I know what you mean. A tree he planted in front yard, when we bought this house. died. I need it cut down, everytime i look at it, i cry, can't get anyone to cut it down . Everytime I open the the front door, is a constant reminder. been 11 weeks for me

I have that all the time, july is 3 years for me, but everyone is different, just because I still do, doesnt mean u will. Todd

your pain it's raw and it's normal to feel pain every time you see you did for your spouse.
I can speak only for myself but it took me over a year to be able to see her pictures, but now it's getting better or maybe l am getting used to see everything around the house, to answer your question.
yes it still hurts but not as bad, l am at my 2 year and 9 mos. mark.
but yes it is a little easier.

love and peace in your heart. Hector

When my sister died at 37 from breast cancer.., she got married the night before. Her husband left everything where she left it, and wouldn't move anything, nor let anyone touch it. He did that for 10 years, he was diabetic, and did not take care of himself. He died, when he died, his mother took her things to my other sisters house. I think he never stopped grieving. And they had been married less than 24 hours..... So sad...

"Do these thoughts pop into your mind less frequently as time goes on?"

Yes -
It's very different at 3 months out than my almost 6 years out due to evolving; resolution & difference of perspective ...
They are no longer gut wrenching -
They no longer just "pop"into my mind, there's a gentle subtleness to my memories of DH ... loving & being loved -
Sometimes, seeing something will have a significance associated w/DH that I'm not able to put together till a later time -
I, no longer berate myself when I forget b/c I've learned I will never forget DH or our love -

Hope this helps -

7 months for me and I do the same thing. I can't stop looking at her pictures. I search for old pictures on my old hard drives and in the closets and anywhere i might have stashed them. I have her purse just as she left it. Her wig, (she was undergoing chemo), is still beside her bedside just where she left it before she went to the Dr the last day she was home. Just today I found an old receipt for her lumpectomy, just happened to be a year ago today. That made my day worse....

ok 18 months.....i can look at pictures and think of when he hung them or when he fixed this or that, and smile, i feel a peace with him having done those things. I can still get tearful but not at every day things he did or we did. In the first few months i could not look at tv shows we watched together, i do now. Still songs get to me...but not always...i would say everyone processes things differently but I feel pride in our love. Sad he is not of this earth, but much differently than at 3-6-9-12 months

at 11 weeks...... it just seems like a long time to begin any healing for me. I don't think it will ever happen....

I still have all those thoughts at 19 months. I do hope it gets better after while. This is just so painful.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have these all the time. I'm not that far along so cannot speak to the glideslope of coping. At this point for me everything has the potential to push me into sorrow, she was such a part of my life. This hurts on all levels.

After 4 1/2 years my emotions seems got blended; the loving memories of our life together are mixed with the foggy memories of the raw agony and desparate darkness which I had experienced during my mourning .

Today both feelings surface in a very subtle, quiet way. The loving memories bring peaceful gratitude for a blessing of having someone like him in my life. Sadness is ever-present, but it is not as powerful as used to be, so I can experience other emotions, and joy of being here, being alive ad hopeful. I look at the photos, and smile; sometimes my eyes get misty, but I feel mostly warmth, not pain.

It took time, many tears, many compassionate hugs, many kind gestures. My friends and family support was very important, as it was my determination to reach full recovery from that despair and pain.

I've travelled a long road, but I would not have done it without help of many many good people, including my friends from DS.

I wish I could say it takes only a few months, but I don't believe in speed in these matters.
Warm hug.

It is two months for me and I wonder the same...after 53 years of marriage-now a big empty house. I live on the northshore of Massachusetts and have gone to senior centers looking for new people to meet...I find this a difficult thing to do. Why can't I find a widower, in the same type of circumstance, that might want to occasionally have dinner or go to the movies? I find the evenings so long....

Yesterday was one year for me. I am one of those that have barely moved anything. As for trees? shrubs, rosebushes? Wow. We did an awful lot of planting. I decided what I would like and brought it home. Saturdays where"Okay, where do you want me to dig a hole this time?" Though he did a lot of the grunt work for me. He thought of them as mine, I thought of them as ours. Each one is a memory of us working together. At first last year I was so upset when the blooms started, I mean "how dare Spring happen?" upset. The first time I tried to put in the annuals that are for accents, I was a heap of crying mess on the ground. Because he would not see the "magic" happen. He always said he loved how are yard looked like a rainbow landed on our street. The planting took longer to do last year and was not as much, since he was my muscle. As the summer went on the blooms actually gave me some comfort, a reminder that he was here. So go out and give the tree some love and fertilizer, then tell her thank you, for this reminder of her love.

At 2 and one half years I can say that "yes" there does come a time when the edges of the pain are much softer, the memories sweet and not painful; and thankfulness for the time together takes the place of the hurt and anger of being apart. Be patient and gentle with yourself; and let time be your friend and guide. You will be ok. Wishing you every good and wonderful blessing always. Sharon k.

Still get them thoughts 14 months later. The memories can NEVER be taken away...