Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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What would our loved ones want for us

rerouting
rerouting

What would our loved ones want for us...


This has been in my spirit and on my mind constantly...


I can hear my husband speaking to me plain as day to my spirit often about me enjoying life for him and taking care of myself and the kids and keeping up with the things he kept up with and he's looking forward to being with us again and how much he loved us.He would never want us living down and out...not enjoying everyday life,letting everything that's important go down,he would never want us to forget him but never would he want us grieving ourselves to an early death or for sure sickness for neglecting our bodies and minds.This is only my opinion about my husband of 29 years...I'm sorry if it offend anyone...I didn't post it to hurt anyone's  feelings,it's just what get me through the day and night...so I thought it may be a Blessing to someone on the site that's as broken as I am

lindonn
lindonn
God bless you! You are so right! Our spouses would not want us to grieve ourselves into an early grave. Your thoughts are not offensive at all. It is just so hard when you first lose your love....I personally feel raw, like an open wound. I cry often and talk to my husband, hoping he can hear me. But it is important to take care of oneself. When I feel really low, I read a devotion or my Bible. I pray and ask for God's help. I can't imagine many years of life without my husband. But I will move on and try to live a life that would make him proud of me.

I pray that your days are brighter, that you smile more often and that God gives you peace of mind and heart. .....Linda
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
It's a thought that we need to be aware of more often. After almost 2 years I am only recently able to get outside of my own thoughts of sadness and despair to think about things from the perspective of what my husband would want for us. I recently was on a vacation and had the thought of him being so happy I was enjoying myself. sometimes it helps to have a new perspective and this is a worthwhile one.
rerouting
rerouting
I'm so grateful my post was received with such kindness...thanks for commenting,God Bless
Ihatecancer
Ihatecancer
Wonderful post rerouting, thanks for sharing, I needed to hear that!
YAM
YAM
Thank You , my husband would tell me the same ....
He always said life is hard, but also "beautiful " !!
I still have difficulty with that sentence , because it still hurts so much, not having him around us anymore
raininseattle
raininseattle
Thanks for the words of blessing. True words to live by.
rerouting
rerouting
Goodmorning to everyone,
I'm so excited that all of you has found peace with my post...my only regret is that I didn't post it sooner☹️I'm new,and the widows fog was getting the best of me but...I knew in my heart that my husband wouldn't want me to go through what I was going through.I had a sense of restlessness about my husband spirit as though he wasn't at peace because I wasn't at peace.Once I picked myself up and dried my eyes and got my mind right and started handling the business that no one else could...I was able to feel he was finally at peace because I was taking care of self once again.Blessings and Peace of mind to all of you
handg
handg
Thank You for sharing and giving comfort with your words. Feeling that this is what he would want for me was what got me going for days, months and even the first few years until I finally started wanting it for myself.
It was hard to hear "He would not want you to..." True words from some who did not know my pain yet so hard to digest just the same. Those reminders and knowing the truth myself had me facing forward , fall, pick myself up and keep going.
Your words are the truth, not offensive and the perfect tool to be reminded off.
xoxo
scottito
scottito
Hi Rerouting. Nice post. At 28 months in, I picture my dear wife looking down at me from heaven and just shaking her head at some of my knuckleheadedness. One thing is for certain, I lost my anchor and the only one that seemed to be able to steer me back to the middle of the road, ever patiently I might add. I tend to be a ditch runner, on one side of the road or the other, sometimes both ditches at the same time. But about the same time I begin to come to my senses again, I picture her again and again, just shaking her head, rolling her eyes, and saying to me in the most loving voice, "Oh, Scottie". Love is eternal, and it is nice to know that all of us have someone that will continue to love us forever. Thanks for the post!
rerouting
rerouting
Scottie,
Thanks for the reply...I'm very sorry for the lost of your wife☹️ I picture my husband a lot,especially when I let the gas tank get low...that drove him nuts...that was one of the things he loved doing for me (I really miss that) keeping the gas tank full.I didn't realize how much I grew to depend on all the he did for us on a daily basis I miss everything about him☹️☹️☹️....I know he has developed whiplash by now
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
My sweet sean always use to tell me, I always get things done, and I am strong. I imagine, him coming to me, hugging, and kissing me, and giving me the biggest high five ever. He use to tell me to go and have fun, quit worrying and it'll all work out. The things I was so anal about, or compulsive about, have all fell to the wayside, and for that I know my sean would be happy.. that I'm taking time out to enjoy some fun ,and peace, and happiness. Its been 2 years and 6 months, and it never really goes away, you just choose life, instead of dying while still here on earth, when our loved ones want us to continue on for ourselves, and in their memories. Much love and hugs carla
Deodarglow
Deodarglow
Jordan would always say thanks Carol when I would do something he appreciated. So now I hear his voice and that heartfelt thanks Carol when I get a job done around the home or when I am kind to an animal or when I take his truck out for a spin. At 25 months out, I think he would be really happy with where I am in life now. True what Carla said. It never really goes away, you just have to choose life.
MothSpirit
MothSpirit
Thank you for your heartfelt post. Faith has helped me get through the really dark times. Faith in God and in my fellow man. One year and one month today since my wonderful soulmate artist husband best friend love Robert passed. We were married 44 years, he was 16 years older. Tonight my new friend held me and I cried on his shoulder and I thanked him for daring to love someone so hurt and aching, who chose to go forward and try to find joy in the little things, and always remember the wonderful things we shared. Before he died, Robert told me to go and live my life, and I am trying, together with friends, and all of you. Bless you all for being here.
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