Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Where to begin....

JeffNY44
JeffNY44

I lost my wife in November 2018. It has been 1.5 years. I came here soon after and met another widow and it was a fantastic resource that helped me through an insane time, and we remain friends. Fast forward to now, and well I can give you guys some hope that I went through some major stuff - it does get better but...man it is still hard. Anyway, here I am again. I tried some dating sites and it is just brutal. I am 45 and it feels like a tough age to start this chapter. I feel too young to be widowed!! But I am too old for this new age online swipe dating. I thought I would come back here. Missing my wife deeply, and just looking for a friend that understands again and I know I can be someone to lean on as well.  Nobody understands this pain but us. As I try to navigate this new world and try to meet people, my grief comes roaring back. I hope you are all hanging in there!

Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Hi Jeff, and welcome back? I was widowed at 50 and no one in my social circle or work circle had been widowed, even my older friends still had their partners. When I finally had the equivalent of a "first date" it 32 years from the last time I'd had a first date. Things sure had changed! It worked out for me, and I hope it works out for you for your next chapter.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
onebrokenheart
onebrokenheart
Hi Jeff. I've been a widow 7 years. I met a widower when I was at 3 years and he was about 1.5 years. There was an immediate connection and friendship. It blossomed and we've been living together for a little over 2 years. My advise based on my experience is to look for only friendships for about 3 years. Reason is that grief comes in waves and hits you at unexpected times. You need time to process and rediscover who you are. I have to say that my guy needed more time before we became more than just friends. I was further along and still could have used more time. But as he says, you don't find love, it finds you. I advise to not rush into anything. Join groups to meet people of similar interests or for you to explore new interests. Take it easy as you are more vulnerable than you might know. Just focus on you and take good care of you.
cymbaline
cymbaline
I had been widowed about three years when I found another partner. I was dating most of that time. As a woman, I realized the odds were against me finding someone. It's a fact that there are fewer men (and fewer still *single* men) in my age group. (late 50s , early 60s) But I did find someone.

It's an election year. You could find a candidate or a cause to work for, and meeting people would be a bit more natural than swiping and scanning the dating sites.
11-30-1986
11-30-1986
My husband has been gone almost 4 months now, not only that my mother lived with us for 11 yrs and passed away in 11-22-2019. My husband had lung cancer foe 3 yrs. I`m not looking for a husband but I would love to have a friend that has been threw the same thing. I`m 60 yrs young retired, I try to stay busy but what do you do at night time? I love to cook and now I don`t cook much. My husband was my best friend.
summe
summe
Hello,
It has been almost three years since I became a widow..
I am 58 and don’t want to be alone anymore..
I’ve tried dating sites!!
Hard to meet serious people these days...
Take care and never give up I say