Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Charlie and I were married for 45 years. It was not always smooth but we hung in there. Both of us believed our vows meant something. We also believed that if you were not going to spend time together why be married. Don't know if it was because we could not have children, but we did almost everything together. Neither of us felt the need for other close friends. He was my best friend and I was his. Physically he was in pretty bad shape for the last 15 years. He tried never to let others know this. I was the one he confided in.
To get to the point, God created mariage. A good, lassting marriage has a special bond - that's why we're all here. I can't wrap myself around the idea that after we all had the kind of marriages that I think God wanted us to have, He would want us to be apart for a long time. I can understand that usually someone has to go first. I just don't want to wait years and years to join Charlie. That's what I pray for.
Julie
To get to the point, God created mariage. A good, lassting marriage has a special bond - that's why we're all here. I can't wrap myself around the idea that after we all had the kind of marriages that I think God wanted us to have, He would want us to be apart for a long time. I can understand that usually someone has to go first. I just don't want to wait years and years to join Charlie. That's what I pray for.
Julie
Here's what I have concluded. I hate to realize that it's true. My husband was the answer to everything I ever wanted in life. He was my joy, and as many have stated, we did everything together. Life couldn't get any better. Then he died. I have asked God many times, in my grief, Why did this happen. I have come to realize that I had made my husband my everything. Sure, I've always loved God, but I depended on Joe for everything. Now, my realization is that God wants us to look at HIM for everything. God is supreme and wants to me #1 in our lives, not #2. It's confusing, but this is all I've come up with.
Someone to go to dinner with, see a movie, and you did not have to call and ask someone to join you.
Marriage is knowing someone is there who has your back, will help you when you need an extra hand ----
Someone to love and get love back without calling your siblings, Mom or Dad or friend a different love than all other...
And darn it it is sad not having that someone for the rest of days here on earth...just the pits
Our marriage was the same as you describe. We were both married before. This was our 2nd marriage but we were together over 30 years. We did everything together. We raised a daughter together and have grand-children. But, nothing will ever be the same. I miss Don so much! It's been 8 months now. It's getting better, but will never be the same.
I've had the same thoughts about God that NewRoads shared. I wonder sometimes if Don was better at his relationship with our creator than I am. I'm working very hard at developing that relationship. Partly because I've figured out that God is the only one who will never leave me. And also, because maybe if I get it right it will be my turn.
Hugs,
Vicki