You go back when your ready.I took 2 months then HAD to return. It has not been easy however it can be a distraction.

Karen

It depends on the type of your job, if you love what you do, it has a positive effect, because it engages your mind into a constructive and creative thinking After experiencing death so close, making positive connections through job has been my savior. It is like growing new fibers where death took of the chunk of life out of you.
But even if you are not so in love with what you do, you still get the social interaction benefit, bringing yourself out of isolation. For me it was critical, as I was going dark, into deep despair, and distraction. Need to go to work forced me to take care of my appearance, and my overall demeanor as i was watched very closely, and needed to be highly presentable.
I'm not even talking about the financial side, it's given that just a
paycheck makes a job worthwhile.
And I had plenty of time to keep falling apart and allow crying my eyes out after work and on weekends.
Bottom line, in my opinion, work is a healthy deviation from the negative side of grieving such as isolation, self neglect which often accompanies grief and has a life restorative effect. Good luck and all the best

I went back to work almost immediately because I had too. I was under contract. However I did leave my job after 4 months at the advice of a counselor. I was relieved because I didn't feeel I was doing a good job and I was beyond exhausted. I now (9months out) have a job 2 days a week, still teaching. This works better for me, but since I have already taught for about 37 years I also have a pension. I'm not getting rich but I'm getting by. You have to do what works for you. In teaching you are always in public view and expected to be very "on" and aware and concerned about each detail of your 120 students' lives. Its a daunting task when you are at your best. I am glad that it has been possible to lighten my load.

So very sorry for your loss. We all understand here that "time" is a precious thing to each of us and everyone does on their own timeline. I pray for your peace of heart.
Brenda

Only you know when you are ready to return to work. I was off with my husband for about three weeks before he passed and did not return for several weeks--I don't even know exactly how long I was off--I just realized one day I needed to get back to work to help occupy my mind. I was fortunate that I had a job that would allow me paid time off under an extended medical leave. You will know when you are ready. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thank u all for sharing your thoughts and experiences x I guess the decision is more complex in that I am now a single parent, my partner and I worked together for 16 years in the hotel and restaurant industry in management roles, and I'm still unsure what to do. My son is my priority, and I'm in the fortunate position that our house is ours. I feel guilty for turning my back on what we had always done together, but at the sametime, we had just got a new job 5 days before he died, so were going to leave the company anyway. I'm so confused, I feel bad for being off so long, but can't go back yet. Sorry to waffle but my heads mixed up and the one person I need to ask, my soulmate has gone x

I am sorry for your loss, I know this can be a very confusing and overwhelming experience, I lost the love of my life almost two years ago. Your situation sounds very complex and I know the one person you need to ask isn't here. Keep in mind you know what he would say, you just need to get to a point where you know what he would want you to do. I know that's easier said than done at this point but you can do it, he's still in your heart all you have to do is listen.

I worked in the hotel and restaurant business for a long time, ok it was in accounting but I know it was important to match the manager with a property they could excel at. Listen to your heart, use your head and grieve when you need to. It gets better, but it takes time to learn how to deal with it, do things in your own time frame.

I wish you nothing but the best and hope you find some peace.

Hugs,
Ron

I agree with Karen go back when you are ready. I only had a part time job and it has been 3 mo. and I can only work (on call ) now which is about 20 hours a month. It is perfect for me and I dont see myself ever working more than that and I dont have to deal with any sickos! If it is not a job you enjoy, try to put yourself in position to do something you like to do and I am sure it will come easier to go to work. Good luck with it, Jess

I had to go back after 1 week - but I no choice. If you can financially afford it - then you should take as long as you want. No reason to feel bad about it - some people don't work at all and they are not experiencing anything like you are. Take the time for yourself.

Dear one, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your partner was so special. Maybe part of why you don't want to return is that you knew you didn't really want to work there. Perhaps this is a time to float resumes...and make a new start in another way. Take care, Ann

I had to go back after 2 weeks. I had no leave time left when Brian died, so I only had the 2 weeks bereavement leave my office provides. They would have allowed me to be off longer if I needed to, but I would not have gotten paid. I just couldn't afford to be off without pay. I don't know what your financial situation is, but if you can afford it I say take the time you need to heal. Only you can decide when you are ready to go back. Blessings to you. Susan

I had to go back to work two weeks later, and the day after the service. I had a caring, supportive supervisor. I personally would not be able to return to such a toxic workplace, no matter how long.Are you able to afford to look for a different job? I guess we are all grateful just to have a job these days. Let us know how it works out - we care, and God bless you - G

Thank you all for your comfort and support. From some of your experiences I guess I should just be grateful that I am being paid for the time I am taking off, and use it whilst I can. Its good to be able to relate to other people on here, as I feel that nobody really cares or understands, they are going about their daily lives as we all would do if we hadnt lost the love of our lives. Thank you xx