Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This Tuesday will be 8 weeks since the death of my true soul-mate...my Team mate in life...(calling him just my boyfriend does not seem to do him justice)...I say we were together 18yrs, but we were actually together about 25..(there was an age diff & a divorce in there-none of which really matter at this point, it was long ago)...He was diagonosed with Liver Cancer Oct 31, 2012, and passed March 26, 2013...He passed at home, we had an awful expierence with hospice...I was not mentally prepared to go thru it (I suppose no one ever is).
I have been reading other posts, I understand that grieving is a process, one that most do not understand, until you have to go thru it yourself...
Sunday evenings are the hardest day of the week for me...I thought when the weather got nicer I would keep busy enough to get thru it...but today proved me wrong....I worked in the yard most of the day, yet once I decided I was done I spent the rest of the evening feeling weepy and sobbing....Everyday is a task to get thru, but Sunday's are the worst....even when he was ill, I would often find myself sobbing on Sundays because I couldn't make him better...we had been thru a lot, he had back surgery, was on disability, then he had Hep C, we got thru all that, but damn cancer took him from me....I feel so defeated....
some days I feel like I am getting better, but then I see the way people look at me and I know I am still in the "fog" of grief...I don't know if I am getting better or worse at this point...
I have been reading other posts, I understand that grieving is a process, one that most do not understand, until you have to go thru it yourself...
Sunday evenings are the hardest day of the week for me...I thought when the weather got nicer I would keep busy enough to get thru it...but today proved me wrong....I worked in the yard most of the day, yet once I decided I was done I spent the rest of the evening feeling weepy and sobbing....Everyday is a task to get thru, but Sunday's are the worst....even when he was ill, I would often find myself sobbing on Sundays because I couldn't make him better...we had been thru a lot, he had back surgery, was on disability, then he had Hep C, we got thru all that, but damn cancer took him from me....I feel so defeated....
some days I feel like I am getting better, but then I see the way people look at me and I know I am still in the "fog" of grief...I don't know if I am getting better or worse at this point...
I've been working in my flower garden for weeks now, thought it help, make me get out of the house. But weekends and evenings are just hard no matter what I do.
I just keep hoping with time it'll get better, but it sure is miserable right now.
Its still too soon for you. You will make it.
Hugs to you.
But Sunday used to be our favorite day. It was relaxing. We would do absolutely nothing and that was okay. Even if we didn't do anything together, it was a good day.
After he died it became my hardest day. I kept busy during the week working; did stuff on Saturdays that kept me busy. But Sundays everything would slow down and the pain crept in and grabbed me until I felt I couldn't take it any more.
But gradually, the pain got less. The grief wasn't as bad. The good memories stayed and now Sunday is one of my favorite days again.
For all the same reasons it was my husbands and my favorite day. It's relaxing; the phone doesn't ring; I work in the yard and take my dog to the park and read books or just do nothing. And it's okay now.
Since your husband's passing was 8 weeks ago, you are still very new to this process. Give it time. Give yourself permission to grieve any day of the week. It will get better.