I am sorry for your loss. Much love to you. What you need to do is to take one day, even one hour at a time. Everyone on this board understands what you are going through. We are there for you, always.
Do what you are able to do for yourself. If you need to be alone, do so. If you need others around you, ask for your family and friends to be there for you.
What helped me was to stay with my son for awhile. I was able to get away for a week and it helped.
What you are feeling now is shock. Try to get enough rest if you can, try to eat enough to keep up your strength. Get help with the everyday things you need to do. Come to this website for comfort every time you feel the need. Hugs to you. Judith

My heart goes out to you, as this is the toughest thing you'll ever live through. It's gut-wrenching pain that seems never-ending, but it finally slows down to an almost unnoticeable pace. Hang on tight and let the days be what they are. Some days you will have the energy needed to function; other days you will fall in a puddle and can't move off dead center. Do not let those days distress you. They are normal and a right of passage of sorts. Our grief and our tears will not be denied. Those tears of grief change into sweet tears of remembrance; our perspective changes from despair to hopefulness; and our feelings change from numb to tasting life's goodness once again, all this while hope rises to the surface. The most important thing to remember is that the intensity with which you are feeling your loss will diminish. Your loss is so new and my words of encouragement probably ring hollow to you right now. But you will wake up one morning and feel hope beat within you. You may not have planned for it, but it will happen. It's the way life unfolds for the survivor. The roller coaster of emotions does come to a halt at some point! Daily Strength is a great place to bring your thoughts, expressing them to those who have traveled the same path. We care and we're here to offer encouragement and hope. Blessings to you. TJ

(((hugs))) I am sorry. You have come to the right place, though. Everyone is wonderful and...well...we are all in the same situation.
Some incredible people and advice in DS.

love,
Carla

I am so sorry for your loss! Wish I were there so I could give you a big hug! Oh, what can I tell you? The healing process is so different for everyone, but I guess first off, try to surround yourself with supportive people and don't be afraid to ask for what you need; practical, emotional or otherwise. People so often want to help but don't know what you need or want. Secondly, don't expect too much of yourself right now; let your feelings guide you, get your rest and nutrition, cry, do things that comfort you. Know that you have the right to grieve in any way you want, and that it takes time and is hard work. Be gentle with yourself; make YOU your greatest priority right now. What helped me: I attended a weekly grief support group two months after he passed, and did some reading. This helped me know what to expect, what I needed to do, and to be more comfortable with it. I also have several friends who are widows,and though we don't discuss our losses a lot, it is healing to me just to be with them. A divorced friend gave me the names of repairmen and such. I was still working, but due to a combination of events, did retire this past year. I made a goal to move closer to my daughter in Oregon (from the midwest), but did decide to wait until this spring; it will be 18 months. I ordered his monument last spring, and it was placed by Memorial Day. Each step has brought me some peace and closure.

I know you will get some great advice and support from others on this site too. So glad you found us, and we are glad to have you here, but sad for the reason.

Love and Hugs to you at this very difficult time. Right now, just take care of you; and lean on those who love you and are there to help you. Feel what you need to feel, when you need to, as often as you need to, be patient and gentle with yourself. Everything is so new and surreal for you right now, but it will get better. You are at a good place here at DS, come here as often as you need to. What helped me was being surrounded by friends and family for the first few weeks; being able to talk about my husband with those who also knew and loved him; and knowing in my heart that as much as I missed him; I couldn't wish him back to the struggle with cancer he had. We are here for you whenever you need us. Sending you gentle hugs and wishes for peace.

So sorry you are here for these reasons. But you found the right place. I am at 2 months and 11 days, and could ,WOULD not have made it some nights without the people here. I still have to come here regularly, to get through the rough spots. Your feelings are raw, and will be for some time. Feel free to vent , cry , scream, or if need just sit back and read others post. You will see that others are experiencing the same things that make us all wonder if we are crazy, but here we realize we are not crazy, just heart broken. Prayers to you

I always feel so bad when someone new appears in this group. I am so sorry for your loss, he was so young. My husband was only 57. For the first few weeks you are in such a fog you don't even function well. You don't sleep, you cry a lot and feel like everyone has gone on with their lives and you are left alone. Only those who have gone through the loss of a spouse understand how we feel. As the fog lifts you will be faced with business that needs to be taken care of. Take one day at a time one step at a time. You have found a community of support, understanding, kindness and compassion. It has been a Godsend for me. I am a year and three months, it does get easier but it takes time.
Linda

Take one day at a time. Don't force yourself to do anything. As for me, I'm taking Spainish and spending time with my grandkids. Not much else due to my full-time job.

