take joy in the fact that I was privileged to have been a part of her life, and solace in the thought that her beautiful spirit continues on in this world.

We must all find our own way to accept that which we cannot change, acknowledge our own impermanence, and find peace and happiness in our life--even though we don't have all the answers.

You are at the beginning of this journey, and are asking the questions that we have all asked ourselves at some point. Just be kind to yourself, and be assured that this too shall pass.

My thoughts, anyway.

John

I understand why you are searching for answers to why your dear husband has passed on. You had so many plans, he was young, you had so much more to do together. You feel cheated, as a believer, who had so many people praying for your husband to be healed.
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
The question you have is relevant but you may never know the answer.
I know when I was faced with the same question and thoughts, I prayed and asked God to direct my path. I searched my Bible.
Proverbs 3:5,6 tells us To trust in The Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding....
Isaiah 55:8 for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither my ways your ways..
Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith The Lord,thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
The more I searched God's Word, the more I received peace which passes all understanding.. I trust The Lord with all my heart .Who am I to question God's awesome sovereignty. He created the Universe.
If you attend church, it would be wise to seek your pastors spiritual guidance. These are profound spiritual thoughts you have, which Only
Prayer and wisdom can lead you to a place of peace.
Peace, love and hope to you during this painful time,
Sandra.

I am sorry for your loss. I was taught, when you are born, your life is in Gods book. He knows the date and time of your death. No one else knows. What you do with this time is up to you.
My husband cheated death for many years. When he was 50 he had cancer, to which Drs gave him 2 months to live. He had surgery, then no more cancer. 53, had a heart attack, they lost him in surgery, got him back. at 60, AAA, you usually bleed out In minutes, he got through that, at 65, another AAA, during surgery, he had a stroke. Survived all that.... It was NOT his time..66.Then he lost his mind, brain was shrinking, he got down to 59 pounds. They couldn't find anything wrong with him. For 5 weeks they tested, checked everything. Then he went into Sudden Cardiac Arrest in the hospital. And he was gone. It WAS his time!

This is why I think your time is all Gods decision... Not ours. Sandee

Funny, but I'm reading a book a friend just gave me that's trying to answer that question. If I'm understanding it right it's saying God didn't take our loved ones. We all die because there is sin in the world. But he is here to help us through it. It's complicated because we know He has the power to heal and like you said there's people out there "waiting to see what He'll do". I was watching Joel Osteen on Sunday and he too was talking about traveling through the valley of the shadow of death. He explained it much better than I can. So many times we felt the power of prayer bringing PJ through crises only to lose him in the end at the young age of 58. I guess we'll only finally get the answer when we join them too. Holding you close, Liz

I had learnt a long time ago not to ask God to grant me what I wanted because He knows what is best for me. Therefore during my husband's illness I would ask Him to give me the strength to carry out His will - not mine. It was not easy to pray for that and mean it 100% all the time! The moment of his death was the most beautiful, peaceful, almost happy moment of all. I could feel love in the room and like an "energy" or force leaving from atop the head of my hubby. It was amazing. As it was happening I was smiling and crying and telling him, yes my love go to the light, I will be fine. I just knew I would be - one day After that when I too questioned why him (he was 52 - he was fit, tall, handsome, super healthy until the brain tumor showed up and we were going to circumnavigate the world in our sailboat in 2013 - he died in 2011) and not me. I was the one with the faith and all... and then the answer I came up with, which suits me just fine, is simply that God decided to take the strongest one to be on the other side to welcome me and our family when our time comes. He was needed on the other side. I believe that because less than a year after his death when I was having such a difficult time he appeared to me in a dream. In a nutshell, he was telling me to let him go, that he was busy. I said what do you mean you are busy??? And he replied I have to go my mother is waiting for me (she had passed six years prior). And I told him I needed him so much and I missed him so much. He just repeated to me over and over, let me go. I did. He never came to me again. So I try to take care of myself and the family on "this side" and my love takes care on the other side. He is more powerful than me in every way. Do hang in there. There are no easy answers to that big question. Hopefully, one answer one day will help you in your pain. Big virtual hug, Driftersoul

Driftersoul~That is one of the most beautiful posts I have read here on DS. Could mirror my/our experience. Thank you so much for sharing your holy death/perspective. My husband was also tall healthy handsome intelligent virtuous and was taken in a blink of an eye. Yet we were so blessed to be able to say good bye. For that I will always be so grateful to God. My children and I were all around his bedside praying the rosary after polishing each other and shining like diamonds as we parted and let him slip to eternity. Having watched death thru 33 years of nursing experience I/we knew what a gift we had been given to experience this holy death. Tho still in shock that after 33 years of marriage my beloved 58 yr husband could be taken out by pancreatic cancer in 7 days the despair never came and instead a serene peace has filled my soul since the hour of his death...from the very moment of his diagnosis Trustful surrender to Divine Providence has been my motto. Maybe it is mind over matter but despite the overwhelming hole and heart wrenching pain he has left in my/our life I/we will endure until we are together in eternity...b/c it simply was just our turn. Thy will be done. ... perspective

John, I love, what you wrote. I, too, believe as you do.

I may never see Morey again but I may meet someone one day and know that I've met him before......and, it won't be serendipitous it will be Morey.

After my father died, many years ago and I told a clergy person that I was so mad at God, his response was: When your father was alive did you question God, WHY, why did you make me so happy and loved by such an amazingly wonderful father? If you didn't question God when he was alive, don't question God now!

His response has served me all these years and definitely helped me when Morey passed.

So, Norske, I hope you get the peace you need to grieve and remember your DH in love and grace.

Roz

With all due respect (and I do mean that) to everyone who has replied, as I have read this post and the replies, one jumps out at me and I personally feel it is one of the simplest, most profound and accurate replies I have heard here on this subject in a long time.
And that is from Rozmorey's reply, this whole paragraph and in particular the last line.

""After my father died, many years ago and I told a clergy person that I was so mad at God, his response was: When your father was alive did you question God, WHY, why did you make me so happy and loved by such an amazingly wonderful father? If you didn't question God when he was alive, don't question God now!""

In my opinion, Roz, it couldn't have been better said !!!

Best Regards, George