Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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loveddogs 10/30/2015

Yesterday was and eventful day to say the least. Lack of sleep never helps. My mind is doing crap it's never done. Can't get organized. I am a terrible procrastinator anyway, but this was rediculous. I was sitting here thinking of what I needed to do for the day. I need to pay the light bill. I hear something outside the house. It's the electric department shutting off my power. Guess I paid the gas company twice and not the electric company. No the guy wouldn't take a check so off I go. The electric department wouldn't take a check either. So I head for the bank to take cash out and back to the utilites dept. And my phone is dead and the pups chewed through my charger cord, so I could'nt call anyone and didn't have power to charge it anyway. Ok, I will be without power till later so I take my husband's truck in to tire company. Have had front two tires losing air for far too long. Well of course one is ruined so had to buy another one, the other one they could repair. But on my way the heat gage is sending a warning. So I pick up another charger and I head home ever so gently and fill radiator with aniti freeze. The power was back on when I arrived and I just sat down a balled likke a baby. My brain is non functioning, And I miss him so. But I have lights again. I need to get my poop in a group. I can laugh about it now, but it's just a reminder of how lonely life is without him. And nothing can ever happen individually, it all just comes dumping at the same time. So today I want no drama!!! Hugs and Love to all, Michele

deremusl 10/30/2015

Well, good for you for getting through all that! Hope today is better for you.

Love and hugs,
Linda

jenniferalves 10/30/2015

Wow! That was a lot to happen in one day! You got through it ! Sending hugs

slimbear 10/30/2015

Yes, you got through all that and even are able to tell us about it!

My dear wife used to say, if it's not one thing... it's two or three things.

andrealambert 10/30/2015

Wow, that is a lot for one day. Good for you for getting through it.

You are stronger than you think.

cdameron 10/30/2015

I am so sorry Michele -

I hate that, and always think people believe it is an excuse when I try to tell them why I forgot -

I used to be Johnny on the spot with things like that - if a call needed to be made, I made it - if a bill needed paying, I paid it, but now I will think about it in the morning, and then by the time I go to bed, it still isn't done.

This grieving thing really interupts one's mind.

Hang in there, you got it all taken care of, so now to rest for a day or two till they all become due again.

Craig

Shrn 10/30/2015

I went through it too. I didn't file IRS. the year after Don died. I knew I needed to, but just couldn't. They finally caught up with me and I completed the forms. I just lost the desire to live. Sharon

deleted_user 10/30/2015

OMG! I'm exhausted!!! Michele, you need a day at the spa. Come over to Auntie Roz's house and we'll have a Snicker's together. Everything looks, smells, tastes and feels better when I have a Snickers!!!!!

I'm so sorry about your day......Geeezzz! Could you pile it any higher?

You did good girl, I'm proud of you!

Love & Kisses,
Roz

AfterMom 10/30/2015

Michele, I am so sorry. What a day! My husband took over all the bill paying and financial things decades ago. I am learning how to take care of everything he did, WHILE I have widows brain. It is scary.
Have peace today. HUGS.

sandeestttn 10/30/2015

It does seem everything tumbles at the same time. When it rains it pours!... OK, you got past that. Now hide before something else happens. lol I think I have finally gotten it all together, finally... waiting for the other shoe to drop.... Sandee

handg 11/01/2015

Michelle a big great hug going your way! I so get it! 33 months later and my mind still plays mind trick on me...I have been sick for a month coughing like crazy and that also does not help but I screwed up by mixing dates so badly that I did not do and hand it assignments for one of my course! Once I realized it mid week , I had a major block and could do nothing about it. I knew full well that no late assignments would be accepted . Finally yesterday after a good cry and a talk with my daughter, I sent my prof an email saying that I took full responsibility and even though I knew that the assignments by being late earned me a zero, I wanted to hand them in anyway. I also ask if she would rather I give up and resign for the course later on (would cost me another $320) or if she would be o.k. with me continuing and give it my best...I am awaiting a response to my e-mail but realize that I need to not worry about it as I won't be able to change anything until the time comes. I am also awaiting the results of the exam I took 2+weeks ago to see if I can do supply teaching at the French schools in the area once/week. Right now I have work 3.5 days helping out the one school as they could not find anyone but the school board has not paid me which in itself becomes stressful as I start second guessing myself... we will pull through but I'm not promising us a smooth ride...xoxo

Jeff-Bolen 11/01/2015

I'm glad you made it through that bad day. My wife had a stroke in 2006 and that's when I started to do all the banking and paying. I guess it was fortunate that I already knew what to do when she passed. If not I understand how hard it would have been for me to keep things going. I know how hard it but you made it through this day, and I have confidence that you will make it through the next one and the next one and all the rest.

Take care.

Jeff

wifeofjoe 11/02/2015

That's a lot for a day! Yes, I've noticed that everything seems to happen in my household at once.

A few weeks ago, the front garage door wouldn't shut. Got it shut with the help of a neighbour. Then the remote for the back garage started acting up. Will only work if I'm out of my vehicle. *Sigh*

Yes, reminders of my husband being gone. Yet, it shows me the strength that I am slowly developing.

Michele, you as well are growing and slowly getting stronger.

Hugs,
Sheila

at17 11/02/2015

Personally, this was the most frightening thing I have been through as a widow. I teach college and I cannot even begin to tell you how I got through this past spring and summer semesters! My husband has been gone almost one year and sure, occasionally, I still do something goofy. However, my short-term memory is almost 100 per cent normal now---hooray!

deleted_user 11/03/2015

I'm not really sure what "normal" means anymore. I'm afraid there's a new normal in my life and I'm trying desperately to fit into it!

It seems that life changes so much these days and I have to be flexible to bend and stretch myself into it!

I push myself beyond my limits and keep reaching for that brass ring.

Personally, I like days without drama.

Stay strong,
Roz

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