Hi dear Edie ~ Some times it feels like it will never end. I know what you mean. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I've been a widow a lot longer than you have. In March it will be 10 years for me. But the year that my husband died was terrible. In January of 2001, my daughter lost her baby, a little girl -- and then I almost lost my daughter. In March, my husband died. In June my mother-in-law died. Then also in june my step-son got married. It just was a very emotional first 6 months. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I very nearly did.

The first year I was a basket case and I don't know how I made it thru. It must have been with the help of God. I know you're having a very difficult time right now. It seems like when we're down and vulnerable, everything seems to hit us all at once. Just know that I will keep you in my prayers -- and that you can always come here and vent when you need to -- or message me if you'd like. Please take good care of yourself because YOU are important too. God bless. Hugs, Lee

Edie, You've endured so much this year. So many losses and heartaches. Use some of that pent up emotions and go back to the car dealership and fight for the repairs. Like my Mom has told me...use the "widow" card if you have to! Things will start looking up. ((hugs)) Dar

Thank you. I am just sitting in my husbands home office and crying and can't stop. I do feel like I am losing my mind. I dont have anyone to talk to. I thank you all for being here. It makes it less lonely. I just feel so angry right now too. I am also asking my husband why he left us. I hate this. I did not sign up for this life!! Everyday I ask the lord for help and to take this pain and loneliness away. Today is especially painfull.

Edie

How right you are, you did not sign for this. Today being an especially hard day, unfortunately this is part of that thing called grieving, and trying to move on. Sucks

I will pray tomorrow and next day and next day gets better and continues going upward at least some each day. A big hug

Oh Edie, My heart goes out to you, your loss is so new and your circumstances unfaily difficult. I won't say I know exactly what you are going through but my story is similiar. Rob got laid off, Rob got diagnosed with Brain Cancer, I took alot of time off unpaid to travel with him for treatment. Thankful that my company was sympathetic and keep my job open. Rob went on SSD. The bills piled up and I stopped paying the mortgage, Rob got sicker, my office closed and I lost my job, then Rob died. The house is in short sale or foreclosure, whatever happens first. Last year immediately following Rob's death I couldn't even come home, my plumbing system froze and had to be replace. I live on the water and it was too icey to go underneath to fix the plumbing. It's eventually got fixed, about $1500. I learned that I just take one thing at a time and deal with them. It's the loss of your partner that is the last straw . We know we could take it all ....if only they were here. But they aren't and it's terrible and you will cry and cry, but breath and come here and reach out. It's just so soon. Relief comes in the swell between the crest of the hugh waves of grief. After one year there is more space between the crests and it gets a little easier to breath. The rest just happens and things get straightened out in whatever way they do. I am so sorry, glad your here. Hug, Donna

You have every right to cry and to feel sorry for yourself...you have lost so much. I felt like I was losing my mind all the time ...somedays I think I have...but I keep moving forward with the grief, through the grief...then someday I hope, past the grief...18 months not there yet....but I keep moving, always praying for strength from God...He is faithful and always gives me what I need to make it another day... dont lose hope...~ blessings~ Debbie

Hi Edie,

Everything may seem bleak right now but hold on. I will pray for you, hoping you can begin to believe that even through life's hardship God does have a plan for your life.

I pray that you will continue to ask Him for what you need including His comfort and peace beyond understanding.

It's difficult but remember that this is temporal.

It's okay to cry everyday. Do what you need to do to grieve your losses. They are great, profound and life altering. Your life will never be the same again. This does not mean you won't eventually laugh and smile or feel true joy again. Just that it will be different and you will be different.

Each day as you move forward I hope you're will not be afraid to ask for support from your family, church family and friends. Oftentimes people don't know what they can do to help. though they want to be of assistance. Tell them specifically what you need. Someone to sit with you. Someone to pray with you or have dinner with you. Whatever it is that you need. Remember to ask and keep asking. It will get better -- in time.

Edie, my heart goes out to you for all you have lost in such a short time. When lots of things go wrong all at once, we used to turn to our husbands, talk it out, get warm hugs, and support. Now we have all the messes but no one to turn to. I'm glad you turned to this site. It is unbelievable how helpful it is to bring up a topic and listen to everyone's thoughts. No one in the outside world really understands what I am going through but the people here do! I will pray for you that each day will bring you strength and new insight about how to handle the problems you encounter. You have every right to feel angry, let down, and lost. It takes time to conquer these feelings, and people here are here to help make this time in your life just a little less painful. Thanks for writing!
Kathleen

Dear Edie,

I am so sorry for all your pain and suffering. You have had to deal with more than any person should ever have to. Please don't give up on hope. With any strength you have left, use it to reach out for help.... There are good people out there, and you need to have someone to lean on while you heal from all the loss you've suffered. I pray that you will find peace and hope again.

I lost my husband in September last year, so I understand how raw the loss is for you. Please take care of yourself. Don't give up.

Peace to you, Linda

Hello Edie,
I am very sorry for all the hardships you are going through.
I just wanted you to know that I would be praying for you.
God bless you,

Tim (Jenae's Dad)
http://myangeljenae.com

yup, october's the lucky month for me, too. I feel so raw, and violated when things don't go my way (other folks call it anger...)

I do think they ripped you off at the car dealership. Maybe the manager has some sympathy for your recent widowhood, and your son losing his Dad. Then I'd ask them if the local paper might like a story about a car dealership that goes above and beyond to help a widow and her son..It would boost their business in a tough economy...just a thought.
Hang in there, We're here for you! jules

I dont know if it's the atmosphere or the Winter, but I am so filled with grief today that I can't stand it. I've cried almost all day. I feel like everyone I know has a life, but I don't. Sure I'm blessed by my children, but I want strong gentle arms around me. I've also gone thru more changes that I ever expected. You have every right Edie to feel sad.

Hello everyone. Thank you all so much for all your support. I love it here were we can go and you know how I feel. I have never felt so alone in my life and you all understand. This would never have happened if my husband was still alive but I believe he was with me protecting us. I appreciate you all and God bless everyone here. The latest update. I posted a review on the dealership online and how bad they were and what they did.They were not happy with my comments. The person that handled my sale did not want to deal with me and she hung up on me so I wrote a very nasty online review and asked for the owner to call me. I got tired of being cheated in life so I was not very nice. I also let them know I just wanted a nice car for my son. I started to cry again and told them I was so tired of being cheated. I apologized for saying the things I did but I did not apologize for why I did it. Long story short they made it right and gave me my money back for the full price of the car if I agreed to remove the online review. Turns out they never even worked on the car and they had it for 2 weeks. Thank you lord and my husband for watching over us.

Dear lord i am so saddened, I miss my husband so desperately. I miss him every second of everyday! If it is thy will to no longer have my husband here with me on this earth please always bless us with yours and my husbands loving spirit always present in our lives. In jesus name I pray. Amen Edie

Edie I am so sorry you have not only lost the love of your life, you have experienced so many more losses. Life is so unfair. You are not just feeling sorry for yourself, you are sad and have a good reason to feel that way. I cry almost every day as well.

I am thinking of you, just know we care and are here for you,

Lu Ann

Wow, a big win for you - Congrats!! I love when things work out well!! You deserve a break and you did it all yourself!!!

jules