Wow. I'm right there with you. These early dark days are really hard. I knew they would be and was dreading them. I got all stocked up on craft and art supplies, music, movies etc...but that doesn't take away the dull pain of trying to get through another night. I tried throwing myself into work also but just end up daydreaming and remembering. I'm glad you have your daughter with you. We must have hope for so many who have walked this before us tell us to. They know and someday maybe we will be the ones to help lift up somebody else.
I get it that you are wondering if you are meant to be alone for the rest of your life. I have that same thought. I cannot imagine anyone ever coming close to Rocky. Even though my friends tell me that I will find another, I just can't imagine....not now. Sending you Love and Light tonight and holding on to that hope. Take care. -Becca

I agree about these early dark days. We need sunshine. The world can look so gloomy when the nights are so long. And oh how it changes my attitude. We all understand your pain Catina. And I too "hope" things start getting better for you soon! Hang in there kiddo, hugs and love, Michele

Cat,
It's going to be some time until you're going to feel "normal" again, whatever that was!

NORMAL: You'll have to make a new one just for you. Don't let this one stress you out. Let it happen organically.
ADDRESS BOOK: Will have to change, not that you want it to, it will happen all by itself!

Eat as best you can, drink water [lots of it] and be kind to you. Give yourself lots of space and time.

I wish you well,
Roz

I force myself to eat a little something in the mornings, I stopped pop and only drink water.

I know it takes time just wish I could skip to being me again.

I know it sounds like a clich, but it's important to try not to think too far ahead. Focus on getting through the moment and do as you must to feel better when the grief monster hits. Your grief will change with times of enjoyment before it comes crashing down. The memories begin to feel like treasures. The sorrow gives way to a smile. You will look back and be amazed how strong you are and how much you can accomplish. It's true. I didn't believe it either, but it is. Sharon

For a couple months or so I only drove with my daughter too. Or I'd let her drive. These days, if you can afford it, it might help to turn more lights on. I found myself doing that subconsciously. Not really looking forward to spring though, since, for me, last spring was when all the bad things were happening.

I never thought I would go through this a second time, it seems harder this time and we were together less years than the first. My son who is 19 now has all his dads belonging's and he treasures them.

I will treasure mine and Jasons accomplishments and memories eventually. Right now its hard to even look at his things and I rarely go to our room. The evenings are usually spent with my daughter and son in law since they stay here to help me out. Them being here has helped a bunch.

Thank you ladies for the encouragement, you all are going through or have been where I am I feel a sense of relief coming here.

I'm not a lady, but I miss one. I hope my comments are helpful.

I apologize I wasn't paying attention, o yes your comments help! Thank you. Hope you have a good evening.

Cat, having my 10 year old has helped me very much with being so commforting and it just takes time, and no one knows how much time. Each person is diffferent. Be kind to yourself. Im friends with two gals, one lost two husbands, now remarried 3 years, another gal, lost 3 husbands remarried for almost 9 years now, there is hope im everything you do, and say. big hugs carla