Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I found this site out of desperation. I felt like no one else ever had been in such pain or had witnessed someone suffer so much as I had while my husband was fighting cancer. DS has taught me that it not the case. And, I am very grateful for that .
As soon as I signed on to DS I received messages from several ladies expressing their sympathy, support and knowledge of the pain I am in. This was a real eye opener. I logically knew lots of people have their spouse/loved one die. Somehow, hearing from those of you who have written to me, sent me hugs, or responded to postings made it seem more real and more comforting. Thank you to each one of you who have contacted me in any manner.
I also learned that even though I feel incredible pain and sorrow and have horrid memories many of you carry a much more heavy burden. Many of you valiant people out there men & women alike, are dealing with extra situations that I do not have to face. Many of you are now single parents, many of you suffer from poor health in many different ways, some of you are still care givers for sick family members. Some of you are just as desperate to end your pain as I feel at times. All of you have made me feel very humble as you are all dealing with whatever your situation is with determination and courage. In spite of what you yourself are experiencing you are eager to give others words of encouragement and support.
I have also learned that the weird things I have been experiencing are actually considered "normal". While that doesn't make it feel better it is at least reassuring. In addition, I have learned from the example you are setting for me to keep on trying.
So, thanks to each one of you. Although I do not know any of you I feel like you are an important part of my life and support system. Thank you for the lessons you have been teaching me and for the caring that is given to all who are on DS.
Darlene
As soon as I signed on to DS I received messages from several ladies expressing their sympathy, support and knowledge of the pain I am in. This was a real eye opener. I logically knew lots of people have their spouse/loved one die. Somehow, hearing from those of you who have written to me, sent me hugs, or responded to postings made it seem more real and more comforting. Thank you to each one of you who have contacted me in any manner.
I also learned that even though I feel incredible pain and sorrow and have horrid memories many of you carry a much more heavy burden. Many of you valiant people out there men & women alike, are dealing with extra situations that I do not have to face. Many of you are now single parents, many of you suffer from poor health in many different ways, some of you are still care givers for sick family members. Some of you are just as desperate to end your pain as I feel at times. All of you have made me feel very humble as you are all dealing with whatever your situation is with determination and courage. In spite of what you yourself are experiencing you are eager to give others words of encouragement and support.
I have also learned that the weird things I have been experiencing are actually considered "normal". While that doesn't make it feel better it is at least reassuring. In addition, I have learned from the example you are setting for me to keep on trying.
So, thanks to each one of you. Although I do not know any of you I feel like you are an important part of my life and support system. Thank you for the lessons you have been teaching me and for the caring that is given to all who are on DS.
Darlene
I don't know what I would have done or where I would be without the support, understanding and friendship that I have found here on DS. As Carol said, some members have left - some have moved on to other groups, but everyone has touched my heart in some way.
I am glad that you have found your way here - and I hope that you find the support that you need. Hugs to you,
Chris
Nessie from KY
What a beautiful post, and how beautifully you put into words exactly the feeling of this site.
I remember the first time I came here. It was two weeks for me, and I felt I was losing my mind. I read some of the posts, and then posed one question. "How do I go on?". I remember it like it was just yesterday. I wasn't expecting anything, but had about 30 replies to my question that day. Heartfelt, loving people I had never met, were feeling my pain, and wanted to reach out to help me. There is only one word for that. AMAZING. I have been here ever since, and rarely miss a day to just chjeck in on all the dear f riends I have made here.
It is the one place where I know I can be heard no matter how I am feeling, and it is UNDERSTOOD. It's like the gift that just keeps on giving.
Thank you Darlene, for reminding us just how lucky we all are to have found such a place. HUGS!!!!
Diane
Thank you for expressing what I too have experienced on DS.
I truly believe that I am coping as well as I am at 5 months ONLY because of DS.
Looking back I see that although my husband had received superior surgical and medical care for RCC at a hospital that people from all over the world seek care, the only counselor there available to us at a very late date was strangely quite inadequate (although he acted as if he were helping), betrayed our confidences, seemed to be in the appointments to provide emotional strength to the young oncologist not us, and was not at all helpful in any way for either my husband or me. I was so emotionally distraught, I could not be the person I wanted to be at the time my husband needed so much from me. On my own I sought the help of a kind local counselor before he died. But, her first available appointment was not until what ended up to be after his death. I visited her three times after my husband's death. The counseling was not "covered" by insurance and was costing way too much. Other than having a pleasant visit to look forward to, I could see no benefit and did not continue. Then, on a VERY desperate night of June 10th at about 11 weeks after my husband's death, I searched the Internet and was guided to DS.
Since joining I mainly watch the posts and comment occasionally. I have gained so much stability from all of the courage and strength I see here from widows and widowers of all ages. Whenever, I need to feel grounded, I come to DS. DS is here day and night. I feel so very fortunate to have found DS. I will stay a long time.
I was able to with peace and strength experience alone what would have been our 48th wedding anniversary (my first without him) this past week because of what I learned from the DS W&W members. My deep felt thanks to all of you.
All you said is so profound.
These, special, beautiful people here, have also helped me, so very much.
A safe place to come, when the world around you seems to be tumbling down, and totally out of control.
Thank you for sharing:)
And everyone, thank you for caring.
(HUGS)
Debi
Hugs and best wishes to you.
Annie
This is my first post on DS. Just this morning I found this website and am looking forward to being a member. It is time for me to move forward with this new phase of life that I have been given. I have been working through my grief on my own and trying not to burden family and friends with my thoughts and feelings. After reading many of the posts I am hoping that with the support of DS that I will be able to gracefully accept the path that God sent me to travel. Blessings ......Denise