When I feel the walls are closing in on me, I will get in the car and drive downtown, to Walmart etc. It helps to get a change of scenery. I really need to step out of my comfort zone and get involved in the communtity. I'm just really a loner at heart.

I decided at three months that I would not let grief take me over. It is an effort to try to stay positive, count my blssings and not let the loneliness of it consume me. I did pretty well tull the sixth month where I fell into the pit of grief where I wallowed for two months. It took me that long to pass the emotion and realization of the half a year mark. I worried about passing my year mark but we had a gathering that was joyful memories and eased me into the start of my second year. For me other family member's lives changed the focus, not always though. There are still times when I feel myself slipping and I make my best effort not to go there. It all just takes time..
Linda

I sometimes just allow my self to cry and feel it then I suck it up and take a walk or call one of my kids to remind myself that I still have people who care.

I get myself outside or out of the house and just go anywhere!

The two things that were most important for me was 1) private counseling and 2) a bereavement support group. I'm a loner by nature, but I am now also rejoined into life and listening to my own heart.

I'd watch ridiculous comedies - never the romantic kind mind you (those were too painful) - but the more silly the better. I re-discovered The Marx Brothers, developed a new appreciation for The Three Stooges, and managed to find some other oldie comedies. Pure escapism, and it felt good to laugh - I had felt like I was forgetting how to laugh.

I watched anything that had no romance or hardly any romance in it - old Star Treks, every WWII submarine movie ever made, various action adventure movies (basically 2 hours of explosions and breaking glass - mindless entertainment).

I did do all the serious stuff too - counseling, journaling, reading books on grief, exercise, etc. But sometimes I just had to have a silly moment or I thought I would lose my mind.

Hope this helps. Love and Hugs, Martha

At the moment there is nothing that gets me out of the "hole". There is the running around with the kids and work. That seems to be it. I am not finding one thing that gives me the peace I know I must find. The idea of reading books about grief is somewhere I do not want to go. I have grief so I do not want to read about it. The local grief group is something I tried one time. I will not go back to the zoo. Some of the past suggestions have seen on this board are to take a class or join a book club. I can be bored staying home folding laundry. Maybe I will never find what I am looking for.

Maggie

I have to agree with limasc...get out of the house or the car and get some air. Walk, jog, bike or just sit on a bench but breath in some new, fresh air.
No matter what your interests or your local support groups, sometimes you just have to breath!
Cindy xxoo

I declare I have been practicing breathing since this began. I thought I knew how, but I was wrong. Sometimes I sit in the back yard and breath. Sometimes I sit in the car when I come home and take 2 or 3 minutes to breath before moving the bags or just myself into the house. I used to be the first out of the gate. Now I am as slow as I can even imagine. Just breath is more than a saying. Good luck, Fern

If you don't have a pet, get one. It takes the focus off of you, and you have to care for them. They also give unconditional love. It helps you to get out of the house to walk them too.
Paula

I know I am probably crazy but I talk to my dog as if she was my husband. Sometimes as she tilts her little head back and forth listening to my every word...I think she even understands me.....Hugs Lu Ann

For me, nature does wonders. Anyway to get where there are trees, birds, a lake or the beach, even a pond with long legged birds walking. Clouds drifting by in different shapes. I like to be alone, so I am very much at home in nature by myself.

Any change in what your are doing when you realize you are very depressed, will help. A ride in the car. Buy an ice cream cone. Feel the sun and breezes on your skin.

Best wishes for a better mood!!
Kathleen

In the earlier days, I would just get in the car and go anywhere, usually walking Walmart. I had difficulty staying at home during the day just thinking. That changed later and my home became a comfort. I have my 2 cats who are my best buds. At about 6 months I reconnected with old high school friends and we take short trips together. I learned how to laugh again on those girl trips. I thought I wouldn't ever really laugh again. We just fell back into our old routines and silliness. Last, but not least, my son, DIL, and grandchildren have provided so much emotional support and are here for me anytime. Take care, Sandra

Thanks, guys, You are brilliant! I favor counseling, greif groups, finding someone to help out, exercise, calling a freind who has been there, going to 12 step meetings and watching silly sitcoms on NetFlix. My dogs are a big help too. I talk to my husband and pray a lot.
I read the Bible and books about the afterlife. I make gratitude lists.
Together we'll get through this. On my own I will not. Love too all.

I am at 30 mo. and some days are very hard for sure. Being on DS has been such a help, though.
I just want to send hugs to you. Praying for us all! Darlene