Yes, Tiger1962, you can get through this. I lost my partner of 23 years on 01/16/2015. I was his caretaker for more than 6 months. He died of liver failure. He was only 52 years old. I am 70 years old. At first I felt nothing but darkness and loneliness. But, thanks to the people who post here most of that has vanished over time. Oh, we will both be lonely for a long time. I have no intention of ever having another partner. Way too old for that. So I know you will get through this terrible ordeal just like so many others have before us.

Oh tiger,
How very sorry I am for your loss. And so fresh too! I remember that the pain was so sharp in those early days that I thought I would never get through it.
But I am 23.5 months out now, and although there are days that are still extremely challenging, I am handling things much better now. You can get through this even though it won't be easy.
I have a friend in Hong kong, would you mind if I contact her and ask her to have a look round to see if she can help you find a group or some sort of support? She's a journalist so may have some contacts out there.
As for your parents situation- while I appreciate that your father needs help, you need to take care of you first before you can be strong enough to take care of others. I have two kids, and had to ask for help with them in the early days, because I was not strong enough to manage on my own. I was blessed with a group of caring friends - who I now call my angel team - that still pitch in from time to time. Remember- put your own oxygen mask on first.
And keep in touch with all of us - the people here have been wonderful support for me, so I'm certain they will be for you too.
Sending hugs,
Jacuzzi.

Dearest Tiger1962, if 1962 is your B-Day year you're young..to young for the loss you have. My husband died 1-28-15 so our journies have just begun. I start each day crying, before I even get up. The days are long and lonely, we were together 24/7 and live rural. I think the 1st year will be the hardest because they bring new fresh memories. I too am angry, my husband went through a by-pass and valve replacement surgery with a 7% non success rate. 7% and he died...he was supposted to get better. be strong, go be with your father, the 2 of you need each other and it will keep your mind busy. That's what i try and do each day, keep my mind busy. Good luck and so-so sorry for your loss.

Thanks, folks. Sorry for your losses. I try to be strong as I work full time and have many students. Jaccuzi, thanks for the offer. I have some students helping to find support. I am able to eat well, sleep about 5-6 hours with sleeping aids. I cry constantly. Everything in this house has her in it, everything.

We have all been where you are right now. Its all part the the unwanted journey. 1 step, 1 day at a time and you will make it. Its not a bit fun or even pleasant but we get through somehow. Just keep coming here, vent, cry, shout whatever it takes. We know what it like. It will get better but it takes time. Be with friends and family, get a pet for company. Visit people and keep busy try not to think.
Its just over 3 yrs for me and I still have hard days. I was so numb in the beginning, that's what helped me I think.
Hugs,
JoAnn

Tiger, you have all of us. We know what you're going through and how it feels.

I'm sorry about your mom. It seems that when life's sadness comes at us it can come all at once. Sadness has many layers and can go very deeply into our souls. You can get through all of this. It's one-day-at-a-time.

You MUST eat and sleep.......the rest will fall into place as life goes along.

I wish you peace and love,
Roz

I hope you and your father can find comfort in being together at this horrible time. Sharon

I am so sorry this has happened to you. My wife passed away 19 months ago. I was exactly your age when she did. I know that darkness very well. She is, and always will be, half of your very soul. Your world as you knew it, lies on the floor in pieces. Nothing seems real, except your pain and longing for her. Try to eat a little something, and drink plenty of water. Grief will drain you of fluids, and make you feel even worse. Take a good vitamin every day, and get as much sleep as you can manage. See your doctor to get help sleeping if you need to. My worst days were when I couldn't sleep the night before.
This is a long road you are on to recovery, but you will make it through this. When I was where you are now, I thought I would never feel better. It has been a long hard road, but very slowly, and unevenly, I am healing. We never get over losing the most important person in our lives, as some people think we do, but in time you will be able to treasure your memories of your wife, without the sharp pain you feel right now.
Remember how much she loved you, and try to put yourself in her place right now. What would you say to her, as you see her missing you, as you miss her. You would want her to feel better, and know that you are okay, and will see you again. Love is forever, there is no death. There is this painful separation, for a time, then reunion. Until then, we must try our best despite this terrible pain, to make them proud. Let out the pain as much, and as long as you need to, there is no time limit, you have earned the right to feel everything you do, for as long as you need to. Please know that it will get better, and there are so many here that will help you. This is a great group of caring people who have felt all that you are going through right now. Stay with us, and know you are never alone in your pain.

Robert

tiger my wife passed on 1-13-2015....although i feel her with me i miss her terribly maybe being in hong kong may help, my house feels so empty as well i cant sleep in our bed i dread coming here i would say home but without her i dont have a home anymore...i will tell you the people on here are wonderful and very caring, they will help you get through they have helped me...good luck and god bless you are not alone tiger

Welcome to as they say the group no one wants to belong to.
My husband as well passed from cancer. Following him were the majority of my core group of friends. I found this site much later at ten months, but the pain and feelings still very raw. The support here is the best. As you have seen, there are members from all over so someone will be around for you when you need to talk.
I know right now you think that helping your dad get through the situation of your mother's stroke may be impossible....but the distraction may actually help you. Nothing makes this kind of loss better , but helping others in pain, it helps you see that you still have worth here on this earth.

Grief diverted though, will still come when it finds an opening.
You have a journal here to use and use it. It can be private or open to others to read. That really helps getting feedback on some of the more complex feelings. If you just feel like ranting about how wrong this all seems, that's okay, it's good to have people that really understand to give you feed back or just support. You might also try to write letters to your wife, to God or yourself depending on your beliefs and by all means to us.( I believe heaven has wifi)

Many new here will see that they too are not alone, and those of here longer are assurances that we do make it through, bumped and bruised but still here. Then some will show you steps to help you through the deep water the grief can make seem like tsunami's.

Remember also that you were the best most important thing she loved...just because of who you were when you met. That person is still there inside of you and will slowly return. So far my return , a work in progress always, is getting close to the three year mark. I have made great friends here that have helped in so many ways, that only those that have walked in these shoes could.
Gentlest of hugs and prayers that you and your dad are given help though this site.
Jewells

Please excuse the Mardi gras face avi....it's for another support group that we are planning a carnival trip on the Calypso., you are welcome to check my pictures of the art I did as part therapy to deal with the complex ways that losing my John effected me.

My heart and prayers,
Jewells.