I lost my husband of 38 years July 2015. He spent 2 years in Vietnam and was exposed to Agent Orange which eventually took him away from me. His last fight with cancer started with the diagnosis of a large tumor on the back side of his right lung. He went through 7 months of radiation and chemotherapy like a champ. April 26 they did a Pet Scan and determined he was cancer free. Our happiness did not last as he started having back pains the end of June. Ending up back in the hospital, we found out he had lesions on his brain, and 3 other spots in his body that appeared to be very aggressive. Art survived 3 weeks before leaving us. The only saving grace was that the brain lesions stopped all pain. He passed very peacefully with me by his side. The following months I lived in a fog and don't remember things that I did. Fortunately, I have a large support system and a great family to support me through this. I've discovered that I don't cry as much anymore but talking to a friend the first time does bring on the "water works". Some people are uncomfortable with my tears but I assure them it is just my way of grieving and that I will be fine. The tears don't fall as often but lately they are occurring more. I'm in the process of looking for a smaller home to move to and I feel so lost without him here to discuss these large decisions. Art was always telling people about how strong I was and he never worried about me. It is easier to be strong when you know your partner is here to support you if you need help. I know this too will get easier. Reading everyone's posts on here has helped me feel support that I'm not the only person experiencing this grief. My heart goes out to everyone that looses a loved one. It is a pain that can't be described.