It is one of the hardest journeys you will do..i have done this twice..once 38 years ago and now 36 years with my second husband who just passed this past March. Breathe...and never fight it..the more you fight the anguish the longer it will last...Talk to people you like and love..we here on this site all know how hard this is to climb out of... (( Hugs )))

I don't think she'd want you to keep living the same way each day because it does keep making you sad and cry.

Last Thanksgiving/Christmas was the first year without DH and I didn't do anything with the baby for either one but sit and mope in the house. My ma told me make sure this year I start new holiday traditions with baby because that's what DH would want. So I have and yes I cry because he's not here, as a matter of fact baby got one of his toys today and I started bawling and 'talking' to DH saying it's so unfair that he's not here. It's hard to try to do things without your spouse not sharing them with you, however there's going to have to come a time when you're going to have to come out of that corner you're hiding in, and only you know when you're ready with no rush. Sending big hugs!

I really feel for you. I continue to have a hard time pushing myself to do things out of my comfort zone. You are grieving how you are grieving and I am a firm believer that each of us do it on our own terms. There is no right or wrong way. So sorry for your loss.

Im grieving I think I cry every day and when I'm work someone as me how I'm doing I say OK then I tear up right after they turn away .I feel lonely so I always looking for someone on my phone text or talk to past time.

Hectares you are never alone. We are all walking around in a state of numb, and heart broken. We too are facing the same issues you are. We all cry, we all morn, we all want to hear and see them. But know we have a group of us all suffering from the same thing has made me feel better. I know I'm not the only one. It's important to remember we have this group. Yes I just found it. But I feel better knowing I'm not alone.

Hector, I will listen!! I will cry too. But we can't dwell on the should've, could've. They wouldn't want that.

Thank you , I know that I can share what if feelings here and glad I found it. I guess im so use to her being here next me even if it was me watching TV and she be doing her sewing so didn't have to be talking with each other to know we were in presence other. That a big part of my loneliness .

Hi Hector. I am so very sorry for your loss. It's different for everyone, of course, but I find for me, personally, it is better that I do not keep the same routine that I had when my husband was alive. My beloved Steve was sick for 16 months before he died and, while it was horrible to watch, it did give us a chance to talk about things. We both agreed that after he was gone I should NOT try to live the same life as before, minus him, but instead I should have a new life. And that is what I am trying to do. It's only been a few months but I have already established a few new routines: walking in the early morning, eating supper later than we did when he was alive, and visiting the botanical gardens at least once a month. I watch different TV shows than before, too. It is what works for me and hopefully, you will find what works for you.

Sylvia

I read everything I and i believe I should go with a new life but its hard not to think that she might be thinking that I never really like what we did when she was alive cuz change routine

I had to keep some routines the same as I have our two sons, so somethings had to continue on the same way, but we also needed to make some little changes, too. For example, one of the hardest things was the way we ate dinner; when Cliff was alive, we sat 2 and 2. After he died, it just emphasized he wasn't in his chair - that dang empty chair really bothered us and made dinner time awful. We stopped sitting in the same spots, and instead sat around the table. No more staring at that empty chair - and big sigh of relief!

Make small changes - "baby steps" - at first. Some things will work and some won't, and that is perfectly fine. It will take some time for you to find a new way that is comfortable for you.

Love and Hugs,
Martha