Hi Patty, I'm so sorry for your recent loss of your husband. I've been there where you are with my loss in November. That was nine years ago and facing the holiday was not easy. The grieving process is so new but in time you will feel a little better and please know that brighter days are ahead.
This is just a thought. If the Hospice group doesn't work for you, try contacting the funeral director. Perhaps they can guide you to a group that would be a better fit for you. Also, try the internet for grief groups in your area. May Peace be with you at this difficult time. Hugs, Dolores

I hear you, Patty. I had access to a health group whom I asked for a reference for a support group. It turned out that the support groups in my area all were on break for the holidays! Isn't that when we need these groups the most? I was then referred to this site, which has been beneficial. You can stop by here any time.

Thank you Dolores! I've searched the internet for Greif Groups or Widow/Widower groups and I've only found this one and the rest are widow/widower dating sites. Even though I'm lonely as hell and wish I had someone to curl up with at night. Other than our cats. THAT is the FURTHERST thing from my mind. I'm just socked and seriously surprised that this isn't more widely accessible like the other support groups or I'm just not looking through it all right.

Deb, yeah you'd think with the holidays being the worst we'd have more meetings and such. I honestly do not want to go to a church, but I'm not a hypcrit although my counselor says a lot of people are hypicrits in church so go if you want too. But, I honestly don't think it would be good for me or them if I was to go to a church meeting for grieving spouses when I'm so daman bloody angry at God or whoever is in charge for cheating us out of all our plans. David had, had such a rough life, a really bad first marriage and we'd only had 11 years and he'd just retired three months before that bloody bastard took him away from me I know I shouldn't be angry but I can't help it! It's just the way I feel!

no support groups here either, but I am in a very small town.
it just sucks. even if there was a group, doubt I would feel ok about sharing there. I am just not very comfortable in group situations about this depth of emotional pain. I do best with individuals or very very small numbers.
I do have a church, and my friends there have helped me more than anyone. very supportive. yet, still not going through the exact same experience as me. Even being "at home" in my church, this widowhood thing challenges my spiritual life. almost beyond bearing.
I don't know how I will find personal guidance. family is useless, sometimes even straight up damaging.
Just FYI, even people who rely as heavily as we can bring ourselves to do, upon God- are challenged deeply where the rubber meets the road during grief.
We are highly emotional (and interdependent) creatures.
I do not consider myself strong, compared to other people.

Hi everyone -

My wife passed on August 28. I am in Houston and found only one
group ( a national organization ) that meets once a week but their 13 week program ended last week before the holidays. That group did a tiny bit of good but it was mainly watching a 35 minute film each week and listening to the group leader ( 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. ). They don't start a new 13 week program until February or March. I don't know if I will bother to go then.

I have searched for every possibility of a grief group that meets regularly that is structured like AA or NA or one of the many other
" Anonymous " groups. There is absolutely nothing. I did find a few groups of widows/widowers in Greater Houston that meet and have
scheduled events such as dinners, square dancing classes, etc. They charge a monthly membership and I think they are a very thinly disguises widow/widower organization.

I even called a Crisis Hotline and they said they couldn't talk to me unless I was about to commit suicide. I said that was not the case and they referred me to their website with listings of numerous
grief analysts at $ 75.00 + per hour.

I just don't get it. I understand AA and the rest of the numerous
" Anonymous " organizations for drugs, overeaters, shopaholics, etc. People I know ( family / friends ) have already heard my story and make themselves scarce. I have to be careful not to mention my wife if I want to speak with any of them about anything. It is absolutely amazing ! I shall be creating a new will in the near future and shall remember all of my experiences since the death of my wife.

Meanwhile, I am very thankful for this site. It is the ONLY thing I have found since the death of my wife 3 months and 3 weeks ago.

Thanks to all -

Darrell from Texas .

Wow! Everything you said is exactly how I'm feeling. How my husband was taken he didn't want to go even had his check UPS and a EKG nothing showed up. Its easy for others to say your not alone, but in reality we are. They don't feel what we do they don't go home alone or to bed alone, they will never understand until they go through it.

I too am having a hard time with religion, we didnt goto church, but believed everyone says they will pray for me. Pray didnt help save my husband my best friend. I found a support group its ay a church so, I'm not sure how that will go.it would be nice to have someone to talk or text on a daily basis. I also have been taking anxiety meds even though don't like to.its the only thing that gets me through the day.

Hugs to you.

