Left alone 1, You and I have something in common. I am also 59 ,male and just recently lost my wife to Parkinson's. The lonely I can definitely relate with. This group can help If you want it. It seems that you still don't believe that she is gone. If you could leave a little more in your posts it might help you to let some of those feelings out. Mine I lost late September and after 36 years married I was crushed. Saw it coming but you can't prepare yourself for this kind of loss. We as a group can help. Mostly important is that I found out I am not alone in what I am going through. I have found comfort in that. I feel for your loss and wish you to continue chatting . We all need to know we are not alone.

LEFTalone1, I went through the looking and waiting after my husband passed on too. I'm still looking and waiting, and he visits when he can, but not so much was it so at the first wave of it all. In time you will learn which emotions to trust. I feel for you and I'm sorry that you are lonely.

@Samwise, it is true that we are not alone. Bless your thoughts. A man to man perspective is still much better than any female can do with feelings. I can only share what I've felt like as a woman, with grief for a man I'll always love and treasure; however, much of what's straining us is still the same or in common with our grief. It hurts.

Best of the day to both of you.

The pain and loneliness are gripping and overwhelming at times, seemingly all of the time. Suddenly she is gone and you are alone. I know that feeling all too well. You've never been there before and now have to somehow adapt to what therapists like to call "the new normal". New Normal?! How about New Abnormal?! Give yourself time to absorb as best you can the devastation of this loss in your life. Let yourself fall to pieces if need be. There will be plenty of time to pick up the pieces, and you will find that you can. It probably doesn't appear that way now, but there is light even at the end of a very long tunnel.

Slivers of light is how i saw my life after my husband died .I remember feeling that...it will be 5 years this March 2021. I am still here and i am not sure why but i do find moments of happiness. You will learn how to cope just allow yourself time. I have changed since he died . I kept a diary of my feelings so as to look back on and see how i have changed and sometimes i forget to be grateful for anything i still have in my life but when depressed i cling to that feeling. Take it Easy one day at a time.(Hugs)

I lost my husband 18 almost 19 months ago...I have only just stopped listening for him in the house, listening for his car coming into the driveway after work..Its a very real thing ..
You will in time stop looking...stop listening for but give yourself the time and to heal in your own time...and no one elses timetable..
One day at a time....