How can any of it make any sense? It just doesn't. Why this person and not that person? I gave death such little thought in the before years, never considered the devastation to the survivor and the shared lost life. Anger is normal in this abnormality. And for many, it comes and goes. All you can do is roll with the punches, accept that grief is going to do what grief will do, and just let it do its thing. Sure, we all fight it for a time, but learn that it simply is going to run the show for a time. Know that we are all here for you. Scottie

Oh how I remember the anger. Sometimes, pretty regularly actually, I'd curse out my husband. I was angry at God, at myself and pretty much the world. I hid it well, but it was just one emotion amongst many I felt. I've discovered that it's best to let yourself feel however you feel and give yourself permission to do so. Today anger, tomorrow sadness, next day, who knows. One day a little joy may sneak in and then maybe two days are ok. It's been 2 years 7 months for me and I probably haven't cried at all this past week, despite the fact that it was an awful week for different reasons. So, however you feel, it's all part of this awful experience. Just go with it.

I'm almost 6 months out and I've berated myself time and again for only remembering the bad things, which makes me angry at me...at him. I think it's all part of the processing of our grief. It's really unfair. It is. And you sure as heck can be ANGRY about all of it. You are not crazy, you're grieving. Please take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. Yell, scream and cry when you need to. It's all NORMAL.

You will feel all kinds of emotions, some within moments of each other. Just like everyone else has said, it's normal! As time passes you will still feel them but probably not as frequently. I'm 6 months into this awful journey and didn't believe it when I was told, but I'm finding some Truth in it. Take care of yourself,eat right if at all possible.try to get some good rest and sleep.and try not to isolate your self.if you believe in God,pray,if you don't ,seek some outside support (someone you can talk to and trust). Also try to exercise, maybe start with a walk. It may help.remember it's all normal to feel this way.

Anger is a common stage of grieving, and everybody should expect to find themselves in the same situation. When the anger phase hit me, I could have hit anybody. I never understood the whole "red mist descending" description in books about anger because I'd never experienced it, until I lost Cliff and started to come out of the fog. Then I was angry at everybody - Cliff, God, the world, etc. When I started snapping at people, I knew I had to find an outlet for it. Journaling became an essential for me - I could pour out heaps of anger in my journals. At home at night, I would pound my pillows with my fists. That way I didn't hurt anyone, I didn't hurt myself, I didn't upset my kids or my colleagues.

This phase will pass, and the anger comes back periodically, but it is nowhere as intense as the early months. I think it was really terrible 3-6 months. I still get angry about losing Cliff, losing him suddenly, and so soon, but the anger doesn't last long now.

Hang in there, it will get easier to deal with.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I began to snap at people. I get irritable and short with every situation. I can no longer handle stressful situations or large amounts of responsibility at one time. Frustration is huge. As every one before me has said we all get it and it changes. For some it manifests itself into unrecognizable traits or habits that we didn't have before. It can be scary and confusing. Writing in a journal has helped me. Grief changes daily and some times by the minute and hours as well. Try to be understanding with yourself. I have learned that no matter how painful this is we must feel it every step of the way. Hugs to you
Lisa

The lostness. Loneliness. .is overbearing too often. I felt I was on another planet..I wondered if I had been the one to die. This felt like purgatory limbo..it still does for me But I taught myself to Stop thinking. .Breathe..look at nature..the moon..and that's how I am getting by. Sometimes I shock myself by laughing. .it's getting easier to cope. My life will never be as it once was but I feel him with me more lately. Time does help.

Thank you for sharing all your experiences and for your assurances that what I am feeling right now is normal, As I read all your responses over and over again, I can relate to most of your experiences. I have berated myself...a lot of times, I cursed my husband...some of the times... and I snapped at people... so quickly. My sister visited me the other day and she said that I need to calm down while driving, she noticed I have been very impatient...didn't realize it was all part of my grieving process. I am starting to feel a roller coaster of emotions, anger then sadness... Lots of sadness...my chest hurts...so bad..
I will try my very best to roll with the punches and to go with it just what all of you said. And to let grief do what it needs to do. I just wish that my family and friends will understand what I'm going through. This is just a very horrible life experience nobody wants to go through. I may look at journaling or walking when I feel angry to see if that would help, Thank you for the suggestions. And thank you again for all your responses, I think you are the only ones who truly understand me right now.

I understand your anger. My husband died last December and I still get angry that he past away. I wanted to go first and not be left like I am now. I think we are angry because we are left alone and no longer a couple. I have no one that cares about me like he did. We are no longer a couple. We have to be everything to our selves.

I hear you. I'm afraid anger is a part of this difficult journey. It will lessen in time and finally dissipate. I would vacillate between anger and resentment to loving and longing all the time during those first months after losing Rick. You are not losing your mind. You are grieving. There's a big difference even though it doesn't always feel like it. I will be praying for God to give you peace.

I really appreciate all of your responses, support and prayers. God bless each and everyone of you.