Hi,
Sorry this is a bad day for you. I get those too,
I usually decide to accept the tears and try and do something tangible...ie: go for a walk, talk to to a friend, go for a read and a cappuccino or what ever will lift me out of that wallowing feeling
Seems to make the day go better. Until the next trigger hits. It seems to work for me. 7 months is very early days on this journey, don't expect too much from yourself.
Hug.......Sandra

I agree. We think we are doing okay and then realize we were on autopilot and all those emotions just surge up again. I guess we just go on dear friend. Most things that are outdoor jobs seem beyond me. my grandson (6) said last week that it had been a long time since grandpa died (4 months) It seem like yesterday to me. Keep those t-shirts- i sleep in one of my husbands most nights and it seems to help me sleep. I am sending you a big cyber hug. I am walking same path. Patti

I started feeling "better" at around 10 ~11 months. Not back to my old self by a long shot, but better than the first 9 months. I don't know if you are able, but walking really helped me. Just getting out of the house can improve your mood.

My husband could fix anything as well. So many things have stopped working and I have just left them... the coffee maker, the dishwasher, the air conditioning unit. So I drink tea, hand wash the dishes and I am going to be hot this Summer. Yes it is frustrating.

Cleaning out his dresser yesterday was a big thing. I remember how awful I felt for days after I moved things out of his closet.

Big hugs sent your way.

Lettie, I am so sorry about your bad day.....am having one myself. I have asked before, when does the light at the end of that long tunnel appear?

This is the loneliest road I have ever traveled and I hate it. I don't want to go out for coffee, or eat food or do anything....I just sit and cry waiting for some divine intervention to happen......and it never does.

Hugs
Jen

When I first started this journey I was told that it would be a roller coaster ride, and it most certainly is. You can feel pretty good for a few days or even weeks and than WHAM something hits you and once again you find yourself down at the bottom of the ride. I can only tell you that at 13 months, the lows aren't quite as low and getting out of them is just a little easier. Big hugs coming from AZ
Darlene

I am too sorry you are having a bad time. But I will say you are still only a short way into your journey. It's been 2 years and 8 months since I lost my wife. It seems like yesterday. The first year was a blur for me. The second was much more painful for me, in part I believe because I was much more aware of the loss. Even now I have bad days and good. This past weekend being Mothers day was a bad one for me. The grand kids are getting older and I wish they could have had her longer...

My advice is as others have said. Go with the pain, don't hold back the tears, you need to do this, as I have learned.

Take care of yourself and you will will learn what works best for you.

Jeff

Hi MrsL
I'm sorry you are having a rough time...I have been wondering the same thing myself, 'when will it get better?'...I'm only 2 months into this journey to Hell, and the last couple of days have been really bad, so I really can't offer any advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
When my husband was in the hospital, especially during the last days, one thing I would say to him before leaving for the day was 'hang in there'...and now I'll say it to you...hang in there, Mrs.L...hopefully we'll all see that light at the end of the tunnel sooner than later...take care
wendi

I'm really sorry about your loss. I was told there was no time limit on grieving. I'm just a few days from the 2nd anniversary of losing my husband to cancer.
Hugs.

MrsL, thinking of you as you struggle today and wishing you and us all better days ahead. I too spent yesterday cleaning out my husbands wardrobe, I found that while I bagged them up, I have put them in another room, I just can't get rid of them yet.

I also find myself in a really bad place this last week, sad, miserable, missing him so much, his voice, his face, his smile, his touch.

The tears won't come but I am enveloped by sadness and loneliness. I am realizing that I have been numb and on autopilot for most of the last 10 months. After the pain of the first few months, I had thought I was doing ok, but now realize I have been numb and on auto pilot and trying to run away from the pain by being busy, now I am just exhausted.

Like Jen, I don't want to go for a walk, or coffee or anything, I'm tired of doing those things and pulling myself together, I think I just need to feel, to mourn everything I have lost, my darling husband, our life together, our past future that will now never be.

Sending you hugs and giving thanks to DS and this wonderful community.

I also am sorry. 7 months, you are still raw. I gave myself a year. Then I tried to start healing. It has been 27 months for me. I can say, I finally started getting better at year 2. I don't know what happened those 2 years. BUT, I am finally feeling I am getting some better. Then July would have been our 50th Anniversary. It will hit hard again. But I vow, I will bounce back quicker this time. You will get there, don't try to rush it, as they say, it takes time. Some longer than others. Sandee

All of you...thank you, Bookdragon, Mannie123, Matoacalody, hgdms, Candgrrl, Jeff Bolen, wendimac, JennS,Janpeter, Sandeestttn.

You all truly know how i feel and hearing your side helps me realize that I should also ask about you. How are YOU feeling since your loss? How are you doing after losing your loved one? Are you getting by, doing just okay, or getting along better than expected?

I wish all of you calm in your life, great memories, pleasant dreams and a bright future in some form or fashion ahead. It's so hard to think too far out, I know. I can't get past thinking of this week only. I will get busy doing more again now. I have found some strength through you all and some of my most close relatives. I will get out there and do what I've been saying I need to do. It needs to be done and there's no use in postponing it. I'll put on the radio and get to work.
I want my husband to be proud of me. I have driven his tractor and moved things with it and loaded things with the front end loader. I never drove it before, but I watched ALOT. I was learning from my teacher and never got a chance to say thank you for teaching me.
I am working some of the horses getting them back into the mindset of being ridden again. I hug my dogs and give them the attention they give me and they protect me everyday. Woe to anyone who would try to hurt me with my dogs around.
So all of you, let's try to get busy. Get a small project done and then we can say hey, i did this today. Finally its done and i feel better about it.
Maybe this will help us. We can all get involved and tell what our project was, cleaning, or whatever, because we will have some pride in our work.
Good luck to us all. Let us all take care of ourselves and take a few moments to call a friend just to say hello and maybe smile and laugh at something with them. Watch a funny movie and remember how we did those things with our loved ones and enjoyed it then and still do.
Thanks you all for your replies and help and ideas.
Letty

Seven months is just a blip in the journey of grief. I admire how you are taking care of your property, animals, riding tractors, oh my gosh you are amazing. Your husband would be extremely proud. My husband at the end of his life stated I would be okay and sobbing I said "never without you." Slowly and with baby steps it is getting just a bit better. I wish you much peace. We are here for you. Vent any time, we all truly understand.

To you Rainbow, thank you for such a great compliment!

The important thing to remember is the roller coaster ride gets longer in its down path and we adjust better with the feelings. We learn coping skills along the way to handle the truth of our loss. Soon it will be 8 years and honestly there's times (like the motorcycles coming out in the Spring ) when I hurt knowing that part of my life is gone. The first years I would have to pull off the road to cry. Now there's a yearning for the days gone by and a smile of appreciation for the wonderful memories we made. You will get there too. Sharon

I remember going through this kind of feeling. I found one book that helped me understand my grief that I thought would be better when I thought or others thought I should be better
Seven Choices Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World
Elizabeth Harper Neeld who lost her husband.
Many people and we were under the impression (to me) that grieving is what we do during the firs days or weeks after our loss & after months go by we often think we should be ok. It seems at this time we are in struggling emotions & most advice can do little to resolve, yet most friends & family are ready for us to accept better. It seems the time you are struggling with what is normal, and finding what we call here a new norm - struggling in the dark type feeling. So be patience with yourself there is no time frame set for grief. I wish you the best.