I am so glad you found this site. It helped me tremendously during the first several weeks. Remember to take things one step at a time. Drink plenty of water (crying can be dehydrating). Keep a pen and paper handy and whenever you think of something that needs to be done write it on the list (sometimes it can be hard to remember things when you are consumed by grief). Whenever someone says "Just let me know if you need anything," take out the list and ask them to chose something. Reach out when you feel lonely. Never feel embarrassed by the strong emotions you are feeling. -Shelli

I am so sorry for your loss and your pain, and I'm glad you found this site. I found it by chance when 7 months after I'd lost my husband and it has been great help. There are many truly caring people who understand what grief is like here.
It's so hard at first that it's almost impossible to believe it will ever get better, but please know that it does, little by little. The pain will still be there but we learn to live with it, so it becomes easier. Take it one minute at a time, and be good to yourself: cry when you feel like it, and get enough sleep if you can. Let us know how you are doing.
Many hugs, Sil

So very sorry for your pain and loss. You've done a very important thing already.....reaching out. As everyone has said.....One day, one hour and even one minute at a time. Although probably not your norm, try to hold off on important decisions, so that grief will not be your driving force in making them. It's very important to allow yourself to grieve and do it in portions that you can process without sight that you still need to care for you. May God Bless your new journey and send comfort to give you a soft landing from all the dark moments that are part of grieving. Molly

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are experiencing. All the advice you have been given here is great, people here are ahead of you on the same path. It has been said before in the posts above, but I would re-iterate:
Make no big decisions for one to two years
Do not be in a hurry, take one day at a time
The trials of coping without your partner can become as overwhelming as your grief.
I am also in a group that meets every other week, that helps because I can help others - as we do on this site. By helping others we help ourselves heal.

At 11 days you are still in shock. I was still making arrangements, taking care of insurance, etc. After a month or two I started rebuilding at a slow pace.

And remember, you are not alone.

God bless.

I am so sorry for your loss...your post has brought me to tears...my heart goes out to you. My husband was 52 years old...a life cut short too. For me ...God has given me the strength to continue looking forward to my future in heaven with my husband.I hunt through the scriptures for peace and strength. My husband has been gone 19 months...with time the pain has becames more manageable...it is a daily walk with God holding my hands. God says "He is the husband to the widows"...so I am trusting Him to take care of me. I have my down days, but I know I am not alone...~blessings~ Debbie

I want to add also I am so sorry for your loss. Here is a hug from the Pacific Northwest.
1) Do not let anyone tell you how to react. We have all been there, while many ways are the same, everyone has their own reaction & timing. Do not beat yourself up.

2) Ask for help when you need it. Yet ask for alone time when you need it. Both I feel come up.

3) In beginning you are in shock, or a fog. To me once you start coming out of it, the pain seeps in harder for awhile. Take each day each moment in "baby steps" Some days you are unable to do anything, other days you are gun ho on getting something done.

4) Most important TAKE care of you.

5) If you ever need to cry, vent whatever this is the place - I found after awhile friends and family did not want to hear anymore....we listen well I hope I listen well too

Always saddened when I see a new loss......this is a hard journey, and it is so good you found this site right away..........am a bit over a year into life on my own and so many have already given great advice...............if you can find a VNA group with monthly or weekly meetings, that can sometimes be of value for the face to face contact alone...............also, I got a recorder and talked or cried into in ..........also kept a journal...........and journaled some on this site............the hope I can give is that while still figuring things out, and missing Norm so, I am better than I was last year at this time...........always hated to hear.....day by day, hour by hour or minute by minute................ but that truly is what I have learned..............I would be happy to talk with you at anytime if you would like to call, or me to call you..........you are so right when you stay only those who have actually been through this understand.............blessings my friend.............
Lori