I'm sorry Eeore7 you lost your husband. From what I've read from other's experience, it's better not to get in too much of a hurry to dispose of things. I gave to family a few things that I knew DW wanted certain people to have but other than that everything is pretty much still in the house, of course some things have been put away.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am at 18 1/2 months....I still have things I haven't, am not ready to go through. I do not think there is a universal 'right' time. You do what you want yo when you want to. Do not push this...you will know when you are ready. Be patient with yourself. Hugs to you.

The right time is when you say it is time. Not before or on anyone elses time frame. You will decide when it is the right time. You may want to keep something today and then tomorrow throw it out. Your heart will let you know. Take good care of you and be gentle on yourself.
Robyn

What I'm trying to do is be practical but still honor my husband by what I do with his possessions. I gave his dresser to our 18 year old son to use. I gave his good watch to our 21 year old son on his birthday. I use somd of his comfortable clothes for myself to sleep in. I only boxed up and donated things that were good will donations if they have no use for anyone and no sentimental value. I'm doing this just at no particular pace but when the spirit moves me.

I had similar thoughts at about 3 mos after my husband passed away but was conflicted about making a decision. I'm now at 6 mos and am glad I didn't let things go as they became more important as time passed. I'm just now thinking I'm ready to maybe pack up some of his things that don't have as much sentimental value. I too talk to his photos. They're still all exactly where they were when he died. Long story short there is no "right" time. If you're not sure, my best advice is don't do anything. You'll know when you're ready and don't let others try and push you into it either. Hope this helps. Hugs, Liz.

Everyone is different . . . and to "thine ownself be true". When you are ready to let go, you will feel it, know it and hen own it. Until then . . . you don't have to be in a hurry to get rid of anything! I'm 9 months in and I'm letting go in baby stages, some things are easier than others. I've had to ask for help to clear some closet space and put a few things away; didn't mean I got rid of, just removed from my everyday view and memories.

Relax and trust your own voice and time-lines. When you are ready, you will find the strength to "let go" fully . . or maybe you will hang on partially until the end. Again, there is no exact time-line or text book for receiving an "A" for effort and accomplishment.

Be gentle with self and don't try to push things. All comes together in due time . . .

Warm and big hug to you. Hang in there. Dayna

You can hang on to everything that you want and don't let anyone tell you different. It's been 7 years for me and I still have his written BP and glucose levels he wrote everyday. As for talking to a picture, I kissed my husband's picture every morning and every night. I slept with his sweatshirt and cried my heart out before I was ready to begin to live again. Sharon

I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with everyone's input - you'll know when the time is right and don't let anyone push you into making changes you are not ready to make.

I didn't think I would ever move his car keys, eye glasses, wallet, all of those wonderful everyday things. But when looking at them caused me more sorrow than comfort, I bought a nice box to hold them. That way, they are still close at hand, out of sight, but not out of mind.

Good luck and be easy with yourself.

I am so sorry for your loss. Reading some of your journal, you really have had a difficult time.
I agree with everyone here keep whatever you want, when it's time to let go of things you w ill know.
I still have my husbands favourite sneakers on his side of the bed. Like Sharon my husband Ben's photo gets a kiss ( on his lips) morning and night. I still wear some. Of his sweaters and t shirts....just to feel close to him...it's really comforting, when missing him is beyond bearable. I am thinking of you and your girls over there in Britain.
I am glad you joined our DS family. We are a lovely bunch of people,
Who really care for each other....WELCOME!
Love Sandra

Thank you all for your kind words and support I really do appreciate it.

Hugs to all x

Eeyore, what an adorable avatar that you've chosen.

I'm 21 month's into this club. I haven't touched a picture......Oh! Wait, the one that always moved itself on the wall finally got removed but the kazillion other's are all still hanging up......we had such a great life together......the last few were pretty sucky but the early and middle one's were amazing and will stay in my memory bank forever.

Do what makes you feel right and good. Don't move too fast and make rash decisions it will happen in it's own good time. I can't believe all that I've achieved in less than two years.

Take care,
Roz ;o)

I still have all of his suits, sport coats, trousers, and overcoats. To be truthful, after seventeen months, I have to remind myself that they are in the bedroom he used for his alone time. I did donate his ties, shirts and some of his shoes. There is no time limit. I know some widows who have clothes after five years.

After almost 3 months, I've finally decided to try to sell her car. Every time I open the garage door or go in the garage I get that "twinge" - and after selling the car I'm sure seeing the empty space will give me a jolt for awhile also.

Eeyore...I donated most of his clothing around 3 months...removed our play totes at that time as well. I still have 3 jackets in my closet...I made 3 nice treasure boxes for our grandsons with special items. I still have 2 drawers full of Harley T shirts but I am planning on have quilts made for our kids with them. At a year and a half I was able to remove his stuff out of the shower...and put his slippers in the closet. When I did those 2 things I had planned to get myself a nice robe and throw his out....I hated and loved that robe but needed to wear it...here I am at 25 months and YESTERDAY I bought myself a nice fluffy pink robe..his goes in the garbage after I post this...actually it was this post that nagged the back of my mind so thank you for this...I hate when my mind tells me what I should do but my heart says no....and that happens a lot but as I am learning how to tuck things away in my heart like a special treasure chest ...I am able to do these things.

Only when you feel that you want to do it. I was a year and half in before I tackled clearing out personal items. I looked at the closet and said, I really need that space for my shoes! Started cleaning it out and didn't burst into tears. I still have two bins of special treasured items, that include the last shirt he wore, never washed, still smells like him. And I am OK with it and that is all that is important. When you are OK with it, no time line, no pressure.

Hugs,
Valerie