I can relate. I lost my husband of 20 years three years ago. My kids and grandkids keep me going. I go through the motions, but my heart isn't into anything anymore.

I am so very sorry you lost your love. I lost my husband of 30 years 18 months ago. I found this site several months later and it somehow helped to know that others understood my pain. We need to know we are not alone because this existence is so isolating. Even with our kids and family we are alone because the one person who was always there for us and who matters to us is gone. That one person that always knew where we were and who waited to see us at the end of each day is gone. It won't always feel like it does now. Even at 18 months it is different. The crushing pain and inability to breathe sometimes is gone. However I understand so well your feeling of losing your goals and dreams. I am just recently able to begin to think about more than today or tomorrow. Not doing anything about a future yet, just realizing that I do need maybe at some point to really begin to live my life as it is not how I thought it would be. I'm still going day by day and that's what has gotten me through. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other each day and know that she is still around you and your children. We get many signs from my husband and I love that. It makes me smile, even through the tears. I wish you peace.

I lost my husband of almost 21 years of marriage. He passed away in January.
My emotions are still raw from time to time.
I remember feeling like I want to die also . Life has no meaning anymore. But then I have to remember what he told me before he pass away. He said when I'm gone, remember all the good things. Doing so , It still hurts.
I am trying to get better each day and live the now moment.
Warm hugs to you

It will never fade. Not if we truly loved them. We have to find a way to go on without them.

So sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband 4 months ago to Cancer. It feels as though it just happened. I have not experienced such pain ever. I totally understand your pain. I just want to be with him.

Prayers for you and the boys.

I lost my husband of 36 years 13 months ago. The first year i think i was in and out of purgatory and am still now and then. I also have survived this before as this is my second husband i have lost. Time really is the healer of everything. Life will be forever changed But you will find happiness again in your heart. I feel it will never happen for me but it did the other night i actually laughed at something i did. It is slow as for me it feels like i died but bit by bit you will regain yourself. Have self compassion and know these feelings and thoughts you are having,well there are many of us who feel as you. ( Hugs)

I know what you mean. I have a 16-year-old son and if it weren't for him I don't know where I'd be. I have to be here to take care of him. I feel like I have zero energy and I have nothing else to be here for. How old are your kids? I have another son, who's 28 and married.

3 sons. 19,17 and 15

Yes, I know about broken dreams. I thought we did everything right, raised the kids, committed to one another- loved each other so much, secured good jobs and waiting for retirement-- but now it is all gone. I wonder around aimlessly now, I have forced myself to go to the movies by myself and eat out by myself. I miss my hubby so much - 14 months. I am so mad, he died unexpected and I am so broken. We all know how you feel on this site, take care of yourself and your boys. My kids are what keep me here. HUGS.