Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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avmom 10/31/2017

Last night was my nephews confirmation. I have not been in a church in many years. I was shocked when halfway through the tears started flowing. I was in my own mind, in my thoughts. All I could think about was all the times I prayed while my husband was in the hospital and then when he was in hospice. I am not mad at god, but i don't know if I beleive in prayer anymore, who really hears us. If they did would they have taken my husband away from me and my children. It seems so unfair. I was never a very religous person but this really rocked me.

Today is halloween, his favorite holiday. The kids still went trick a treating every year even though they are not teenagers because they knew how much it meant to their father. He loved going out with them and then coming back to give out candy. I just realized this will be the first time without their father. And no amount of prayers will change that.

NoOneKnows 10/31/2017

Sometimes I wonder too, Avmom. I agree it all seems unfair. I constantly think why would God want or allow me to be alone at this point in my life. We had no children, only each other. I don't have any answers or any good suggestions to offer but I do understand what you are saying. Hugs to you, Amy

dogmama 10/31/2017

My dad is a preacher, so I grew up going to church. I believe there is a God and that God hears our prayers. But I don't understand why He lets bad things happen to good people. My husband died last month in a 1 car accident and was killed instantly. His funeral was on our 6th wedding anniversary. I have never asked "why" so much in my life. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason, but right now it's hard to believe. Just know that you aren't alone and that we're here for you!

countrylive 11/02/2017

I believe as well, but God did not bring sickness and disease onto earth... Satin did as result of original sin... the consequence haunts all that reside on this planet. What comforts me is that Judi is no longer suffering.. she is above all sickness and pain... she waits for me.. and I am left with the best of our memories... my struggle is selfish in that I look to how I deal with my loneliness and the loss of all the confidence and love we shared daily. She is in my dreams each night where I struggle to separate them from reality.

shewearsblack17 11/02/2017

My struggle is with the fact that Dennis did not get his healing because I know I had the faith. People from all over the world were praying for him. I am a Christian, and I still hold to my beliefs, but not so much where healing is concerned. This must be conditional, I am now thinking. Some think that once a person is in Heaven, that they don't even recall life down here. And there won't be marriages in Heaven either. I guess if there were, there would be a lot of confusion when a person has been married multiple times. If he made it, he's up there with the mother of his children. He was married to her almost 38 years and to me less than 6.

countrylive 11/02/2017

i had people praying for my wife as well. I suppose it was not in Gods will.. or that she was needed beyond her life here.. even those whom are healed, eventually their bodies fail. i find peace in that she is in a better place.. and find it selfish on my part to deny her that. From Isaiah 65 comes the thought of no recall... is says “For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.” yet we were born on earth, and we will be in heaven..as Christians.. .in the earth but not of it.. certainly in Rev 4 and 6 there is conversation of saints on what has transpired on earth. So for it to all come together.. at least in my mind... we will not recall pains of earth habitation but will remember our interactions.

shewearsblack17 11/02/2017

Hold that thought. I have to get off for now and get ready for church, but I would like to perhaps continue this discussion later. It is pretty vast and very hard for my finite mind to comprehend.

shewearsblack17 11/03/2017

We just had a prayer meeting at church tonight, since so many people were gone on vacation or to the conference. I said a collective prayer for everyone on here. I hope each day gets a little brighter, and that the dark clouds will gradually lift. I will try to visit here again tomorrow.

Msbklyn 11/03/2017

I do not pretend to understand the why of our losses or any sadness in this world. And yes, I too prayed for and believed whole heartedly that my husband would be healed. I do know that God promises us one thing, he will always be with us. And it is our choice to seek him out, he never abandons us, even in our pain. When my husband died, I prayed that I would not lose my faith. I did seek God even when I questioned with every ounce of my being to the depths of my soul why this had to happen to me. Why did I have to lose the greatest gift that HE had given me. I still don't know why, but my God gets me through the pain each and every day and offers me comfort and peace in this life and offers me eternal salvation when I die. Even though I do not understand I chose FAITH. That is the point of it all that we believe even when we do not understand. I pray that we all find him and accept his promise of love and peace. God is love and the love we shared with our spouses and partners let us believe in him. God Bless us all as we endure the hardest trial of our lives here on earth.

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