Hello everyone, I just joined this group after losing my husband and best friend in July. My girlfriend and I have become church gypsies, trying for find a church home. I live in Friendswood, Texas and went to one church Griefshare group twice, it just wasn't for me, at least not right now. Watching a film and doing homework, writing down my thoughts.....I need hugs as I'm feeling empty and lost. I still work part time out of my house, so it helps my brain be distracted and occasionally going to see clients. I am so blessed and thankful for my friends. We meet at a local little bar.....there I get some of the love and hugs by people who loved him and miss him too. I'm hearing all kinds of stories, some make me laugh, some cry, but at least he's not forgotten by any of them...he was a friend, biker buddy and mentor. I get anxiety, which yes I take a pill for thank God.....join a fitness club, went twice...ugh! Not into Christmas, but my neighbors are wonderful and I have my son and two wonderful grandsons (15 and 11) I spending it with. ALL my brothers and sisters, nephews, nieces in Michigan, but they call and check in on me. Never experienced the feelings I have, I hate this......if anyone in my neck of the woods and want to meet to talk, have lunch, go to church, whatever....let me know. My faith is in Him and praying for some kind of peace. Ruthie

Thanks everyone! It's just so hard at times and as much as I'm grateful for this group. I can't do it on my phone when I'm at work or running around. So it's hard to come in here and talk with people and talk about what we're all going through. I feel bad because I called off work today it was just too hard for me. I'm a dreamer of stories and now my dreams are coming back and there nightmares. No one in my circle can really relate to my pain. But, I do have one great couple we call brother and sister - they do not pretend to understand but listen to me talk and cry and hold me when I need it. Let me crash at their place when I need it. Jim comes down and helps me go through stuff at the house. Sorting through stuff to go to Goodwill, dump or to sell off. Figured it would be better to sell the stuff I don't want to take when I move in the Spring than let the doctors that didn't find this issue and in my view are the cause of my husband passing away. FUCK THEM! I know David would rather me have the money than them. Besides the attorney said I can sell anything that isn't TITLED to him! :)

But it still surprises me that there is no real groups out there. Maybe it's something I should try and start??

After my husband died 4 yrs ago I didn't know what to do. Then one day the phone rang and it was the preacher who had spoke at the memorial. He asked how I was doing and I told him. He told me about the hospice group and that you could go even if you didn't use hospice. I was scared but I went. Didn't say much that first time. You didn't have to unless you wanted to. It met more than once a week, even had one in the evening. I wish more places had that. It helped me a lot. I thought I was going crazy but when I heard the others talk they were just like me. So I felt better. I moved back to NY to be near family and started to attend church. They put on a grief program every year. I don't go any more but it is there for those who need it and you don't need to belong to the church. Maybe one of you could start a group. Just talking to others helps.

Try Meetup.com,,,,put your area in. I found my group thru this site. It is not a dating site, it is for widows and widowers (non religious) to have round table discussions, dinners,. I also joined a wine group on this site. This site also has hiking, bird watching,,,etc...

Carried thanks for that site, unfortunately I couldn't find anything within 50 mils of myself. Which would take me to Ft Wayne, IN and Toledo, OH since I'm just outside of Defiance, Ohio.

It would be nice to have a chat room set up here. So people could come in and just chat like the good old Yahoo. LOL! It's where I met my husband! Gods I miss him!

Two groups that I found helpful were the ongoing hospice group, and the Grief Share program sponsored by a local church. The two church members who did the Grief Share Program went to the effort to do the whole program for one person(me). Talk about strangers coming through for me when I really needed it. I will be forever grateful to those people.

I've also gone to GriefShare, and I've found it helpful. My group meets twice a month, so it actually takes 26 weeks to go through their "13-week" program. Our facilitator adds extra presentations, such as "Surviving the Holidays" and "Helping Children Cope with Grief" so that takes the total to about 28 weeks. There are people in our group who have gone through the entire program twice, and they say that they've seen things in the videos the second time that they missed the first time through. Although the videos are very much faith-based, the subsequent discussion is wide open! We've touched on a lot of different topics, and I think that's what keeps people coming back. It's just a nice place to vent without worrying about what others will think or say. Everyone's in the same situation.

I hope you can find a group that will work for you. Attend a few meetings -- not just one or two -- before deciding if the group is a good fit.

Wishing you peace . . .

OOPS ... forgot to give the website ...

www.griefshare.org