Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband was killed at work 3 19 2018 . I feel like he went to work and they kept him. Now his work is in the middle of my life and I want them to just leave me alone . I'm finding it hard to have patience. I'm having a hard time even writing this. He was alone , scared , knew he was going to die. That bothers me. He was so me and I him, Don't know if you understand what I mean.
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Today I feel grateful. Grateful for my dog Blue (Blue Jean Baby Queen, Prettiest girl I've ever seen). Grateful I'm still kickin'. Grateful I'm finally taking responsibility for my health. Grateful I own my home. Grateful for good friends and neighbors who watch over me. Grateful to God for His everlasting love and patience with me. Grateful I survived the 10 years since my wife of 30 years...
Much mercy to you. I know that the passing of you dear husband is consumed with impatience. I understand how writing is difficult for you. It is difficult to relax, and so many emotional expressions draining you physically and mentally. When my husband passed on (3 yrs ago) it was difficult for me to too. Yet my faith-based beliefs inspired and encouraged me to live on, because he would want that, compassions fail not, in the weight of all that drains you, comfort is still there for you in the form of true love. Allow the memory of you husband's love to nourish you with good supportive strength. And if it helps to know this, it is very likely that your husband transitioned as painless; for at that time of death, many express great feelings of love comfort, many drift off peacefully, as with taking a nap. Likely the thought of the accident is what causes you to doubt that he went peacefully. Most people under stress of a nightmare death relive the incident and are unable to relax as the troubling images interfere with the ability to think or function normally.
As things may not swiftly change for the better of your emotional health (grief episodes run severe at given times), I hope that finding a skilled therapist will help you to manage the aggressive thoughts, and do make certain that you explore not only the stress but do seek for a complete medical check-over, just to be certain that the excessive stress is not serious enough to interfere with other bodily conditions. The point is to get you to better good feelings, with lots of energy and healthy sleep patterns. Please pay close attention to getting better. I hope this for you!
More love to you and great hugs! It is good that you are opening up to share your thoughts and feelings. Ready help is always available. God bless.
If your husband died at work, you should talk with a lawyer who handles worker claims. I am assuming his job is at you right now because they know they will have to resolve a claim against them for your husband's death. If you don't already have a lawyer, you can contact your local bar association to get a referral. Every bar association has some form of referral service. There are times when having an attorney can make a big difference, and this is one of those times. You can also check your house insurance to see if it included any legal services. Some policies have that. Whatever you do, don't sign anything from his workplace without consulting someone.
I am so sorry this has happened to you.
Love and Hugs,
Martha