They think you're over it, or should be. They don't understand...

I think it's just something people say. In two days, I will be at 8 months and I got it from people I know today. Is it thoughtful or sensitive? No. Was he thinking about how difficult this day is for you? Most likely, no. This day is tough for all of us. I hope you're doing ok.

I to felt the way you are felling it is so hard when you have your best friend torn from you life the hole is much bigger than any one can see I have been through hell with my first woman since I lost my love
I am learning every day things I never wanted to learn. Like how to meet some one when your life is half over
don't be so hard on your self or the people that say stupid things when I saw people having fun shortly after my loss I wanted to scream life is hell why are you so happy you should understand but the pain that is so strong for us is ours to suffer through not there's it has been 3 years for me and it still feels like a horrible dream I hope to wake up from
their life and memory's shared we the ones left to carry on hold inside so hard having only memory's hard to think people have forgotten one we hold so dear I know

Thanks so much to everybody for your reply. You are all very wise and I'm so grateful to know I'm not alone in my feelings.

Kim

So sorry that this happened to you, kimbo. Sometimes perky people seem to have words like darts to a broken heart. I know the "bang" and big chain reaction of cheerful feeling to Valentine's Day worshipers. I survived that day only by planning in advance and treating myself to the usual way that my husband treated me on that day. That was my only rational outlet. Though I do know moments when people should really know better than to expand my hurt with inappropriate behavior. I don't imagine that some folks are trying to hurt my tender feelings. It's just that many don't know how to use their words for comfort during the rush of living their own personal lives. So I dare to overlook at certain times and excuse for this as a matter of random blindness. If it continues to offend, then there is the time to speak up and let that person know that their actions, words or behavior is creating added pain. Usually, some will consider my feelings and apologize. If not, I avoid giving any attention their way. But much love to you. I am so sad that you are hurting. You are not alone. I know pain too.

I can only agree with Martha; it's as simple (or as complicated) as that. They just don't understand! Remember, they are living in their world, you are living in yours.
BRG.

BrokenGeo, you point out a basic fact that those in grief tend to forget in their focus on their grief process. How can we expect they understand and know what we need in a particular moment. I did my share of lashing out from my dark place then slowly realized that walk a mile in my shoes works both ways.

Broken Geo and Coldbiker and Martha, I couldn't have said it any better than you guys have already. Kimbo, I hope you're doing okay today.:)