This may not be what some of you parents with grown kids want to hear, but I am a grown child and guilty of not keeping contact with my dad all the time. I mean he is a busy man, but I am also swamped with my own life. This may well be the case for most grown children. They have jobs, homes, kids, and just don't seem to keep contact with their parents even in the best of circumstances.

Mggie

Thank you DS family for all of your answers.
Just maybe in my scrambled brain of different emotions
I might blow things out of proportion about what my children are thinking?? HOWEVER, more contact from them would definitely make me feel that they are at least thinking of me.
One phone call a week is all I am asking
and since there are four of them, that would take care of the month!!!
But I suppose men just don't think like woman do.
Oh well, at least my daughter and daughter in law get it....
I think??
Janice

Janice believe it or not my mother-in-law calls me every Sunday. My husband used to call her every Sunday and now she continues the tradition of a phone call on Sunday. It usually ends up with one of us crying but it is nice to be remembered.
Hugs, Sandi

After FIL passed away and after MIL made comments that her kids did not call her (I did and made Hubby call as well but she did not view it that way) my husband reminded her that the phone work both ways and that with his busy life he may forget to call but he would make time to talk should she call. She replied with "You know I don`t like calling people" his reply was " Well I`m the same way " . When I feel that I haven`t heard from my son who lives away, I call him . I think that we have expectations from our kids because they are our kids and when they don`t come through what we feel we are entitled to, we get disappointed.
I do call my parents often , but my mom calls me as well.
Why do you not put aside that they do not call and start calling one of them once a week ? Once that is established point out gently that you would love to hear from them soon.

There was a reply to a similar post last year , that the son finally admitted not calling his mom because he could not handle the negative / sad direction the phone calls brought on so it was easier not to call, when the poster realize this , she made it a point to make cheerful conversations not focused on losing her husband and things got better.
I know when I call my son , if the topic comes close to talking about his dad, I can tell that his mood changes. Men don`t always deel with emotions the way we do.

To handg...
I call or text my kids all the time...just would like them to be the one to see how I am doing.

I have four children. My sons are on opposite sides of the country. They are married and one of my son's wife has cancer that has returned. I don't expect him to call all the time. But I am disappointed in my son who was always calling from the time he was in college. He would come to see me at least twice a year, but has not been home since October of last year and my husband passed away in July 2013. We were talking at the senior center today about how scattered families are and how we don't see our children much. The blessed part of this is that my two daughters have been so very supportive. They call me every morning. I call them when I come home from my activities and then they call me at night before we retire. They pick me for church every Sunday and chauffeur on the weekends if I don't feel like driving. My youngest daughter took me to Vegas in February and we are going again in November. I thank God every day for my daughters because they were grieving too. But they have been so strong for me.

I have a grown daughter, she's 25, oldest of my six. She lives less than 2 minutes away, she's pregnant and married. I haven't seen her since May. Lots of issues there with her, she's a recovered addict (prescription pills) and she still has lots of anger and blame issues....my not being the perfect mother who says and does all the right things all the time doesn't help. I do have friends though, lots of wonderful people the Lord has brought into my life who call and come and would be there for me if I ever were to stop being so stubborn and ask for help. I have been the one to call, to text when we have communicated. It's so painful and I understand how you feel.
Take care of you, they have to take their own inventory, they are responsible for what they do and don't do. You don't have the energy now to rationalize this. My goodness they will regret these things one day.

I remember my neighbor had a saying, "expect nothing & you'll never be disappointed." We are blessed when we have people in our life that can be loving & supportive but even under those circumstances it is up to me find a new path in life. I'm unable to see happiness ahead but staying grounded in grief is worse. I don't want it to become a tool in my life that I use to justify a sad existence. By no means do I think this is easy or without many, many tears, but hopefully with the Lord's help my husband can look down & see me trying to have a life.

I found this very hard to deal with too. My three children were living at home and I literally begged to have one meal a month together as a family and couldn't get it. The first few months in particular it seems the kids were gone a lot - my daughter always at someone elses house.

It is four years later and I see all the kids a lot more now than I did then. My daughter at a much later point in time mentioned that it was so hard to lose a father, but it was also very hard to see me unhappy and was something they did not want to deal with at that time.

They expected me to be the adult and the stronger one. They wanted to feel like I still had control of the family, etc. yet I wasn't at a point where I was going to act that way. She also mentioned how it was so painful to come in the house and not see her father there - it was easier to stay away.

People handle things differently and a death in the family and hurt relationships - as time goes by hopefully they can become back to normal or better again.

My oldest son seemed totally disinterested in not only me but also his brother and sister. With a girlfriend over an hour away we rarely saw him because he stayed there a lot - even for most holidays - except xmas. Never responded to text messages or returned phone calls. Always with her family - very frustrating. I finally gave up. Stopped calling or texting him or inviting him to any family events. Didn't talk to him or text for over 2 months then yesterday he called and apologized for not calling. We had a long conversation (for him).

Luckily my mother was around to call or see and I made an effort to make new friends and go out more. Now my kids suggest things time. It is hard to deal with. I'm guessing part of it is the age. People say they don't understand - but when my father died I was in my mid thirties and went out of my way to visit and talk to my mother. Like everything else it is just something we often have to deal with and get thru.