Hi Beki, I am sorry for what you are going through. It is just awful. You ask, Will it get better? Yes, eventually. Everyone is different. I thought I'd be good after 2 weeks, and I'm nearly at 11 months now. Am I better, Yes. Am I functioning, Yes. Am I able to do even half of what I could before my wife died. No. I am impaired. The only thing that fixes our broken hearts is time, and lots of it. Do the best you can, but I've heard said here that this isn't a race. What it is, is survival. You've got lots of kind and loving people here that get what you are going through. Hang in there, one day at a time. God bless and comfort you ~~~ Scottie

at 2 1/2 months, I was still struggling with facing reality that my husband was gone. no matter how they pass away, we are not built to have it all sink in at once.
during those parts of a day when it really was sinking in, it was dark and torturous. BUT I had sustained a serious injury, limiting physical mobility for 3 months. I am sure it would have been better with normal activities.
you are going through the early time of great upheaval and changes. there is no way around time needed, with this loss.
be patient with yourself. Also DO whatever you feel you are ready to try to function at. but do not believe that ANYthing is a failure, just because your mind says you "should" be doing better, or more.
Hugs,
Barb.

I lost my husband on December 29th. So I am a bit over the three month marker. I am just now beginning to feel human again. The first two weeks were strange- like an emotional numbness. I had no appetite and couldn't sleep, but when people asked me how I was doing- I remember saying "amazingly well." That must have made some people wonder about me- but I thought I was being truthful. I felt like I should be feeling more. Then right after the second week- the numbness wore off. It is as if I was pinning all my hopes on the fact that it was all a bad dream. And then the reality set in and it brought me to my knees. And there I stayed until about a week ago, and then it seems like, just as abruptly as the intense grief came, it was gone- and for no apparent reason. I still have bad moments and I still cry- but my will to live is back. I don't know if I'll be able to retain my current status- but I am trying to make the best of it while it is here.

I think that for some, it takes longer to regain their strength and hope for the future. I think right now- it is important for all of us to be patient with ourselves. This is the worst thing that has ever happened to some of us. It altered the way we live and changed what our future holds. Just hold on to the thought that you will make it through these days- and take as good care of yourself as possible, even if your impulse for self care is gone.

I didn't believe I would ever be "okay" again, but I am. I believe you'll get there too. It may just take a little time.

May you find peace.

I know what you mean about wanting to get to some sort of normalcy. Every time I feel strong enough to start fighting thru I start remembering that Linda isn't here and when I heal she still want be here. I still struggle with the reality she isn't here with me in the physical since either. It has been seven months now and I have to say I have more better days than bad ones. The grieving is still there but manageable even though there are times when I just have to let it hit and do it's thing until it's finished with me. Then I stand up and try to keep going. The main thing is that during this time be patient with yourself. Your heart has to heal up where it was cut in half. That takes time. My uncle was the first to tell me, he lost his wife four years ago, that I will never get over it but will figure some way to live with it. Please take care of you and do what you need for you. You are the one who has been devastated by this and the one that will have to endure it. But always know that your not alone in your walk thru this.
Peace, Tim

Marriage, Love is when two people become one...when you "lose" your spouse, you have become half of yourself in a single heartbeat...you have just become somebody you never were in your life...I don't think any of us actually knows how to be that new person, and we are starting from scratch.
I agree with all of the above, to take care of that new person as best as you can, and understand that it is NOT a race to show everybody how good you're doing...because you are not doing good at all...you are trapped within the most severe and painful trauma a human being can experience...and you owe the world no facades.
But as time passes, you get to know that new person better, and you understand that you keep the Love of your Departed with you always, and the new person you are will grow and become stronger.
I put "lose" in quotations above for a reason.
I urge you to read anything by Patrick Mathews.

Hi Yayabeki, As you will notice we often say to newcomers welcome to the club no one wants to join. This place is a good place to come and ask questions or just read the posts. I encourage you to read past posts it will help. What is great here is that you can come anytime day or night and there is someone here who is listening and caring. For me I am Just over 3 years and to answer your question, yes it does get better. You are at the beginning of this journey in grief, for now concentrate on taking care of you. Make sure you drink plenty of water, get adequate nutrition, and sleep. Early on I had to give myself permission to sleep whenever I felt the slightest inclination even if it was the middle of the day. This helped me maintain my health since I was rarely able to sleep at night. Take care of you. Peace and prayers of comfort.