Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I was thinking what I would tell (and have told) recent widows that helps.
I came up with:
family
friends
a local support group
a counselor to help me with the trauma of sudden death
my dogs and cats
a neighbor (til she died)
my 12 step groups
having work, enough money
working on lawn, house
an DS, DS,DS! (always available to read or write, true understanding)
grief books (I liked ABOUT GREIF and 7 STAGES of GREIF)
I think DS really is first. It is so great. But I'm not sure I can put them in order, and even with families and friends, there were some downright ugly things said and done. Most was good.
I am almost to a year. I have a feeling that next year is going to be the the Year of Keeping Busy. What do you think?
I came up with:
family
friends
a local support group
a counselor to help me with the trauma of sudden death
my dogs and cats
a neighbor (til she died)
my 12 step groups
having work, enough money
working on lawn, house
an DS, DS,DS! (always available to read or write, true understanding)
grief books (I liked ABOUT GREIF and 7 STAGES of GREIF)
I think DS really is first. It is so great. But I'm not sure I can put them in order, and even with families and friends, there were some downright ugly things said and done. Most was good.
I am almost to a year. I have a feeling that next year is going to be the the Year of Keeping Busy. What do you think?
Big Bear Hugs
Ralph
Maggie
Ok, i dont really have voices in my head..........shut up in there i'm trying to write
Nessie from KY
It was very good therapy. Nerfmom
All the things you have listed are so helpful!
I don't have a dag because of allergies, but do have fish from Greg, and they are something that I had to take care of and it did help.
My work, with kids has helped alot also, because they do take your mind off your troubles. They demand it!!! lol
the best thing that helped me was DS. Coming here, I didn't feel like I had to hide it all. I had so many people telling me what to do, how to do, when to do, etc. and I couldn't understand them, and the more I tried to "DO" these things the more I failed. When I came here I learned that it is OK to NOT be strong all the time, and to just let myself FEEL it, without beating myself up everytime I did.
For me talking with people who have been where I was, helped me to realize that what I was going through was normal, and at some point, I would be able to keep going.
GREAT post and GREAT suggestions!
HUGS Diane
Writing these little things on DS for me is like taking a big exhale.
It's as if I've been holding my breath for the last 2 years, and writing really does help.
Reading fiction helps calm my nerves.
Surprisingly, because I haven't attended a meeting in years, what I learned in AA years ago comes back to me here and there, and helps a lot.
Daily Strength has been exactly that....my daily strength. Everyone has been fantastic and of course totally understanding.
My two beautiful, loving dogs.
No family, but one very good friend.
Several very kind neighbors.
My recently acquired therapist
My beloved computer.
I still cry every day tho.....and am unbelievably sad because I miss my sweet hero husband. Being a widow really sucks.
......nice and caring neighbors...nice to know they are next door on either side of me if really needed
......friends
...I have found the "Healing Conversations" Group at my Church (we are in the 4th of 6 sessions) to be miraculous....can't say why..it is SO SAD but it is filled with something so special I can't describe it. Everyone ends up crying but there is something so soothing about crying with one's minister and others who are truly deeply grieving....hearing other people's stories (two mothers who have lost children to suicide, one 15 y/o, one 20's, two lost moms one whose hus decided to leave her when her mom died, and 3 widows/ widowers.....) while for the most part each kind of sorrow and loss has its differences, there is something very healing about hearing these differences right now......I will find it hard when this group ends.....
Mom, who is a good listener
Bronwyn, my dog who is also a good listener
My sister Jeannie, who cries and rails at fate because Alan is gone. It is good to know someone else really sincerely grieves Alan.
Grief books. Each one has added a little something that helps
Walking in the woods.
Praying.
All my wonderful friends.
My grandchildren. My 3 yr old grandson was visiting from out of state on my first wedding anniversary without my husband. I was so busy keeping up with him that I didn't have time to feel sorrowful.