Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

loveddogs 08/07/2015

Coming to terms with my husband's passing is so hard to grasp. The why me's. Trying to put things in a different perspective. What makes me so special that this shouldn't have happened to us? My heart is broken, I cry at the drop of a hat, and the lonelyness is overwhelming. But, I had 40 years with the love of my life, my soulmate, the man that "got me". Many many people never get that opportunity. And that saddens me. They go through their lives miserable, in unhappy relationships, putting too much value on STUFF. And in the end what do they have. STUFF and an empty life. I had everything. And I still do, except for him. I want to believe he still walks beside me as I see our children continue to grow and our grands blossoming into the beautiful people they will become. And the little one not here yet. I want them to know how wonderful he was and how he loved his family more than anything on Earth. And that though he is in Heaven, he will always be a part of them. So I continue to search for answers. Is this my "Purpose"? Am I here to remind them all of the unconditional love he had for all of us? He was not perfect, nor am I, but his Love was. Miss him more each day, but I want to know that when we meet again he will be proud of me for doing everything in my power to show my family the meaning of unconditional Love. Oh Honey I miss you!! Hugs, Michele

JesusisOurSaviour 08/07/2015

Michele,
Your Words have brought me to tears.....just joyful tears, for you.
Love Sandra

deleted_user 08/07/2015

Michele, it's all we can do is be the one left behind to carry on!

I feel as you do that we were the lucky ones to have had this kind of love. Then, fate stepped in and took them away.

We are left with all those wonderful memories, when they were well, and we got to share such blessed moments.

Whether our loss is from an accident or illness it all seems so unfair. We have to take care of ourselves and teach our children and grandchildren that our men's [their fathers and grandfathers] lives had great purpose.

Take care,
Roz

ptorres 08/07/2015

Michele, I try not to focus on the woulda, shoulda, coulda, anymore as it is not helpful or productive but those thoughts do creep back into my psyche now and again. What I do try and remember like you mentioned, is the best 20 years of my life spent with the one who cannot be replaced. There are unfortunately people on this earth who have never or will ever find that level of love and commitment and that is sad. I am so grateful that God gave us the short time we had together although a bit bitter that it was taken away from us so soon. ~Pete

lmj90 08/07/2015

unfortunately I focus on the shouda coulda woulda alot and that "wish i would have's" I know its unhealthy but I can't help it. Your post has made me think a lot about how I can continue to honor Mike and make sure his memory stays with all the people he touched.

Thank you!! HUGS

Lisa

shaneslove 08/07/2015

You are amazing Michele!
Hugs, Amy

myhunkahunka 08/09/2015

Michele,
You brought tears to my eyes also. I feel like you do.
Hugs,
Annie

ruthannstewart 08/09/2015

Oh Michele, you are stronger than you know. Even with the tears and the sorrow that you, carry you still manage to think of others, so it's not just all abt. you, from all you are saying.! You carry your burden of loss very well, you write things that I want to write you back and say :Yes, ME TOO !!" You say alot for all of us and I am proud of you ! Your husband is proud of you, of this I am sure. Just because they are gone physicaly, doesn't mean they are not around. People can think what they want cause I don't even care, I have seen too much to think otherwise ! Thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way !!
Ruthann

Join the Conversation