It is not easy. My husband died almost 7 years ago. We did not have kids, we were not ready at that time. I still ask myself why and no matter what, it still makes no sense to me. He was my best friend, my everything. I waited a long time to meet a guy like that. I still have parents, siblings... etc, that love me. I learned I had to do something to distract myself from the pain. I found games, puzzles, and cross stitch consumes my mind. I was able to distract myself from the pain through my leisure tasks. It gave and still gives me a break from the pain. Give yourself a break, u r going through hell. It is ok to cry and be sad.

My condolences for your loss. Life and death just seems to happen, and is no ones fault. 3 weeks for me tomorrow after losing my wife of 43 years. Pain and loss hits me in uncontrollable waves, which I'm sure is also happening to you as well. With time, these waves apparently lessen. Good luck in your grieving, and I hope you find peace and joy again.

You learn how to cope with the emptiness.They say keeping busy is important so am trying to do just that. My job will not allow me anymore work so i get stuck. Have no hobbies either and am alone here except for a cousin out West who calls me to see how i am..wonder what i would be without her...( Hugs)

you didn't do anything to deserve tragedy. that's not how life on earth works.
I am so sorry you are facing this loss.
We're all hurting here. and this all sucks.
Barb.

I believe we all have ups and downs. I must admit that this is the worse downs I can imagine. It's hard, but I try to focus on the good times we shared. I was extremely lucky to have a wonderful man that I fell in love with,. Our children were adults when cancer grabbed him and I see people here raising young children alone. I understand it's not an easy task to focus on, but it gets me through the day. Sharon

It does seem like holidays are the hardest time. You don't even have the strength to hardly make it through the day without your loved one and then the holidays hit. I know what you mean about everyone joking and laughing while you just sit there. It is surreal. We live in a broken world though. We have joy and sorrows and death comes to everyone. On our first Christmas without my husband, I was determined to follow our family traditions. I took my kids to the tree farm and we bought a beautiful tree. The problem was, no one felt like putting it up. That tree lay on our living room floor until we hauled it out to the trash after Christmas. It takes time, but eventually, you will start to remember the sweet things about life together with pleasure instead of despair. A friend told me that it would be like that and it made me angry. It was true though. Now we put up a tree every year. It is a fake one, but I remember the jolly times that my husband and I picked out that live tree together and it brings smiles. You just need to get through this unbearable part. I will pray for God to give you comfort and strength to make it through these next few months.

Sorrow, loss, and grief come to us all. When it happens to us it feels as if we are singled out but there are 13 million widows out there all feeling the same way. We are a community. We walk this journey together. My husband died suddenly almost 2 months ago and I feel sick most days. I am functioning but grieving terribly. I pray that you will find some joy each day and as the days turn into weeks and months that you will find others to walk this walk with you.

You're feelingso are very common. I really believe most of us have asked the same question. Unfortunately, there is no answer. I'm truly sorry for your loss and pain. I also live with many whys. Just be sure to not consider any of this was your fault in any way. There are things that happen and some good and others are devastating that we have no control over. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sharon

you are not alone... you just drew the wrong straw. That is how life works.. do not pass blame... or borrow trouble.. hold on to your memories and make each moment you have be of value. YOU are here for a reason.

Thank you all for your kind words. This my first attempt at a support group. I have been through so many things for my age and I have just reached a point of devastation. I know everyone on here is in pain and I am so sorry for all of yours as well.

The first set of holidays are difficult, we are raw, devastated. Each day brings its own challenges, so much to accomplish on our own. It has been 4 years for me & still things that happen that are a "first"! All each of us can do, is our best. There are days we will feel like we have accomplished something, other days not so much. It's OK, we pick up the pieces as best we can.
Give yourself time, our journey has changed.
We are here for you!