Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have been struggling with what my purpose in life is now. Have any of you had this same issue or came up with answer to this question?
My wife of 50 years and best friend for 53 years died in June, 2018. Then I lost my mother in Decmber, 2018. Now that I have finished all of the after death work, what is my purpose of life now? When you are young, you are growing, going to school, and playing with friends. As you move on to high school, you are still going to school, play sports, and looking for a mate. Then, you go to college. Then, you get married, work, begin a family, buy and fix up houses, move between jobs and different locations. There is always something you are working towards - there are always goals you want to accomplish.
Now, I am retired, my kids have their own families and interests. I no longer have my best friend to do things with. I do play bridge in 3 different groups and volunteer with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (my wife died from Mantel Cell Lymphoma). I could travel, but I just don't see doing that without my wife; it just wouldn't be the same. I could go back to work, but that creates several tax issues once you are retired and have to take Requirement Minmum Distributions from your IRA.
What am I supposed to do with the rest of my live now? I am 71, so I have 20 years or so left. Anyone one have any answers or ideas?
I am married yet alone.
I have nobody but myself as I grieve and feel loss while she is alive.
Women avoid me like a plague because I am married. It’s a couples world out there.
I have learned that I matter and “ I am the straw the stirs the drink “.
Or as Abe Lincoln once said - “ people are as happy as they make up their minds to be “.
Like yourself I rely on the simple things ! It sounds awful to say but Although she is still alive after 11 years I have moved on.
I have had too.
Best to you.